Back down the snake to day one but not giving up

I've posted before about having to come off Champix due to bad side effects. Well, today I slipped in quit glorious style and 6 roll ups later I've fallen off the wagon but I'm getting back on it now. I'm was attempting to cold turkey it thinking that the nicotine was out of my body... turns out them damn receptors were active and just waiting for a sneaky gap in my defenses of a stressful day.

I'm not down heartened but I'm also not going to kid myself that I don't have to start at day one again - a smokes a smoke otherwise in my eyes a quit isn't a quit.

The good point is damn those 6 roll ups tasted fowl and reminded me not only by the smell but by the taste what a damn disgusting habit this is and how glad I will be when it goes finally from me. I forced myself to smoke the last one just as a 'see that's what you get for falling off the wagon isn't it disgusting'.

Tomorrow is day one patches are going to be the route I'm going and this time all tobacco is being thrown out of the house so there is no chance of a slip up even if it wasn't mine but my husband's 'stash'. He has not fallen off the wagon so I'm going to get resolute and get back on track with him.

I'm optimistic though at least the Champix 'fog' is lifting that has been effecting me and making me feel less than human for weeks now so I can face the quit with a clear mind which has been a huge issue for me throughout this.

I've also decided a different 'incentive' approach where each week the money I'm saving is going into a fund so I get an iPad once they are out in the UK - the geek inside me will like that incentive if nothing else :)

5 Replies

  • Hi, sorry this was missed. How are you getting on with the patches? Try not to beat yourself up about falling off the wagon, its happened to many of us, just try and look forward, maybe read some more of the tales from the quit. :)

  • Hi K,

    Sorry to hear about your blip but you sound very, very positive again now so hope this new quit is going well for you.

    As Fi, said, sorry this was missed & for the late reply. Let us know how you are.


  • Hiya Karm. Good for you for getting back into it again. This time don't get on the wagon, get in it with us, less likely to fall, it's good here. Good for you for starting from fresh again, as you say, a smoke is a smoke and like some people on here (still in denial) you fed the addiction again. You will do better this time because you know you wont enjoy it again. As Fi said do some reading, might help you. If Bella had still been here it wouldn't have been missed, she'd have picked it up on the night shift. David

  • Thank you all well I'm still smoke free on the patches but smoke free. Weirdly having a blip seems to have renewed me as it did make me realise and I was craving these for what as they tasted disgusting. The Champix side effects are gradually going too which means I'm starting to really feel more human.

    I think the weirdest thing for me is I am so used as a designer (I'm a web designer) to using smoking during creating designs. I've found it really hard to come up with designs since giving up but it certainly seems to be breaking a bit on that front. I know it's just psychological and something have to get through. I do still have the attention span of a brain damaged hamster though but slowly getting that back to where it was before gave up smoking.

  • LOL k, glad things are good for you. Hope your brain recovers quickly now, it's a rubbish feeling I know but soon will be back to full power again :D

    Gaynor x

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