Having an absolute nightmare of late. Im not feeling myself at all. Im angry, sad, confused, tired and displaced.
I went round to visit a friend after another day from hell at work wrestling with these demons. My head was literally about to explode when my friend said "whats wrong? Ive never seen you like this before?"
I explained I'd never felt like this before and the only thing different in my life and only thing that has happened since I started feeling like this was stopping smoking.
she offered me a cigarette. (In hindsight, this was a friendly test, she wouldnt have given me one). Inside I was screaming for one.
But I said NO in distain! ( I honestly didnt want a cigarette, it would have been nice. But I didn't WANT/NEED it)
She replied..."you really have kicked the habit havn't you"!
I agreed, it made sense. What doesnt make sense is this inbetween period of stopping smoking for a couple of weeks and people patting you on the back and saying well done...we'll support you.
After a month or so, they're quick to forget you used to smoke, the support has gone....but you still feel like the depths of hell mentally!!! Afterall life goes on and without the little dopamine fixes...its even harder -dealing with life as well as the anger, sadness, confusion, tiredness and feelings of displacement!!!
So far in the past few days, Ive angered just about everyone I know, nearly quit my job, lost all focus of where my life is going and whats it all about!
Is this all down to not smoking? Or, should I be going to the Docs for "happy pills"? Because if thats the case...im going back on the smokes!
Don't worry...i know this is all down to smoking cessation...how can I expect my mind/personality to be tip top after halting a 12 year addiction stone dead just a few weeks ago!?!
Just having yet another rant!!!! :mad::mad::mad:
thanks for the ear!