This might ramble a bit lol
I have wanted to stop smoking for quite a few years, tried nearly two years ago on patches then my Dad had a stroke (never smoked in his life) and it was back and forth to the hosp for nearly three months and then he passed away and I had been back to smoking. Didnt feel strong enough to try at that point and it was just before the smoking ban. The thing was though I couldnt do anything without a cig in my hand, eg answer the phone drive the car have a coffee, dry my hair. It had got ten times worse and thought when I move will try again but I didnt and I wasnt even noticing how many I smoked my friend would say sometimes you have just put one out and I really hadnt noticed. Looking after my mum and brother was taking up a lot of time and my thoughts missed my job. Then after Mark had said a few times you dont want another you have just had one I started noticing every cig I had and I realised I couldnt even wash the pots without having one before and after. One was to motivate the other to reward and I thought is this how I am leading my life? It was everything was motive and reward with cigs. I decided on the 3rd March that was it and I stopped smoking for 15 days and did well felt a lot calmer infact my daughter in law came as I was getting back from shopping and commented how calm I was (normally getting ratty by then) but for some reason on the 15th day I fell apart ran out the house and bought cigs. I tried again nearly a week later and the same happened not as long that time and I was back to smoking. Since then I have felt more trapped by this drug and i dont want it as part of my life anymore I hate it being the thing that I turn to when I feel down, happy etc.
Started Champix 5 days ago and this week have been going over all my weakness in my previous quits and feel I know where I have gone wrong so feel better prepared. Champix is already working as cigs are starting to taste horride.
This time I am going to be free!