quitting couples

I am quitting with my hubby and I am on day six after smoking for 11yrs and smoking around 25 ciggies a day.

To say hubby and I have been locking horns is an understatement and buffy suggested maybe starting a thread about quitting couples, so if any1 out there is quitting with their other halves and has any suggestions about how to live with a bit of harmony please can I have a bit of advice, coz to be honest I feel sorry for my kids at the mo having to live with us.

Husband thinks he is super quitter coz he is only using a 2mg gum whereas I am on a 4mg gum, an its causin some friction as well as us both being irritable anyway.

33 Replies

  • We're quitting together too

    Hi Charlene.

    My wife and I are quitting together as well, I'm only on Day 3, but saw your post, so have promoted myself to Day 4, lol

    Here's my tale of woe (which was from the end of Day 1)

    :D No ciggies yesterday, and not going to have one today! :D

    However, my wife was a 40-a-day smoker, she gave up for 6 months or so last year, and started again.

    If I had given up then too, she probably wouldn't have gone back to them so readily.

    So, we've quit together. Yesterday, Day 1, she e-mailed me at work,

    "DON'T THINK ABOUT SMOKING/NOT SMOKING, IT'S NOT AN ISSUE" so i thought she's doing OK. I get home after work, feeling all great and proud of myself (for not smoking one day, hah, sometimes I think that's a silly thing, it's not like I've run a marathon. But it's a milestone, and the hardest day is Day 1).

    I asked how her day was, she said she'd been a bit 'tetchy' but OK otherwise. Made us a cup of tea, and wham. My loving caring wife turns into a screaming psychotic banshee!

    I'd left the tea caddy open


    and the washing up bowl is turned in the sink,


    I think 'tetchy' has to be the biggest understatement ever.

    So, and you gotta laugh, I left her to it. Told her I was off, and would be back after the Grand Prix on Sunday, when she was more normal.:rolleyes:

    I think I heard the tea cup hit the door as it closed behind me!

    So, I can cope with my stress, but how to take on the addiiotnal stress of another ex-smoker?

    She was trying cold turkey like me, but I think I need to get her some patches!

    Good luck and best wishes to all those out there reading this.

    Thanks for your time.

    PS Everything is alright, of course. We laughed about it this morning.


    I didn't smoke yesterday, I'm not going to smoke today. I'll let you know about tomorrow when it gets here

    So, as you can see, it happens. Mrs Wabbitt has been to doctor today. Didn't get any NRT, just decided to put me through hell.

    Strangely enough she was very calm last night. Figured she was over the worst of it, then looked in the bin this morning, saw butts in the bin. Hidden from view, but obviously there, and they aren't old, because i changed the bin when we gave up to rid the bin of the ash smell.

    So she's lapsed. But I will stick at this.

    As for your hubby - well he's obviously Mr Competitive. My wife moans I have to turn everything into a competition, which puts her off. And I fear this may have the same effect on you. So you need to ask him to not make it a competition between the two of you. That might work for him, but I feel it won't work for you, which is detremental to your 'PMA'.

    He can't help it, it's a man thing. Don't ask why, it just is.

    I hope this has made you smile. Share your silliest argument with us. Then in a couple of days, print it out and show him, it will look ridiculous. That should help the stress.

  • thanks wabbitt that has helped, and I am releieved to know that We are not the only couple letting something like leaving the bread open turn into world war3, like it did with us yesterday.

    We actually havent had an argument today althouugh that has something to do with the fact that I only saw him for 5 mins this morning (he works nights), but hopefully we will be able to hold fire until I go to work later, stranger things have happened.

  • Ah thanks wabbit was driving myself mad who i had spoken to the other day with regards to couples >_<

    wouldn't usually forget but so many people have joined all at once sorry :(

    Glad you found each other in the end :D

    ~Buffy x

  • I'm quitting on my own as my wife is a social smoker who can just stop whenever she feels like it :mad: But she hasn't had 1 since before I quit anyway. She smokes menthols anyway which I can't stand. She does make it look really easy.

  • My friend has always been like that and i was jealous too.

    Now, after 15years of social smoking a small bump in the road and she's been on 20 a day for the last 18mnths and is now quitting for good.

    There is no 'social' smoking believe me! Your wife will face issues with her habit at some point in time.

    Hopefully she'll stay off them for good with you, if it's no problem for her then it would be a good sign of support from her side x x x x

    ~Buffy x

  • Hi Barney, dont worry that you are finding it harder than your wife seems to, as giving up is your own experience and like buffy said sooner or later it will catch up with your wife.

    My husband was seemingly finding it easier than me until I asked him tonight when I got in from work during one of our disagreements why are you finding this so easy??? to which he replied Im not Charlene and to be honest I could fcuking murder you right now so go in the other room please while I have a gum and calm down.

    So its also maybe that she is finding it harder than you think and she doesnt want to put on you too much, but if not then you need to concentate on your own quitting and not on hers so much. Good Luck you can do this.

  • Hi

    My hubby is still smoking. I hope that he will just decide one day to give up with me. He does smoke outside and doesn`t smoke in the car anymore , so that does help me.

    Oneday maybe:rolleyes:

    Barb x

  • I remember the last time I tried to quit on my own (more or less this time last year and I lasted two weeks) and hubby was still smoking and it did make the urge to smoke more tempting, but your hubby sounds very supportive of you quitting.

    It would be nice if he gave up, and he still might, but he obviously isnt ready.

    At least if he does decide to give up he will have you there to support him because you have been there the way he is for you.

  • Charlene.

    Reading this post was the funniest thing I've read all day

    why are you finding this so easy??? to which he replied Im not Charlene and to be honest I could fcuking murder you right now so go in the other room please while I have a gum and calm down.

    Glad to see hubby is not quite as on top of it as he makes out. Although stressful at the time, as long as you both agree to not hold grudges, all will be OK.

    I suggest packing the kids off too Grandma's for a week, :rolleyes:

    Better still, you pack off for a week, and leave him with the kids, lol :D

    Glad you're keeping spirits up.

    I'm off to the British Grand Prix this weekend for boys weekend away. Gets me away from Mrs Wabbitt and her stressing, plus all my friends are non smokers so that will help a lot over the next four days.

    GO LEWIS !!!!!

  • Ouch I hope he ducked after saying that to you charlene! :eek:

    ENjoy your jolly boys outing wabbit :D

    Another day under your belts well done guys :p

    ~Buffy x

  • Hey Wabbitt glad to of cheered you up, if you see this post b4 you go have a great time at the grand prix, and keep on exercising that willpower.:D

  • After yet again another argument saying sorry, hubby and I realised we havent actually said anything nice, loving or complimentary to one another since last week, which is awful as we are normally a loving couple who see each other as the other ones best friend.:(

    Tonight we talked properly and have made a truce that the next time a spiteful, hurtful or sarcastic comment is playing on our lips waiting to attack we try our damdest to walk away and the other person will know that they are pi**ed off and leave them alone.

    Maybe harder in theory than in practice I think but well worth a try before you all read about the wife that murdered her husband in the national papers soon, (only joking).

    But on a serious note surely we should be starting to ease off one another by now, or maybe we have gotten used to snapping at each other, and using each other as a vent for our fustration.:confused:

    Also we are going out somewhere fun just the 2 of us, (no kids) to say well done for coming this far which will hopefully bring us closer to being friends again.

    Anyways I start week 2 tomorow and I cant believe I have come this far. I had some wine with my friends last night and didnt smoke which is great as the two normally go hand in hand for me, so at least I know I can handle it socially.:D Anyway sorry for rambling on and on but I needed to vent a bit tonight.

    Heres to another smoke free day tomorow, we can do it, taking it one day at a time.:)

  • >_<

    Ouchy lol thread seems to be coming along lovely :p

    There should be a couples forum here rofl!

    Take it easy my coupled quitters hehehe

    by the way my partner still smokes and i have been faced with temptation everyday as we smoked the same brand, i can actualy go get a ciggy anytime! :eek: hehehe

    Don't know whats harder!!

    ~Buffy x

  • Ouch! that must be hard for you buffy as you will be able the ciggies on him as well, you poor thing!:eek:

    I hope he supports you and doesnt smoke around you, it must be like living with temptation itself anyway knowing you can go and get one.

    Really enjoyed boudees post about this morning, what we have to live with eh?:rolleyes:

  • sorry about that buffy, my heads gone, kids are in my ears, meant to say you must be able to smell the ciggies on him.

  • He's not a big smoker he just uses cigs for his erm rollies :rolleyes: at night time maybe 2 or 3 so i get wafts but he doesn't smell like a real ciggy smoker hope i make sense :rolleyes:

    He doesn't smoke at pub etc

    I have actually managed to wear the kids out :eek: 5 hour cricket match rofl now they are quite quiet and i feel almost relaxed :D hehehe

    ~Buffy x x

  • Ah yes Boudee does make for some very interesting posts hehehe

    She's my buddy, you'll all love her!!


  • Glad someone managed too, my house looks like bomb hit it and we have only been home half an hour,:rolleyes: they are watching harry potter now so I can hopefully get tidied up, at least it will take my mind off cravings for a bit.:p

    Dont know if this is anything to do with giving up smoking or not but has anyone had aches, pains, headaches and dizziness coz I feel like Im coming down with flu or something or maybe its just the withdrawls.:confused:

  • It's a very common quit symptom sorry >_<

    It is your body adjusting and ridding you of all that crap in side!!

    ~Buffy x x

    Pizza!!!!!!! lol ttfn x x

  • Oh dear I hope it doesnt last long, I really struggled to get out of bed this morning coz my head felt like it was gonna explode, and that it was the day after a strenuous aerobics session or something.

    Pizza, wine AND choc I think hehe.:)

  • hehe yup i am pizza'd up and drinking a wee glass of shiraz rose :D

    Don't know what to do with my Saturday night in with no Dr Who or Casualty :(

    Hope your head is better tomorrow :) unless you overdo the wine :rolleyes:

    ~Buffy x

  • He hasnt stopped and its p*****g me off

    Day 5 now. Yesterday we went to an afternoon do in a pub which was ok for me as I was able to resist temptation and stay inside but annoying because all the conversation migrated outside with the smokers (there was a lot of them and only a handful on non smokers). Love the smoking ban! They all look so stupid huddled round an ashtray outside.

    Anyway, I know I am a little irritable and little things are p*****g me off but my partner who is still smoking seems to much prefer me when I was smoking - hes practically said this but wouldnt dare say it out loud to me - and to be fair we have had arguments almost every single day since I have been on the champix. (didnt used to). There are 3 packets of his fags in the kitchen deliberatley left out as well. I cant bin the ashtrays, lighters etc as he needs them.

    I could scream but I'm not giving in - even more now. he's not smoking in the living room but as he disapears to the kitchen for a fag, it seems every five minutes its driving me f****n mad! I'm so annoyed - I'm getting out of the house by myself and going to the trafford Centre for the day where its smoke free. Ive got £25 in my 'no-smoking' jar for treats so I'm off to the cinema to oggle at Johnny Depp.

  • Reply to buffys 'rollies' post

    My fella also smokes 'rollies' and I did too before I stopped smoking 5 days ago. This is one thing that is hurting me more than anything. He's lovely and calm and relaxed and at one with the world and I'm prowling the house like a caged lion.

  • Morning Boudee

    Know what your saying about hubby My partner Stopped for 5 weeks and was telling me how easy it was then started smoking again. Said hes stopping twice now and as only lasted a few hours now he is quiting again 2moro haha we will see. We go on holiday two weeks tuesday hope I can be strong will be with him 24/7. My pc went blank friday night was pulling my hair out so glad its fixed missed you all speak later Linda xxx

  • Indeed shark, chilled and at one with the world surrounded in a cloud of smoke while i want to rip his head off !! :D hehe

    Men Boudee you poor thing, he does it everytime you should of been prepared for that one!! keep a stash of patches in your bag, 'oh dear hun never mind heres a spare one i have!' :p

    These men are making it difficult on themselves, we rule!!

    ~Buffy x x

    Ahh welcome back the hill~hairy~arse gifs :D

  • Go boudee, keep that man in check, fancy sitting and smoking in front of you, but you stayed strong hun and thats the most important thing, he deserves a real telling off and maybe punishment in the form of torture for that.

    Poor shark, maybe your partner being booted out of the house to smoke might help with your cravings. Me and hubby are always ready to rip each others heads off and we dont have to contend with fags being around, you must be one strong lady! Make sure your partner knows what a wonderful time you have had with your fag money today, you deserve the treat!:D

  • Girls rule! (on the giving up smoking front anyway)

    Boudee, sympathy flying over the internet right now.

    Although I am only on day 5 I am very very proud of myself that I have not given in despite a screaming row. Would have used it as an excuse before to go and get some. Thought this joke might cheer up those girls who are finding their smoking blokes downright obnoxious.

    A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, while a wonan is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged features. And when she is menstruating (OR HAS ONLY JUST STOPPED SMOKING she prefers a man doused in petrol, set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eyes and a cricket stump jammed up his ar*e.

  • hehehe

    Cheers for that shark bought out a good giggle here :D

    Reminds me of my friends wedding photos :rolleyes:


    ~Buffy x x

  • Hehehe

    Well he did Ok Boudee i guess! Cheeky mare asking to smoke in garden :eek: He should of said goodbye and gone to work, if he smokes on route then it doesn't bother you at all!

    Guess he'll have to start walking the dog more often if he insists on smoking.

    Shame he can't do it as well as you x x it must be tough for you having him start with you but never following it through!!

    At least you got the upper hand now :D hehehe

    ~Buffy x x

  • Poor boudees hubby :eek: <----- that brows a goner!

    Now if i had any idea what your job was or your customers i would be a little wiser to the whole shebang! :confused:

  • Not freelance tax advisors perchance???

  • Me too!:confused:

    Did I miss the start of this conversation?

    Do you run a shop with your hubby?

  • Wooo go barney!! 69 posts woop woop :D

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