As some of you know i've had a few failed attempts lately, so the last week i have been reading lots and spending time getting the right mindset and have a couple of questions...there's no right answer i guess just need your opinions/experiences:
1. On a few threads people have said things like "I'm really craving, i know i wont smoke but its really hard"....can anyone tell me more about this frame of mind? i cant understand the KNOWING you wont and finding it hard in one sentence. i've been "wibbly" before and known i wont smoke on previous quits but every time it's REALLY hard...
2. i think the "one day/hour at a time" thing is really helpful and a great persepective, however in the last couple of attempts nicodemon had managed to get me to think i can just smoke one more day, and even though in theory i've known it's nicodemon, i've managed to convince myself its not and so the one day/hour at a time doesnt apply to me, in that moment, cos i'll be "quitting tomorrow" - any ideas how to get passed this?:confused:
3. Finding the psychology of quitting and how people think of it amazing...why when there's no nicotine left in the body do we still crave so bad, is it literally just "habit"?
Sorry for the big post...any help very gratefully received for my planned quit on Tues 15 Feb, OH has said he's doing it with me this time which i hope will make it easier
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As some of you know i've had a few failed attempts lately, so the last week i have been reading lots and spending time getting the right mindset and have a couple of questions...there's no right answer i guess just need your opinions/experiences:
This is great, Lulabelle...I've got the highest opion of folk that post and question constructively, seeking answers in a meaningful way rather than just tedious polling of others.
1. On a few threads people have said things like "I'm really craving, i know i wont smoke but its really hard"....can anyone tell me more about this frame of mind? i cant understand the KNOWING you wont and finding it hard in one sentence. i've been "wibbly" before and known i wont smoke on previous quits but every time it's REALLY hard...
Well you'll know the feeling of craving :eek:
So, the 'knowing you won't'...for me that was because I became ultra stubborn. Like so many I've had numerous attempt and decided that the only way for me to stick with getting through the difficult times was to be stubborn. I didn't know that it would definitely get easier but I had faith that it would.
2. i think the "one day/hour at a time" thing is really helpful and a great persepective, however in the last couple of attempts nicodemon had managed to get me to think i can just smoke one more day, and even though in theory i've known it's nicodemon, i've managed to convince myself its not and so the one day/hour at a time doesnt apply to me, in that moment, cos i'll be "quitting tomorrow" - any ideas how to get passed this?:confused:
Yup, been here too
For me if I was not quite getting 'round to quitting but rather putting it off then I'm not quitting. I downed tools and got on with smoking knowing that my head wasn't quite into it. Shortly my subconscious would start pricking away and nagging me to stop smoking. For me getting off on a firm footing when my resolve was at its highest helped a great deal.
3. Finding the psychology of quitting and how people think of it amazing...why when there's no nicotine left in the body do we still crave so bad, is it literally just "habit"?
You said a couple of questions
If you've read Allen Carr before he talks about the brainwashing of our minds. Things like the Hamlet Cigar ad where the guy is in front of firing squad and obviously smoking is the best wish to have before getting shot. Even when I was a smoker I could make a long list of other things I'd rather have as my final wish.
We needed a smoke to vitalise us, to help us relax, to help us concentrate, to end our meal with, to calm our nerves, etc Nicotine can't possibly do all of that...it's stoopid to think it can. It's just that we over the years have been subtly brainwashed to think that a cig can help in every scenario.
Sorry for the big post...any help very gratefully received for my planned quit on Tues 15 Feb, OH has said he's doing it with me this time which i hope will make it easier
1. On a few threads people have said things like "I'm really craving, i know i wont smoke but its really hard"....can anyone tell me more about this frame of mind? i cant understand the KNOWING you wont and finding it hard in one sentence. i've been "wibbly" before and known i wont smoke on previous quits but every time it's REALLY hard...
I think I read an article called 'embracing the crave' or something like it. That's what you need to do. Accept it and move on. I find I come on here (or did so in the past) so I could write down how I was feeling and understand it. I could say, OK, I'm craving, it sucks, but this is why. And I'm not going to give in to it, yay me.
It helped! To acknowledge the feeling, identify its source, understand why it was happening, and let it go. Or at least know that it would pass. Coming out the other side is seriously rewarding, and every time it's a little bit easier.
2. i think the "one day/hour at a time" thing is really helpful and a great persepective, however in the last couple of attempts nicodemon had managed to get me to think i can just smoke one more day, and even though in theory i've known it's nicodemon, i've managed to convince myself its not and so the one day/hour at a time doesnt apply to me, in that moment, cos i'll be "quitting tomorrow" - any ideas how to get passed this?:confused:
That's your inner junkie talking. They're very, very good at persuading you why you should cave, or have 'just this one', or indeed not stop at all. You have to learn to recognise the voice of your own personal inner junkie. Once you can, it's a lot easier to tell them to sod off.
3. Finding the psychology of quitting and how people think of it amazing...why when there's no nicotine left in the body do we still crave so bad, is it literally just "habit"?
Yep, but 'habit' is a weak word for a strongly ingrained compulsion. If you've done something repeatedly, habitually, for many years then the brain is conditioned to expect it whenever you encounter the triggers/emotions/situations where you've done it in the past. And let's face it, when it comes to smoking that's for most situations, emotions and events!! Think about it: if rats can be conditioned to expect food when they hear a noise, imagine what a complicated network of impulses and feelings our sophisticated brains are capable of. It feels physical.
The good news is, if we understand why it's happening, we can, slowly but surely, recondition our brains. As time passes and we get past all those triggers, they stop having the same effect. And it feels so bloody brilliant to be free.
I'm a guy who's always been quitting 'tomorrow.' Always feels like tomorrow will somehow be a better or easier day somehow. It never is though, tomorrow's just another day.
My last quit started that way, with me waking up & going to light a cigarette & for some reason something snapped in my head & i just stopped myself. Threw them away & just embraced withdrawal. The cravings came & i just didn't care. I knew exactly what they were, & i knew they'd go away pretty quickly. I didn't dread them or bemoan the fact that i was having to go through them. I looked on them as symptoms of a battle i was winning.
If you're going through hell, keep going.
On my 2nd day i even went & stood at the smoking shelter with a colleague while she had a smoke. I wasn't tempted to join her, because i knew that i genuinely don't want to be a smoker anymore.
Mindset really is the best weapon. If you're clear in your head about exactly what you want, only you can stop it happening. Never doubt that. You have to choose not to smoke, & when you do, it's only you who can stop it happening. Know your craves, expect them & then laugh in their face when they arrive. It's only a torturous process if you allow it to be.
No amount of stress, bad days or cravings can change your mind. Only you can.
This forum is so good! Adding all your advice to my arsenal of weapons
Cav - i'm not esp stubborn, but am quite competitive, so maybe that will be a helpful way to look at it - me vs cigs!
Hels - it helps to know that each time gets a bit easier and i will focus on how good it is to be free
Mr E - am very impressed with your snap decision to stop - i've never been able to do that - though i've read on here it works for a lot of people, but i'm definitely a planning person. I like the mindset that it's only torturous if you let it be.
The more into "the mindset" i get the more it's feeling like this wont be a giant battle and may even (should i say this?) be quite easy! Not sure if this is this a good way to be feeling pre-quit or whether i'm gonna have a nasty surprise??
why when there's no nicotine left in the body do we still crave so bad, is it literally just "habit"?
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The habit is to use the nicotine as a de-stressor, for example, as a mechanism for feeling full after a meal, as a way to enjoy a social occasion with confidence, as a way to drink alcohol or caffeine without feeling overwhelmed. The trick is to find another mechanism to de-stress, like I have done, and then there is no need to smoke. This is why meditation, tapping, Reiki, prayer, and support like on this forum have been cited as useful; these methods help you release what the cigarettes used to release for you. Anyway, this is what I did in the end, after trying everything else, and it worked for me. Later on, I still became very ill as a result of having smokers lung, and the meds I was given made me put on weight. I am now using the same de-stressors to help me lose this weight, now that my smokers lung is more manageable, and I am much healthier.
Just my point of view from my own experience. I hope it helps
The more into "the mindset" i get the more it's feeling like this wont be a giant battle and may even (should i say this?) be quite easy! Not sure if this is this a good way to be feeling pre-quit or whether i'm gonna have a nasty surprise??
I've had a few major moments where I've felt like tearing my hair out, punching someone right on the nose and screaming from the rooftops, howling at the moon and still known, quite categorically, that I wouldn't smoke...
I've even questioned my own sanity at points during this first three months....but I still won't smoke.
I think for me it just isn't worth it. I have read so much about the damage smoking does to us, some which despite still being relatively young I'm fairly certain I have, that I can not for one second justify smoking ever again.
For me to smoke it would be like sticking my hand in a flame, going 'ouch' but then doing it again - and again - and again. If you know something is really hurting you - you stop doing it.
Coming up to my three month milestone all done and dusted and I'm a different, better person than I was. I can't beleive how much quitting the fags has changed my life. It's actually quite immense and a complete and utter surprise to me. There are now more reasons to stay quit than there are to smoke.
You will get there...get your head right and then no matter how the nicodemon tries to get you, you will choose to go through it rather than smoke.
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Not sure if this is this a good way to be feeling pre-quit or whether i'm gonna have a nasty surprise??
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