What is the role of real tragedies and loss in OCD?

[80_Zil_ian]

Hello, I’ve never discussed this in an OCD forum before, but I think it’s relevant.

One of the biggest struggles with OCD is the anxiety about something disastrous happening, whether caused by us or not. So, how do we usually respond when really bad things actually happen?

I’m almost 45 years old, and like most people, after turning 30, I started experiencing loss—some of it tragic—on a frequent basis.

Many of these episodes had a devastating impact on my life, but, as strange as it may seem, these events generally didn’t affect my OCD. In some cases, they even helped me make progress with it.

I know the Nietzsche cliché applies here: “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” But I would like to know if anyone else has experienced the same thing. I think raising awareness about this could help younger OCD sufferers who are haunted by thoughts like, “What would happen if I experienced a situation like this?”

[deValentin]

You brought up a very interesting topic. What happens when an OCD sufferer faces real misfortune? In my experience, OCD takes second place.

OCD is mostly about uncertainties and imagined possibilities. If I stop wondering or trying to clarify certain matters, I may miss a chance to appease my mind. The possibility of missing a chance to solve a problem is tormenting me and driving me to keep searching for answers at any cost. The real world takes second place.

One time, while in the middle of obsessive wondering, a flow of water appeared outside my home as a consequence of a heavy downpour and started to flood my basement. All my wonderings suddenly stopped. My attention was now focused on damage control. How could my mind be wrapped up in futile speculations when my attention should be focused on the real world and its potential threats, I asked myself afterwards. It didn't stop me from eventually returning to endless pondering though, once the pressing danger has passed. Idleness may be truly the devil's workshop.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to deValentin]

It didn't stop me from returning to endless pondering though 😂 🤣

Yup. The Gods laugh.

[80_Zil_ian in reply to deValentin]

I completely agree with every word. It reminds me of Martin Scorsese's movie about Howard Hughes. I don’t know if it was intentional or not, but I noticed that the less busy the main character was, the more the scenes focused on his OCD. On the other hand, during moments when the real world and his achievements demanded his full attention, he wasn’t as focused on the symptoms.

I think this can be a valuable message for people who are just starting to experience the disorder and often find themselves asking, “How would I respond to a difficult or terrible situation?” In most cases, the answer is: much better than OCD tells you.

[deValentin in reply to 80_Zil_ian]

Yeah, for daunting events like acting in a play, the anticipation is often the worst. For pleasant events like Christmas, the anticipation is often the best. The human mind isn't a very good judge of the future. “People believe very easily whatever they fear or desire” (La Fontaine).