I have contamination with focusing on HIV. It ruins my life. I sea every little spot on any surface as a blood or body fluids, I fear of touching things with any dirts, or touch others.
Although I have tested for HIV and it was negative just a month ago, and have no risk factors but I sometimes think maybe I get it these days and I can tranfer it to my beloved ones ir I or they have any wounds on my skin.I have to check others seceretly if this OCD monster bothers me.
I went to therapy but here in my country it is so so so expensive and they are not expert in OCD. is there anyone who can guide me ? is there any one who are healed from OCD
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FatimaaaA
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I have searched in youtube and watch therapy sessions, read books (now I am reading "Stop Obsessing") ... I hope I and every body likes me get better and better and better... these feeling such a nightmare in every seconds. Thank you for your reply
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I have had a similar obsession with rabies for the past few years. Instead of blood I have worried about contaminated saliva.
I have gotten much better through ERP therapy and SSRI medication. If you can't access medication, many people have gotten better through ERP alone. It is good to have a therapist but I do not think it is as essential today as it might have been in the past. As LuvSun says there are tons of good materials online. Here is a site that has helped me:
Also it has helped me to learn as much as I can about OCD. I especially like reading case studies because they help me see that my OCD is just a mental disorder and that my fears are not rational. When my fears appear, I try not to respond to them, because that only makes them stronger. The goal is to teach the brain that the fears are not relevant, and eventually they will not feel so real.
There is a book called "The Man Who Couldn't Stop" by David Adam. He has OCD that is focused on a fear of HIV. Sometimes I find it helpful just to realize that other people are dealing with the same fears I am, and that it is all just OCD. You can listen to an interview with Mr. Adam here:
You can get better from this. It may take time but if you work at it consistently you can be much less anxious and much happier. You may have setbacks but you can learn from them and overcome the OCD episodes much faster.
My main advice is to try to always remember that the fears and doubts you have are from OCD. As you probably know, the chance of catching HIV through casual contact is so low that most people don't worry about it. Your brain is magnifying the danger only because you have OCD.
If you can access an online support group, that can help you get some ideas and feel less alone. There is a list of some of them here:
💛 THANK YOU for your reply in these details. They can be very useful for me. I will follow all you said. I think after a long time I am among some one who can understand what I say.
I am a microbiologist and I think it makes me anxious, I know many things abput HIV but my maind says : maybe the science is wrong :))) may be they will discover new way of transferring of HIV in future .... blah blah bah
It's interesting that you are a microbiologist. David Adam, who has the HIV fear, is an editor at Nature and a science writer -- so he is also very rational and informed, but his OCD still gave him trouble. It can happen to anyone. I hope you start to feel better soon!
As your suggestion, I started reading David Adams book. I think it can help me. it's me I think.
Dear Fatima,
I wish you well with this. OCD is so hard. I don't think I'll ever be "cured" of it. I just hope to manage it & keep it under control. I think it's wonderful that you're a microbiologist. I'm an RN and I loved my microbiology class. We had to culture our hands on the first day and believe me I became a great handwasher after that!
I love microbiology but I think this field makes me crazy. Sometimes I wish I studied anything but microbiology 😅 Yes this section of hand culturing was the first step of my OCD ... I figured out that my hand is not clean as I think
I wish anyone likes us can control this horrible feeling. Have you ever exprience ERP methods ?
Hey Fatima. Probably I won't say anything new that you haven't had read in other replies, but you must clearly realise - HIV is not your problem, and OCD IS. I had HIV related contamination fears, after engaging in some action with prostitutes in Thailand a couple of years ago (not the best idea for an ocder like me), it took a year of misery and 10+ something tests to get myself assured that HIV is not my problem. I even had some symptoms (don't know how real or imagined) caused by all the distress I went through. And you know what, it wasn't the right strategy that I applied at the time, looking for assurance in medical community and getting tested over and over again. Right then the best strategy should have been to stay away from any tests (at least all the tests that I had past 3 months of the sexual encounter), and let the anxiety just be there while gradually it will start dissipating if not in days, then weeks. If you think it is OCD, then it is. And OCD is not HIV, the only similarity the two have is a three letter acronym Learn how to calm down your obsessions and never NEVER engage into any compulsions. Stay away from compulsions and your OCD will start gradually wearing down. Hope it helps. If you have any other questions, free feel to send me a message in pm. I could give you all science literature and proven facts that you don't have HIV, but guess what it's a compulsion to get assured. So say to yourself F NO, I'm not letting OCD bitch to destroy my day again
I have the same thing... It makes no sense, I'll ride the subway and touch everything but sometimes get stuck in this loop I take 20mg lexapro daily and if I really can't get out of a loop, I use low dose clonazepam. I can taste the anxiety when my OCD is triggered. I hate it but OCD never fully goes away and there will always be triggers that other people don't think about at all. I try not to seek reassurance or at least wait until my anxiety is low and ask only once to my husband. I've had this disorder since my son was born 31 years ago. You have to accept you will always get triggered as some points in your daily life. Stay very busy and distract yourself as much as possible. I use exercise daily to help with my high anxiety level I also will let myself take alittle clonazepam till the OCD lessens and wean myself off. Good luck
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Learn how to calm down your obsessions and never NEVER engage into any compulsions. Stay away from compulsions and your OCD will start gradually wearing down. Hope it helps. If you have any other questions, free feel to send me a message in pm. I could give you all science literature and proven facts that you don't have HIV, but guess what it's a compulsion to get assured. So say to yourself F NO, I'm not letting OCD bitch to destroy my day again 
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