I have been recently diagnosed with severe ocd and am trying to learn the differences between regular thoughts and obsessions and compulsions. I have been trying to "catch" my thoughts before I do an compulsion and am finding it hard to "wait" the time in between. I have been thinking this way for many many years since I was a child and always knew I was different but didn't know what it was or how to handle it or make it go away. I have been going to an outpatient therapy program where they diagnosed me and put me on a new medication for ocd. They told me I have been misdiagnosed for years and are starting from the beginning testing me and talking to me every week. I am so grateful for this but can't help being upset a little by the fact that I had to spend my whole life struggling with this disorder and no one noticed. I feel a little freer to talk about it now since I know what it is and for years I just thought I was alone and different from other people. In my group therapies at the outpatient program I have found that many people struggle with this disorder and I am not alone! I am so grateful for this knowledge and for the caring people that have helped and continue to help me. I am looking forward to learning more so any suggestions or information or resources you may suggest would be very welcome.
Recognizing my ocd and what is me - My OCD Community
Recognizing my ocd and what is me
I’m also newly diagnosed as of earlier this year. I can relate to your gratitude and upset feelings when reflecting on how you’ve had ocd all your life. There are many levels to my own reflection and how impactful it was for me to go decades with so many misdiagnoses.
thank you for sharing that with me Its nice to know im not alone in being misdiagnosed for the last twenty years. Yet, even though Im upset with that I still feel hopeful for a better now and a better future because now i know that I'm not alone and I can DO something to help myself overcome this vicious cycle of judgement and guilt and shame for my thoughts and feeelings. Maybe I will even be able to handle my anxiety about life better as I receive treatment and support here and in the medical community. I am very blessed to have a loving family and friends who want to see me get better and live a fulfilling and peaceful life. I couldn't do it without them and the people who are supporting me every day. I wish i could run away from my own mind and all the fear and anxiety that is there. Its been very challenging to be able to function and still having all these obsessive and compulsive thoughts and actions. I haven't been able to work in years and just daily functions of showering , brushing my hair and teeth every day has been a challenge at times. I hope to find peace and happiness on my healing journey.
Sharing your journey does so much, not just for others but I sense freedom in your response! I am still gathering my support and solidifying my understanding of ocd and how it presented in the past and how it presents now. I wish you wellness and continued wellness! I think (for me), it’ll help to have a routine in place that can help me stay out of my mind. I may also start with CBT books now that I no longer wish to avoid CBT/DBT etc.
Hello, I'm sorry to hear that you were misdiagnosed for so many years. I can't even imagine how frustrating that must have been for you, knowing how different things could have been with a correct diagnosis on time.
I don’t know if this helps, but try to recognize that you made it this far mostly on your own (since you mentioned you don’t discuss this much with others, which I think is a valid choice). This, to me, is a tremendous display of strength.
I hope you get better soon.
I understand how frustrating but at the same time relieving to finally receive an appropriate diagnosis after years of suffering.
If you don't mind, I’d like to make a comment about what you said, “I have been trying to "catch" my thoughts before I do a compulsion and am finding it hard to "wait" the time in between”.
It reminds me of a Mark Twain’s story when, as a child, he stole a melon and didn’t feel bad about it until when he was about to eat the melon, he discovered it was not ripe. There is often a delay between a questionable act and the reaction of our conscience.
For instance, if I feel uneasy because I’m not 100% sure a faucet is turned off after I leave my house or something I eat won’t contaminate me, I’m under pressure to check again the faucet or eliminate the possible source of contamination. A part of me knows it’s excessive, but if I give in to the pressure, my conscience won’t object to it in the moment. Doing compulsions doesn’t seem hurtful while I'doing them (it only takes few minutes of my time), and it momentarily relieves some discomfort. It’s only afterwards, when I realized that doing compulsions over and over consumes all my time at the expense of more interesting and fulfilling activities, that I feel bad about it.
I know it’s not always easy, but it’s why it’s so important when we suspect a thought or an urge of being compulsive to let some time elapse to gain some perspective and realize all the long-term implications of giving in to it. With the passing of time, the compulsion weakens, and sometimes we don't understand how come it was so strong at the time we were just triggered.
Hello and well to the forum. I had my first OCD symptoms at age 15. It was 1970, no one knew what was wrong with me. I am now getting ready to turn 70. My OCD has waxed and waned during the years, but I had a very bad relapse in 2006 and that when I finally go the right diagnosis and help. I had know since I was in my 30s that I probably had OCD, but thought I could handle it “ on my own”. Anyway, this is all to say that I agree this is a horrible disorder but you can get to a point where you are basically symptom free. It takes hard work. I have had two relapses since 2006, but I have the tools and the professionals that help me. There is hope.
I’m also relatively newly diagnosed after suffering severe anxiety and depression since childhood. My symptoms don’t seem to be all that classic so it took an expert therapist to recognize what was really going on. I have mostly mental obsessions and compulsions and most days it feels like I live with a cage of tigers strapped onto my skull and they are torturing me 24/7. I’m new in this OCD journey and I feel your pain.
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