Distraction 2

[Reader_]

Whenever I try to concentrate on a task, I realise I had so many chances to do it in the past. And even though I know I can't change the past, the feeling of regret just doesn't go away and that makes me procrastinate in the present as well, coz then I am anxious and need a break. It's really frustrating, and this happens only when I require myself to focus on a task, either I am regretting that I didn't do it in the past, or I am anxious about the amount of work remaining, and whether will I be able to complete it in time.

[TomFed]

If you are aware that your emotions lead to procrastination and prevent you from achieving goals and live life fully, maybe it would be healthy to put some of these emotions aside. You don't mention in your post whether you have OCD and is this related to OCD, so it is hard to recommend you more exact tools and principles how to deal with it.

In general, OCD throws a lot of self-sabotaging thoughts and feelings at us that are part of the disorder. Much of it comes from guilt, shame and fear which describe almost every OCD case. As you heal from OCD, these self-sabotaging thoughts, feeling, ideas, character constructs also become less relevant and your perception of life and reality gradually becomes more healthy. Part of the healing from OCD is about learning how to truly love yourself and finding out what life you want to live so you fully manifest your virtues, goals and dreams. ACT therapy might help you do that.

[Reader_ in reply to TomFed]

Is OCD self-diagnosed? Because I do show all the symptoms of it, but is it enough to accept that I have the disease? If I say I have a disease, it makes me feel powerless.

And rejecting it, gives me no reason for acting out this way.

Is it just because I am too introverted? Too much of an overthinker?

Because in India, psychological diseases are not much talked about in middle class families.

Whether I have OCD or not, I know one thing. I definitely have these self-sabotaging thoughts which prevents me from moving forward.

Could you tell me more about ACT?

[TomFed in reply to Reader_]

OCD symptomatology is assessed through standard Y-BOCS test. You can find one online and do it by yourself, although my advice for you is to find a therapist who specialises in OCD treatment and can help you to learn ERP (exposure response prevention) techniques. You can do it online through apps like NOCD, or offline. For ACT psychotherapy, I don't want comment too much as I don't have a very deep understanding of it yet. Most of the treatment I've done was based on ERP. I mentioned ACT because I apply some core principles of ACT therapy (there are 6 main concepts in it), like committing to action in healing and everyday life that is based on my values when I start procrastinating and ruminating. And rumination as you mentioned in your post is one of the issues you'd like to deal with.

You should know that you are not powerless over OCD (if you have it). We are powerless only about the first part of the disorder which is obsessive intrusive thoughts as all people not only OCDers have intrusive thoughts that they have no control of. If you sit in meditation for a while, you'd soon understand that most of the thoughts, if not all, are pretty much automatic. So there is no good or bad thought.

Second part of OCD disorder are the compulsions when we try to control intrusive thoughts. That's where our healing is, because we can wilfully learn to not do compulsions, and when we don't do them, sooner or later the hell's wheel of OCD starts to unravel.

It's not the content of our thoughts that makes us OCDers different from regular crowd. Most people have intrusive thoughts of various kind, only how we relate to these thoughts makes us different from the non-OCD folks. Intrusive thoughts for OCDers ten to stick and when OCD is on spike the flow of intrusive thoughts can really be overwhelming (again OCD is usually spiking because we did compulsions). And again there are no bad or good thoughts, doesn't matter you are a lay person on the street or the guru up the mountain, most of our thoughts are just automatic trash anyway. So learn not to take them too seriously. Good luck.

[Reader_ in reply to TomFed]

Thank you!! I'll take the test

[TomFed in reply to Reader_]

Sure, you should be able to do it in less than an hour or max two, unless you start overthinking every question which is not the best way to do the test. Let me know what's the score and if there are other ways I could help.

[Reader_ in reply to TomFed]

The result was:■ Obsessions subtotal = 9

■ Compulsions subtotal = 9

■ Yale Brown Obsessive Compulsive Scale (YBOCS) Total Score = 18

Interpretation: This score is indicative of a moderate level of obsessive compulsive disorder being present in the evaluated patient.

[TomFed in reply to Reader_]

Hi. Good. I also had moderate OCD (I think it was 22.5 if I remember correctly) when I first did Y-BOCS with the ERP therapist. After a few months of ERP, and once a week one hour online sessions with the therapist, Y-BOCS score went below 7 which indicates subclinical. At that time, me and my therapist decided it is fine to discontinue the sessions for the time being.

Four months after the I discontinued therapy, I feel OCD is still at subclinical levels on most of the days. But I apply tools I learned in the therapy every day. It is an ongoing wrestle but it mostly doesn't affect my daily life. With the help of meditation, I'm at much better position to eradicate other compulsions, especially mental (pure ocd) ones. It is an everyday work.

These tests are a good way to track where you are at any point in your treatment. Now when you know it is OCD, do all you can to start healing from it and where you need help, please get it. You don't need to waste your precious life because of this disorder. I say it from my personal experience, as I went through terrible trials for a couple of decades struggling to deal with it alone and possibly trying all the wrong options before I started getting on the right ones. I know there are lessons in every journey, but one thing I wish is I had guts and mind clear enough to reach out for help a couple of decades ago when I already knew that IT IS OCD.

I truly believe healing from OCD for us folks suffering from it is the single most important task of our lifetimes. Love yourself.

[Reader_ in reply to TomFed]

Thank you very much😊

[Natureloverpeace]

The Happiness Trap by Dr. Russ Harris is one of the most recommended books on the insights and tools of ACT. As far as OCD goes, that needs to be diagnosed by a qualified mental health professional. The revised Y-BOCS and the revised DOCS are two tests that are used in diagnosing OCD. Both tests need to be interpreted by an OCD specialist who will sometimes need to clarify some answers before scoring the tests so accurate results are obtained. You can learn a lot about OCD by going to iocdf.org. The website has an incredible amount of resources, educational materials, livestreams, etc.