Help with mental rituals

[FirstResponder23]

Hi everyone, sorry for the lengthy post. I recently posted about how my OCD has flared up again. I’ve been having a few different themes coming and going, but mostly, the one that has been sticking is revolving around harm. I absolute hate that this is around, and I’ve had in the past, but have gone through therapy and had longer periods of time when ocd was quiet.

In recent talks with my therapist, we have found that I do a lot of mental rituals. I don’t usually do things that are objective and I can see or physically work on not doing. I have more mental rituals where I try to push ocd away, I have emotional rituals that play into the ocd, and lots of circulating doubt.

I’m constantly fearing that my thoughts mean I’m psychotic (what my ocd revolves around) and that these things will actually happen, or that I want to do them. I absolutely HATE this. And even more, I get so upset that I know not too long ago I was feeling really good, and could laugh at these thoughts if they came in. I’ve been so stuck. And I’ve been starting to doubt it’s ocd and that these thoughts won’t go away and I fear that the thoughts / “urges” are actually real.

Recently I also discovered that when I was in college, I was prescribed 2, 20mg (40mg total) of Prozac. I did well on this dose, and for the most part, was able to have way less days of ocd being loud. When I came home from college there was a miss communication with my new psychiatrist where I was taking 2, 40mg (80mg total) Prozac. I had been on that for about another year or year and a half, and then my primary care agreed to prescribe my medication. WE BOTH thought I was on 2, 20mg (40mg total). So for the last 6 months, I have been taking half, of what I was taking previously for 1.5 years. My hopes are that when I go back to my primary in a few days and inform them of this, they will get me back on the 80mg and that will be what I need to help me feel good again. Because right now I’ve just been living day to day feeling stuck in the same fear and it sucks.

I know I can’t rely on the medication alone, that’s why I’m asking for help with dealing with some of these mental rituals. Especially because I find that I find myself doing them automatically and getting stuck.

[SCC1]

Hi FirstResponder23. I have the same thoughts as you. I really believe my thoughts will come true if I don't do mental rituals. For me, I do physical compulsions as well as mental ones. Mine involve harm, too, and it is scary to have them.

My compulsions are also automatically done. It's like I don't even have time to let the intrusive/other thoughts "sit" to do anything positive about them. It just happens, like a hand-on-a-hot-burner reaction. Thoughts come (and many), and my automatic response is to get rid of them through a mental/physical behavior.

This is the part I hate the most- that I can't stop and assess the "situation". In my case, I believe I would have no opportunity to do any successful therapy, including ERP, because I don't have a chance to do it (mentally).- I had tried CBT, and it had only worked for a few days.

I totally understand what you are saying; it's a cycle that I can't break either. It's constant at times, but when it's not, it still happens throughout my day, every day! About a half hr (or less) after I wake up, it starts, and I go to bed w/ it, too.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I think meds help slow down the OCD thinking, which can lessen the intensity of the symptoms, so you can better deal w/ other things you may need to in life.

I think they would also help w/ therapy. IMO, meds can help enough to be able to concentrate on what the therapist is saying, and to be able to process things better so you can understand things more.

I'm sorry I don't have much advice, but I hope you can find peace soon. Best wishes.

[FirstResponder23 in reply to SCC1]

Thank you for your experience. I hope you can find that peace too! And it was helpful to just know others out there feel the same way. Thank you again.

[Dempsey1919]

I have that sort of ocd,everything is mental rituals. Remember bad people don't worry about harming someone,ocd attacks our morals and values. I'm going erp soon,I don't know what they are going to get me to do. But I practice mindfulness, notice the thought or intruiseive thought and not give in and do mental ritual, let the thought fade away by focusing on one thing like my breathe, sound ect.it can be transferred to normal everyday things notice intrusive thought or if your minds wandered doing a mental ritual and go back to the task you were doing. It takes practice,but practice makes perfect I'm on serialise 150 mil they help a bit.

[FirstResponder23 in reply to Dempsey1919]

thank you. I’m reading a book now about mindfulness and using it for ocd. I will for sure try this out and practice