Another OCD crisis. I need help - My OCD Community

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Another OCD crisis. I need help

Precious2023 profile image
9 Replies

Hi everyone,

Please who knows the small black thing on the carpet?

It's debilitating for me since 2 days ago that I saw this picture on social media and it triggered my OCD which revolves around black colour, on the floor or wall (may be diabolical or contaminating ) might cause harm which is bringing compulsion of removal. I have checked the image couple of times to see what exactly it is.... it's been doubt and uncertainty.... raising my anxiety, I am beginning to feel chest pain can't hold the discomfort anymore.

The OCD is accusing of doing it since I have been to the exact building(church) before. 2021 was the last time I was in that building(church) and the person took the above picture this year.

How could I have done such thing. I am really helpless right now, stuck with the intrusive thoughts and anxiety.

How do I break out totally from the Foolish OCD?

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Precious2023 profile image
Precious2023
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9 Replies
SCC1 profile image
SCC1

I'm not sure what the black spot is. It may just be a spot from something being dragged across the carpet. I notice you have some music equipment set up, so it could possibly be caused from that- maybe a grease spot.

To your question about how could you "have done such thing"; none of this is your fault. You are not responsible in any way for what your OCD is causing (if that's what you meant). You did not choose to stand next to a black spot and then want yourself to think about it.

You cannot be totally free of OCD. Therapy is a way to handle/treat it. (CBT/ERP). Commonly, medication is prescribed, and some meds may also help with anxiety, if necessary.

You have posted previously about other black marks that you did not know what they were. Has any harm come to anyone since then? Anything that can't be explained?

I think the only way to feel more comfortable when seeing a black mark, wherever it may be, is to talk w/ a therapist who will understand and help you through your fear. Or you can tell your GP. Your GP can tell you what resources are available as far as finding someone to talk to about this.

Precious2023 profile image
Precious2023 in reply toSCC1

Thanks so much SCC1 for your comforting comments.After every OCD crisis, I would promise myself not to fall into the false alarm OCD creates anymore, thereafter another OCD crisis would occur again.... it's frustrating!

I am not even the one standing close to the black thing, OCD is saying that it might cause harm to happen to the lady standing close to the black thing because the black thing might be coming out of the ground of that building and that I might be the one to have buried it under the ground. How could I have done that? I kept on doubting myself... it's ridiculous! Because it makes me feel like I don't know myself anymore and what I can do.

No harm of any sort occurred to anyone after the previous OCD crisis.

I have contacted NHS therapy and have been placed on waiting list...

What self help is making you feel better?

I would appreciate your prompt response. Cheers!

SCC1 profile image
SCC1 in reply toPrecious2023

Hi Precious2023.

I'm sorry I'm just getting back to you now. I didn't check my phone until now.

I try to let my thoughts "go". I have been trying not to help feed the thoughts, so they don't have a chance to become more than they really are.

It's very hard to do, especially on a regular basis, and tbh, I'm not always successful. But because I can't stand to go through the OCD, it's what I have to do to not let it win.

Keeping busy helps, too. When I am doing things, my OCD does not have a chance to show up most times.

All I can suggest to you, is to avert your attention to something else when you see a black spot, even if it's looking at a table or wall that doesn't have a spot on it. Something to distract you for a little bit. Then hopefully you won't have to concentrate on the black spot you have just seen. During that time, you will have "cut down" one more OCD episode.

The more you do this, the less your worry will be about any black spot you may see. Keep practicing!

I hope you start to feel better.

SCC1 profile image
SCC1 in reply toPrecious2023

I might have made a mistake in telling you to avert your attention to something else. People who have done ERP (behavioral therapy), I believe would say to look at the black spot and sit w/ the anxiety that you feel while seeing it. That way, each time you see one and look at it, the more your mind is "trained" to accept that there are black spots, and you won't have to be fearful of them or feel like you have to do a compulsion to get rid of your fear.

I'm sorry if I confused you more by giving you two different methods to use. I am not all that familiar w/ ERP and only know what I do from people on this forum.

Maybe someone can clarify what the best thing to do is to help your fear. I think I gave you the wrong response the 1st time though. I really think this response now, is the right thing to do.

When you do see a therapist, ask them if they do ERP. That is the best method to use to help OCD.

Again, I'm so sorry.

Precious2023 profile image
Precious2023 in reply toSCC1

Thank you very much @SCCI

Since that 3 days ago, I did check the black spot a couple of times and also went to the church website to check videos of their recent services and noticed that there were many black stuff on the carpet in the entire building, others didn't give me any trigger except the above because of the shape..... intrusive thoughts asking why this particular spot is differently shaped which might because of that cause harm to that lady in the pic. It's really ridiculous!!!

And so my anxiety heighten, couldn't cope with it anymore.

Gnus profile image
Gnus

It's really hard to have these thoughts and to have to deal with them. I used to have OCD fears of contamination and causing harm but mostly that's under control now (never totally gone but just there in the background). I found what helped me a bit was to almost accept the OCD thoughts were there, but argue with them or confront them, e.g. so what if it was something bad or dirty on the floor, even if it was, it's not realistically going to harm anyone unless they eat it, and if they are eating something off the floor then that's their own problem, not yours! So I kind of say to my OCD: "So what? I don't think anything bad could possibly come from this bit of a mark on the carpet, and even if it did, it wouldn't be my fault in any way so why should I worry about it?". E.g. it might just be an earring that someone dropped, or a stain from a spilled drink or it could be any number of things. I hope you can get access to done therapy to help you, best of luck

Precious2023 profile image
Precious2023 in reply toGnus

Thanks Gnus for your helpful comments....I was trying to confront the OCD thought by saying the floor would be hover and cleaned anyway....but OCD coming again saying I might be the only seeing it.

OCD is always false at the end of the day. I have confirmed that most of the time with the compulsion s

WilliamG profile image
WilliamG

Could the spot on the carpet be a guitar pick?

Precious2023 profile image
Precious2023 in reply toWilliamG

Does a guitar pick look like that?

Definitely, the church have guitar

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