OCD having a supportive partner but recovering from abusive relationship and emotional abuse from childhood and struggling with guilt

[OCDlivrecovery]

Hi everyone, when I was 19 i got into a very toxic relationship that turned very abusive emotionally.. I was in it for 3 years and stayed in way to many years than I wanted because i lost my virginity to him and I grew up very religious. I felt stuck and no where to go, at the very end of that relationship I finally started making friends, and honestly enjoying life again. It only lasted about a month or two before I met my partner and fell head over hells from him.. He is an incredibly supportive partner who really is my best friend. But now my ocd and my anxious attachment is directed towards him so I find myself being incredibly upset about my past and how I truly did get treated like shit for years.. and realize it was not my fault and I did not deserve that. I also feel guilt for my whole past and i feel ashamed the way other men treated me compared to my partner now if that makes sense? I had to go no contact with my family because my mother has always been very emotionally abusive. Which is how I feel I got into a relationship with an arrogant, sexist, narc. in the first place. My therapist said anger and sadness is normal for cptsd survivors but it is hard to not almost turn it on myself (which i think is the ocd) and its crippling. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know. I feel guilty for things I cannot change and keep playing scenarios in my head. If anyone else can relate or has any advice on how to help please let me know

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My therapist recommended a book that I've found helpful. It's called Feeling Great, by Dr. David Burns. His guidance is very counterintuitive, not at all what I would have imagined.