Changing routine

[FirstResponder23]

It’s been a while since I’ve signed on, but I wanted to share my story as I know so many of us go through the same things.

I’ve learned over and over again in therapy what triggers ocd and things that create a loop back to tough times. For me, it seems to always be a perfect storm of falling ill (I’m okay, it was just a head cold, no Covid thankfully) and that spirals into me not taking my medicine daily because I’m consumed with wanting to feel better.

I have also had some MAJOR life changes recently. I moved out of my parents house and into an apartment with my girlfriend. The process I would say was extremely fast. We were waiting for her to get a full time job to start looking, and she did at the end of September. We have already made the move to find a place, go through the process of renting, and moving in.

So a combination of a change in my “normal” routine at my parents house, falling ill, and staying home from work for a few days has really created what my therapist calls a party invite for ocd.

I am, what I believe, at the tail end of my cold. And will be resuming work this week. So my hopes are that getting into a routine again will be helpful along with getting back on my medicine consistently. It is extremely hard because I want this to be an exciting time with my significant other, but instead I have been finding it hard to ge tour of bed, do things through the day, and be in the moment and present with her. I can feel ocd poking at all different angles and it’s exhausting. It hurts me because I don’t want it to be a negative experience for her because of my ocd. But she is amazing and supportive and understands.

Anyone out there experiencing anything the same know that I too am working hard to overcome this with you. And I know that with time these moments always pass. So you too, please stay focused and strong as we battle together. We know the game, and we can accomplish anything.

[MyOCD123]

Hi there! I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this. I also noticed that change in my routine often ends up worsening my OCD for a bit - even good change. I think part of that for me is that I like to control what I can since I can’t control the intrusive thoughts that are always bombarding me. It sounds like this is an exciting time in your life and you are so blessed to have the support and understanding of your girlfriend. Be gentle with yourself and allow for a little grace, having a constant bully in your head is hard enough. Do your best and take the time you need to heal up from your cold. Change is hard but keep pushing forward and not engage with those thoughts except to say “Maybe” or “That would suck”. You got this!!!!

[FirstResponder23 in reply to MyOCD123]

Thank you for those encouraging words. I’ve still been stuck since my post. Things have been better at nights and through the day at points, but it is the mornings that are still really rough. And I know of because I’m letting the ocd in, it’s just very hard to get a grasp on it because it plays such a role in my emotions. I’m powering through and trying to stay on top of it. Thank you again for your kind words and reminders.