Gaslighting: Hey all! I haven’t posted or... - My OCD Community

My OCD Community

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HELLNOCD profile image
13 Replies

Hey all! I haven’t posted or commented in a while as this holiday season and past month have been a doozy since my wife decided to walk out, but I wanted to take time before I head to my OCD support group to say a few things...

Though my marriage ended in flames and my OCD was largely to blame... I want to tell the contrary... my OCD was not too blame and my marriage ended in flames due to my wife’s inability to cope, her lack of communication, her lies, her affairs, her lack of empathy, and her gaslighting... she said that it was because of my OCD, that is hard to hear, but I know that it is an excuse.

What I’m trying to say is that you are not a burden and your condition is not an excuse... we are all human and we are all deserving! Personally, yes, my OCD was severe and it was taxing, but that is not a reason to abandon someone. I am happy to have my daughters! I’m fighting for full custody, but it’s at least agreed that she only gets one day and one overnight. Furthermore, I am proud to have been trained so well during treatment that I know how to react in a true crisis, and in a bizarre way I’m glad I had to utilize my tools so quickly.

Lastly, I want to touch on the title of this post... gaslighting. Now, gaslighting is cruel in general, but it is especially cruel for someone with OCD... this damn doubters disease. Be careful and trust yourself. I survived gaslighting, and because I remained calm and persistent and have the courts on my side I wore my wife down to openly admit to her actions... she admitted to me today that she had been lying to me for years, cheating on me, trying to push me, manipulating me, wanting to hurt me and exhaust me... I endured, and now she has relented. I am sad for her, but I have a sense of relief now having arrived at this juncture. What’s done is done, but if I survived it so can you!

I do not believe that this is what love or intimacy is destined to be for me, or anyone else suffering from OCD. I choose to believe in the goodness of people. I choose empathy. I choose forgiveness. I choose gratitude. I believe in love and I know that you all can attain beautiful companionship too. Everything is temporary, and this is but another trial I must endure.

Much love! - PT

13 Replies
Krickit6 profile image

Thank you so much for sharing, and I admire the clarity and gratitude with which you share your story! Best wishes to you!

HELLNOCD profile image
HELLNOCD in reply to Krickit6

Thank you for reading! You’re very welcome! Personally, sharing has always been a great mini-exposure, and a fantastic reminder of what I’ve gone through and the person I am. The only way out is through!

lml885 profile image

Great post. I am so sorry for all you have had to endure. I also have undergone psychological abuse similar to gaslighting and I have OCD and yes it is a terrible thing to have to go through. I am so sorry for the horrible way your wife has treated you. She doesn’t deserve you. May everything work out for you in your favor.

HELLNOCD profile image
HELLNOCD in reply to lml885

Thank you very much. Onward and upward!

Tcba profile image

You are an inspiration. Thanks for sharing. Keep up the good work.

HELLNOCD profile image
HELLNOCD in reply to Tcba

Awe, thank you. I am inspired by this community and everyone I’ve had the pleasure to work with and share struggles with.

Blue274 profile image

Aww! You are strong! Thank you for the encouragement!, you deserve happiness! in your life even if it means being alone. If you desire to he in another relationship make sure it is healthy for you. My OCD spiked really bad over the summer, so I know how horrible it can be to have your life turned upside down because of it. I am slowly but surely getting my life back on track, a different track that is because it is not the way it used to be anymore.

HELLNOCD profile image
HELLNOCD in reply to Blue274

Thank you! I agree with you. Also, it sounds like you have a solid attitude about moving forward yourself. Acceptance is key.

Blue274 profile image
Blue274 in reply to HELLNOCD

Yes, I do have a good perspective on where to go from hereandcthe only way is up for me because I am a natural born fighter! ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE! in dealing OCD. Take Care!

Blue274 profile image
Blue274 in reply to Blue274

Sorry 4 typos I type waay too fast sometimes. LOL!, but in dealing with OCD only the STRONG SURVIVE!

bab5 profile image

This is unbelievable. You are extremely inspirational. Thank you for having the courage to share your remarkable story.

Best of luck to you.

HELLNOCD profile image
HELLNOCD in reply to bab5

You’re very welcome, and thank you for your kind words. It’s been so important to me to share and be a voice because so many of us suffer in silence and I’m done with it! This community is so amazing and I think it’s important to expose what I face to show others that we’re not alone and there isn’t anything to fear or be ashamed of... it’s hard, but it will all be better. Thanks again! Much love!

bab5 profile image
bab5 in reply to HELLNOCD

Of course, man! I have enjoyed reading your posts and, especially, this latest update. The way that you keep a positive attitude is truly the stuff dreams are made of.

Many of us do suffer in silence, but that is precisely why this wonderful community was created!

Thanks again for sharing your story with everyone.

Hearing that it will all be better from YOU makes me believe!

Much love to you.

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