OCD Doubts

I have doubts about things that I have told my husband.

OCD makes me doubt and I give into it, by repeating it again.

Once OCD sees that I have been giving into doubts, it just keeps giving me more doubts of other things.

Thus, I end up repeating things to my husband, and OCD creates more new doubts.

It is a cycle which does not end.

My husband says to me to stop giving into OCD, but I have hard time resisting with my high anxiety.

I have learned a valuable lesson, that is not to give into OCD doubts. I need to sit with the anxiety, and resist the compulsion.

It feels so hard to do therapy sometimes.

I feel like it is a struggle for me, especially initially, when the thought occurs.

I hope we as OCD sufferers have the courage, and inner strength, to do our therapy.

[Sophie30x]

I have confession ocd where I have to confess everything to my partner. Things she doesn’t need to know and it upsets her. I’m trying to learn to not give in and confess because it gets more and more then. Hope you’re ok.

[3BirdLover in reply to Sophie30x]

I went through this to the extreme a couple of years ago. I confessed EVERYTHING to my husband that came into my mind. Stuff that was fleeting awful thoughts through my head. It felt real and that I HAD to confess to him. The more I did it, the worse it got. I thought I was losing my mind, but the guilt was horrible. Things that were years and years old, I felt like I had to tell him, which "normally" it wouldn't bother me at all.

It's soooooooooooo hard to stop this, but we have to. Although the anxiety is very strong, we have to resist it.

Now it's settled down. It's worth resisting.

[Sophie30x in reply to 3BirdLover]

Thankyou so much for this I know I have to stay strong! At the minute I was trying to remember someone’s name that I dated for no reason! And I couldn’t think of her surname so I found out on Facebook now I feel like I have to tell her what I’ve done. It feels like I’ve cheated or something! But I haven’t have i? 😩 it would just upset her. There is nothing in it just a silly name I needed to know.

[3BirdLover in reply to Sophie30x]

Try to resist this compulsion. Give yourself permission to drop it. It helps me to think that I am going use this as a chance to resist temptation to compulse. It seems to help if I give myself permission and that there is a good reason not to do it. Stay strong!!!!!!

[Sophie30x in reply to 3BirdLover]

Thankyou so much. Take care. I’ll not give in! We can beat this!!!! Xx

[Bobby5000 in reply to 3BirdLover]

To 3Bridlover, I think many men can be forgiving as long as the issue has been resolved. Sorry to switch to a question, what's the best way to handle things when my wife is in one of these OCD situations focusing on a past event or talking about something now, usually somewhat illusory.

[3BirdLover in reply to Bobby5000]

First she does needs to be seeing a therapist that is well trained in OCD. It is wasted time going if the therapist isn’t versed in OCD because reasoning with a person that has this disorder is fruitless.

It would also be helpful if you were involved in her therapy … maybe not right away but some time in the process. It would be helpful to know what to say, understanding why she is doing this, and tools to be able to help both yourself as well as her. I wish I had known at that time when I was obsessing and compulsing what was going on.

The more I “confessed” the worse I got. I myself had to learn to sit quiet and calm myself, and learning other tools to help myself, but unfortunately it came much later …

None of the things I “confessed” about was legit. They were things in my mind that normal people think all the time and goes in and out of their heads. We grab a fleeting thought twisting it until we think we have done something horrible, and it will stick there driving us crazy. We will do anything to get rid of the crippling anxiety and guilt.

My poor husband ….

I’m not comfortable giving you concrete advice on what to say or do specifically other than the therapy suggestion. She may have “harm OCD” or “Scrupulosity OCD” like I do. I don’t know.

Does she see someone? Is she on meds?

[Greekdude]

I am so sad that you are keep battling against OCD .You are such a good as well as helpful individual . One year ago , I started my treatment and I thought that overcomming OCD was unachievable goal for me . Now , I feel that OCD was not so much difficult task to overcome and it wasnt so much of an issue afterwards . Give your everything in treatment and you will overcome it too .

[Hidden in reply to Greekdude]

I am so glad that you are doing better from OCD.

I remember that you were struggling.

Sadly, I am still going through severe OCD.

I try to use some techniques in tackling this illness.

The anxiety gets so high and it becomes unbearable.

It is really difficult living with OCD.

There is lots of suffering having OCD.

Thanks for your kind words, concern and support for me.

I wish you good health.

[Greekdude in reply to Hidden]

I cannot remember if you tried imaginary exposure . If you do not , you should do it , it is very important . Wish you a good and speedy recovery .

[Hidden in reply to Greekdude]

I have tried imaginary exposure for OCD, with a therapist, at Rogers Memorial in Wisconsin. It did not work out for me. Thanks for your advice and well wishes.

[Greekdude in reply to Hidden]

Try a new therapist if this does not work out and you have the money , again new therapist etc .Also read all books available .One mistake that I found in treatments is that most of them push you too hard .

I tried a different way . I did it with my own pace .

My treatment began in December 2019 and I had a fully recovery until June 2020 .

I will suggest to you something else . You should rest and stop doing any form of treatment for OCD, for example one month. Then, begin treatment both with a therapist and at home with a book and give all your energy to that purpose for an extended period of time . This sacrifice is worth it and you probably know it .

For example, if I had to study or work and do treatment at the same time I would have not recovered from OCD .The only task that I had last year is learning English and getting my proficiency certificate .

Last but not least, you are quite lucky- you have a husband .

I was on my own , I did not have a girlfriend and my brother was making fun of me when I had appointments with my therapist . My parents are old so they did not want to learn anything about OCD . The situation was a bit hostile .

I would be happy if you send me a message telling me how you are doing with your treatment .

I believe in you !You can do it !

[Bobby5000]

As a spouse hopefully I can add from our perspective. Men like to solve things and to see progress. So if you're saying I'm doing A, B, etc and making progress, it can help.

I think being busy really helps a lot. We have a close friend with OCD. She recently got a demanding job and is a lot better. If you have a tough job and spend 8-10 hours on demanding tasks, you'll find that your mind like everything else gets tired. In contrast, seeing this person inactive, I can see her anxiety and somewhat OCD gets a good deal worse. Unfortunately after a busy life and now retirement, my wife has time to ruminate and worry at the worst time.

Exercise helps.

In terms of therapy, my wife tends not to engage, and tries to minimize programs and present a pleasant image instead of solving problems. So we've had several therapists without success.