(note that I just turned 16 so please dont delete this)
I appreciate any sort of reply - I have posted on 6 forums so far and have received little to nothing - so if you can offer anything please tell me.
For the past 3 months or so, I've developed swallowing sensorimotor (somatic ocd). Basically this means I've been extremely hyperaware of the act of swallowing which is usually subconscious. This is all day every second of the day, saliva starts developing in my mouth and this forces me to swallow it every 10-15 seconds.
(I have been recommended to hold 'in' the saliva for as long as possible - although I cannot do this as I get an 'urge' to swallow in my throat - which can actually get pretty bad to experience.)
My main problem is that I've been receiving mixed messages: some people say not to swallow while others say to swallow whenever you feel you need to. I tend to agree that swallowing is not a compulsion as you cannot really 'hold in' any swallows. Again, I need an extra viewpoint on this.
Because of this, life has become 24/7 torment and torture for me. At times I have felt disabled also. I am stuck in a dark abyss and I am unsure how to get out. I have been unable to pursue any of my hobbies. I am suffering from chronic insomnia during the night because of this somatic OCD.
I have tried to accept the swallowing although this is becoming increasingly difficult for me to do so. During the past week or so the anxiety and torment has become increasingly worse and I am utterly confused as to what to do.
School is about to start and this problem has absolutely slashed my grades and if I do not get the help I need it will probably be like this this semester.
I don't know what to do, I know I need to actively try and get out of this darkness but I am unsure how as everything I have tried has almost always ultimately failed. Just getting one solid night of sleep would be a dream for me...
If anyone has any sort of feedback or would want to talk to me more in regards to this please reply to this post.
I just want my life back... I am confused as to what to do next. But I will work to death to get this under control but I just don't know what to do.