Accepting OCD

How do I finally accept my ocd, so that I can begin to get treatment. Because I’ve been told on the online ocd group I joined that it sounds like I’m having a hard time with doing ERP on my own because I post a lot on the group seeking reassurance and that I need to take responsibility for my ocd: which I thought I had but now I don’t know. So, now I may need to get an ocd therapist, and I’m worried about the cost because I’m currently unemployed and looking for jobs but I don’t have a ton of money and am on Medi-Cal through anthem blue cross since I live in California and am unemployed. Any suggestions or tips,

[alyssuh]

I understand the struggle about finding a therapist 😕 but i feel a way to maybe allow yourself to accept it is when you wake up in the morning say something that makes you acknowledge that ocd will (unfortunately) be a part of your day. And whenever you do a ritual or have an obsessive thought, really try to have yourself be aware of it and whats its making you do, like look for reassurance and don’t do it. I hope that helps a bit. If i think of other ways i’ll be sure to let you know because i feel like i know more, i’m just having a mental block 🙃

[Hidden in reply to alyssuh]

I know that the obsession with putting on too much deodorant and changing my pajamas is me being afraid I’ll sweat. But at the same time I don’t know if it’s gotten worse because I’m not working and have more time to think about it. But, I do have a counselor but she’s just a regular one I go see to talk to, she isn’t specialized in ocd. But, I would like to maybe do some type of treatment since I’ve tried and obviously failed at doing the ERP on my own.

[alyssuh in reply to Hidden]

I could see how it’d get worse with not working. I know for myself when i have a lot of down time, thats when the obsessions and rituals seem to get worse. Its good you at least have someone to talk to AND you’re attempting erp. Hopefully soon you can find yourself someone specialized and it be good for you

[Hidden in reply to alyssuh]

Yeah I think for some reason if I’m not busy or working my mind just starts going there. But I’d either like to get someone who specializes in it or a treatment center; so I can just work on myself.

[Selesnya]

You are certainly doing some things wrong, and that's OK. I you started off completely wrong, and you are now 80% wrong, that's an improvement. Living with OCD is a process that takes practice. The other people who are giving you advice that you could make better progress with a therapist are right, you could make better progress with someone to really show you the steps and tailor them to you. However, you absolutely can do this on your own. It takes repetition and still being wrong a lot, but slowly you can get there.

This may seem unrelated, but it absolutely is not. Go read A Liberated Mind by Steven Hayes. The ACT methods that he outlines have been extremely helpful to me and are a distillation of what you would likely get out of therapy.

I'll try to write more, but I have a busy day today.

[Selesnya in reply to Selesnya]

And also at the start of fighting back against OCD there are some very important OCD books to look at. There are some good suggestions in the "Resources to Share" topics.

[LuvSun]

You have already started taking the responsibility of accepting you have OCD and seeking help by posting on this site. It’s good you have a counselor to help you and there are a ton of OCD self help books available. Perhaps you could share these with your counselor and work through them together. You could even get them through a library. You can get better!

[Hidden in reply to LuvSun]

Sometimes I feel like maybe I need an ocd therapist or a treatment center

[LuvSun in reply to Hidden]

I used to think that myself until I finally did get an appt with a Therapist who specializes in OCD but after a few sessions I realized that she was not guiding me any more than what I already knew and had read about myself- basically the work you put into it has to come from yourself and you basically become your own therapist. (Thus saving a lot of money!). However some people need the extra guidance so working with a Therapist is helpful. I’ve helped myself by just reading whatever I could and this forum as well.

[Hidden in reply to LuvSun]

I’ve tried reading and it’s just hard for me to do it on my own. I’ve always been a person that needs that little extra help or guidance with anything I do.

[Hidden]

Or do an outpatient treatment if I could if it wasn’t too expensive. Since I have a decent amount saved up.

[Hidden]

You are a wonderful person ' please allow others advice that is judgemental by calling you out for being 'wrong ' as a person who is taking to you and not speaking with you. Maybe we all have our own way of communicating with each other...I take what I need and leave the rest. I've learned to use I statements . Remember how beautiful you are inside and out. Johnny

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. But I do want to get better it’s just hard to know what I need at this time.

[Hidden]

Good luck.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. I just need to figure out if my insurance would cover any of it since I’m on Medi-Cal.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

And on top of it my counselor thinks that I may have high functioning autism. Which could explain why I have such a hard time driving especially changing lanes and merging and why I get such anxiety when I drive.

[NovaOllie]

Have you checked with Medí-Cal to see what your mental health coverage is? The key is finding a therapist that is well trained and experienced with ERP. The other therapy that is helpful is Acceptance Commitment Therapy or ACT. Depending on where in California you are, the large research universities will have ERP therapists in their Psychiatry department. You might be best to start there, you could have both your psychiatrist and your therapist in the same clinic. You will probably need a psychiatrist for medicine. Research has shown that therapy in coordination with antidepressants is the best course of treatment for OCD. Not to say some won't get better with only therapy or only meds, but for most it is a combination that works. If your insurance doesn't cover mental health I recommend asking your parents or other family member if they are able to help you cover the costs.

Most state plans have some mental health coverage. I'd be surprised if California didn't.

Good luck, the sooner you get started, the sooner you can start on the road to recovery.

[Hidden in reply to NovaOllie]

Well I’ve got to wait until Friday to talk to my counselor because she thinks I may have high functioning autism.

[Hidden in reply to NovaOllie]

Yeah. Well I’m already on 10 mg of lexapro for depression so maybe the case is that they need to increase my doseage. But i have Medi-Cal through anthem blue cross.

[NovaOllie]

Depending on how severe your OCD is, usually the highest recommended dosage is required to help. Treating depression is a completely different thing to treating OCD. Also, high functioning autism or Asperger's is sometimes comorbid with OCD. Just an FYI- a talk therapist is not usually helpful with treating OCD and can make the OCD worse, depending on what they are focusing on. You need an OCD therapist. If you are outlaying money for this therapist, consider taking the money you are spending there and putting tiward an OCD therapist. If your insurance is covering this therapist they will cover an OCD therapist.

[Hidden in reply to NovaOllie]

Yes, my medi-cal is covering my counselor. So, would I need a referral from my doctor to see an ocd therapist or can I just call my insurance and ask?

[Hidden in reply to NovaOllie]

Really I didn’t know autism could be comorbid with ocd. If the autism can get treated can it help the ocd calm down?

[NovaOllie in reply to Hidden]

I am not a doctor or therapist. However, my gut feeling from what you have said on

here is that the OCD is the relevant condition to treat right now. Neither are curable only treatable.

[Hidden in reply to NovaOllie]

Thank you.

[NovaOllie]

You should call the clinic to ask if they take your insurance. Where in California are you located? If southern Cal then I would look at UCLA. You don't want to travel any further than necessary.

[Hidden in reply to NovaOllie]

No I live in Northern California about an hour north of Sacramento.

[NovaOllie]

Then you may need to drive into Sacramento. There are most likely therapists there that do ERP.

[Hidden in reply to NovaOllie]

Yes or probably do them via Skype because I have horrible anxiety when driving especially into big cities like Sacramento

[Mumofhocd]

Hi there,

I've just googled 'Sacramento OCD therapists' and it looks like you're in luck: OCD Sacramento is an affiliate of the International OCD Foundation (a not-for-profit organisation) and it specifically says one of its founders (Dr Robin Zasio) developed the OCD Sacramento Foundation "with the goal of providing additional resources to the community who may not have the financial or other resources to access information or treatment". So hopefully they can at least tell you what you're entitled to and what you might be able to access (they might also know who offers Skype consultations). They talk specifically about using CBT including ERP so they are genuine OCD experts. On the website it also says there's a support group every Monday 7-9pm at the Sutter Center for Psychiatry 7700 Folsom Blvd Sacramento, not sure if this would be too hard for you to gt to. (It says contact Jim at 916.223.6541.) There's also a link to this directory which should be able to tell you if there's a provider near you: iocdf.org/ocd-finding-help/...

Best of luck, I'm sure you'll be able to get the help you need. You've got the ball rolling now by asking for advice on here - there is so much expertise and help and support on this forum! People really want to help. Stay in touch and let us know how you get on

Here's the link to the homepage: ocdsacramento.org/

[Hidden in reply to Mumofhocd]

Yeah I just have really bad anxiety when driving especially into a big city like Sacramento; so that’s why I was wondering if they could do Skype sessions.

[Mumofhocd]

Hopefully on that list you might be able to find someone in Sacramento (or somewhere else?) who does Skype sessions. Would public transport be an option? eg taking the train (and then maybe an uber if you're worried about finding your way there)?

[Hidden in reply to Mumofhocd]

I mean there isn’t a train that goes from yuba city to Sacramento. But there are buses that go to sac but I don’t know if it would exactly go to the center. And I’m worried about how expensive Uber might be