OCD like symptoms, health anxiety etc.

[ErraticAspie]

Increasingly struggling to cope with the above, with co-morbid Autism (Asperger’s Syndrome) and treated hypothyroidism. Massive worry at the moment is eye movement, I notice everything in my field of vision and move my eyes, cannot focus on a tv because of it. This then makes me anxious and become tense. I then do things like look out of the corner of my eye and then move my head to where my eye is looking, which scares me because I doubt whether I should simply turn my head or move my eyes, not do both. I then get scared about the possible damage that this could have caused me. I am basically aware that all this is nonsensical drivel, but I cannot control it when the anxiety starts. Not sure if CBT will work on me since I am wholly aware and am in fact poorly self CBTing as part of my adaptive coping strategy. For example, I get worried about looking out of my peripheral vision so I then make myself do this in order to demonstrate that there is nothing wrong or problematic with this. But this then starts the thought I don’t need to do this, and so stop myself. In a sense, the OCD in my case is a compulsion to demonstrate that all the anxieties I have are irrational. But this is itself compulsive! This is consuming my life at the moment. I have had tendencies towards behaviour paradigmatic of OCD before, but basically the problems began after initiation of Levothyroxine. I suspect that I would be a VERY difficult case for CBT. I know there is good research suggestion a specific subgroup of OCD that may have immunological basis, but getting to anyone who recommends medical investigation for the symptoms of Thyroid and mental health together hasn’t been forthcoming. Getting increasingly desperate.

Thanks in advance

[ErraticAspie]

I should add, I have had different instances of the same thing, namely an intense need to demonstrate anxieties irrational/test to show they are impossible with different thoughts/ contexts before, but nearly all of the OCD resembling symptoms take the form of, anxiety about X comes up, struggle to tolerate possibility of X, either devise some way show showing the X is not the case/that X would not do what so am worried about (often by repeating a bodily action such as eye movements to show that it can’t hurt me). So it seems to me the core issue is my a) radically heightened state of anxiety and awareness that makes everyday things a massive issue, b) a compulsive need to show my own anxieties irrational or impossible.