Hello ,you can check my profile to learn the things i went thru possibly depression,anxiety,OCD.But i dont what this is, everytime i learn about a disorder i think i have it its so stressful my hands start to get wet and all of that.Tonight i learnt about a disorder called Somatic Symptom Disorder,i clicked on a video and this guy was explaining whenever he had to do a task like study or something his physical pain would kick in (thats what the disorder does it causes big physical pain) and this school year i didnt study at all and i feel like i have the symptoms which i probably dont,but now i know its going to stuck in my head and confuse me alot.I dont why i am this kind of person im only 17 and my life feels to an end ,i feel like i have no future,nothing i mean how could a person function like this.My brain is foggy all the time,i dont enjoy things anymore,i swear to god even food doesnt taste the same,like my taste buds have been damaged 60% and all i feel like its a small portion to know if its salty or sweet.I dont know what i want or where i want to be.I dont think i can have a normal life.I ask my self why people enjoy things where in the end nothing matters.I have created this concept of myself which i dont want to be.I feel like im always going to be desparate always in need of others.I dont know why but i cant hold on anymore.I want to be like my friends not overthinking,not feeling constantly tired , i want to have motivation , i want to enjoy going out.I dont want to stay alone the rest of my life.I have all this burden i want to let it go but it seems i cant.I have so many things to say but when they ask me How Are You Feeling?I dont know even how to respond,words get lost in my brain and all i say :Im okay.This is not healthy , i cant even study anymore its hard to focus. I dont know what im going to do.Im really lost!!!
Lost: Hello ,you can check my profile to... - My OCD Community
Lost
Hi wanttobefree, it sounds like your in a hard place right now. And I'm so sorry you have to go through this! I also know what it's like to fight mental illness as a teen as my OCD started when I was around 14. There were days when I prayed to die. I started having terrible thoughts about hurting people, things I never wanted to do. I even started thinking that I had acted on my thoughts even tho I had not. But when I was 17 my mom discovered I had OCD and I did therapy ( erp and cbt) and I am so much better! Do you have a therapist and are you doing erp for your OCD? I know there is hope for you and you can live a great life again! You deserve to get better. Feel free to ask any questions and I'll do my best to answer them. We're here for you! Your not alone!
Seems like your OCD is like mine, identical i would say.Same thoughts.No i've never been to a therapist sadly.But i seek to get one!Thank you for your response <3
I actually never got a therapist either cause we just weren't able to at the time but I worked through Jonathan abramowitz's book called Getting Over OCD. It was extremely helpful. If your able to get a therapist definitely do so cause I'm sure it would make therapy a whole lot easier. But maybe this workbook could give you a head start on therapy and help you find more peace while your looking for a therapist.
Eveytime i try to explain my thoughts,feelings,problems tp my parents i always stutter.I just cant and they wont understand.Thats one of the reasons i've never been to therapy.Also i'll check that book.Thank you so much <3
Is there anyone you trust that could help you talk to your parents?
I vent sometimes with my sister,she suffers from depression but we rarely talk with our parents.Even when we do its just weird and we never come up with a solution.
Hi wanttobefree, sounds like your in a tough spot. Honestly the best advice I can give you right now is keep reaching out to others with OCD and learn all you can about this disorder and how to treat it.
I hope things will get better for you soon.
So sorry your at this point right now. It sounds like you need to get on the right medications and start a php or iop program. It was a life changer for me. It is super tiring and super lonely to have ocd for me. Just reading your post I was feeling your pain and starting to get scared I was going to pick up your ocd thought. It is the fear that causes it. Hang in there and never stop trying to get better.
Sorry my post made you feel that way, i completely understand.Everytime something bad is mentioned such as disease,problems i always get anxiety and it feels like i have it.I super happy that php program helped you.I hope it works for me too if i try it,and i understand the feeling being lonely its super heavy but you are not alone.Thank you so much for replying <3
Constantly tired
Harm OCD
My OCD is ruining my life. 
Hope!!
Help please
