Military

[hopeandcourage94]

Oof. I met with my therapist over the phone yesterday. The subject of military came up several times, and she assigned me homework to call a recruiter and to truly determine whether or not this chapter of my life was truly closed.

The recruiter called me back, and we had a short conversation. I revealed that I did have OCD tendencies (I outright told him I had OCD and was prescribed medication for anxiety in the past), and was informed that this was a disqualifying condition.

It saddens me, greatly. I knew this was probably not going to happen for me, but I regret not joining after high school. I suppose my OCD, though undiagnosed at that time and dormant, may have been discovered before leaving for basic training and would have disqualified me anyway.

My significant other is a Marine, and we had discussed the possibility of me joining. He has always been a champion for me to follow this call to serve.

You know, I’m sure this is a blessing. I still get to volunteer with the USO and I have a strong desire to help veterans once they return to civilian life. Maybe I could be a counselor for veterans?

I’m sorry for the long post. This realization has left me feeling weak and of little use to anyone. I wish I was stronger and didn’t deal with anxiety/OCD off and on.

[Hidden]

It's not a question of not being strong enough. This is just how you're wired, like some people are nearsighted or left-handed. They have their list of disqualifying conditions and who knows whether they make sense or not? It's probably mostly determined by their insurance carriers. I have gay male friends who haven't been able to donate blood for decades even though there is absolutely zero chance they have HIV. There's nothing wrong with them or their blood, there's something wrong with that one-size-fits-all rule.

There's an enormous need for counselors to help veterans and who better than you, who knows from the inside what anxiety feels like? I know this is was your dream and that it was a huge loss hearing that recruiter today, but there are many different ways to serve your country and it sounds like you have a huge heart and will do a lot of good, no matter what.

Still, I know you're grieving now. Sending hugs. You were brave to call the recruiter. Be kind to yourself as you take in this disappointing news.

[MvmntXprt]

I’m an officer in the Army and I have been working through OCD for 10 years or so. I can tell you that if I had a counselor available to me that understood the struggles of OCD, it would be a much better fit than a general psychologist or psychiatrist.

[MothFir]

Sorry to hear that you are dealing with this disappointment. All I can say is that the world is full of stories of people who set out to do one thing, suffered setbacks, and ended up making real differences (and finding happiness) with the lives they ended up with. It hurts in the short term, but you know you are not really "of little use;" you just have to adapt and find your true calling. Take it easy on yourself as you work through this!