Bad relapse and OCD consuming my life - My OCD Community

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Bad relapse and OCD consuming my life

sportsfan01 profile image
16 Replies

So I’m not really sure how to write these, really this is my first time telling my story or problems on here. Usually I just read post and respond to some. So for the past few months I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression from that anxiety on some level. But, for the past few weeks I’ve really had problems. I’ve recently been diagnosed, though now I realize that my past has been riddled with ocd. Lately my fear is going crazy or losing control. Fear that I don’t have ocd I have something else like schizophrenia or something. I have awful obsessions that bring me great distress and fear. I’m not sure if there’s a way out of this. I’m in between therapist and I’ve never done erp or cbt. I’m not sure how I can get help. It’s hard to even get up and go to work, spend time with my family. All I want to do is sleep and that’s it. I’m not really sure what I’m getting at with this post, I guess I’m just looking for some help and reassurance that things will be okay. If those that read this could pray for me I would be so grateful.

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16 Replies
sportsfan01 profile image
sportsfan01

I hear you bro, I am trying, I know I’m not doing enough. But I have been reading my Bible and trying to make sure I focus on God’s power and not the problems I have. Thanking God for these problems because they bring me closer to him. Some days it can be tougher than others

in reply to sportsfan01

I know some days are really tough. These problems aren't from Him though, He paid for your freedom and to have life and have it more abundantly. He is such a good Father.

Luna-blade profile image
Luna-blade in reply to sportsfan01

I totally feel what you’re going through. I have had ocd since I was 12 now I’m 41. I have started taking meds when I was 30. I have pure O and I’m on zoloft 150 mg venlaxifine 75 and Depakine chrono 500 mg. I had a relapse due to the unavailability of my meds during the crisis in Lebanon. Now I’m on my meds again but the meds never helped me 100% I still have intense fear, obsessions and panick attacks. I pray daily so that Jesus could be by my side and by everyone’s who’s suffering from illness be it physical or mental. Pure O is hell and it affected my personal life and my work too though not my education. The only way of success other than faith is to keep your brain relaxed! Sleep helps a lot and relaxation works great too! Tc.

sportsfan01 profile image
sportsfan01 in reply to Luna-blade

Thank you so much for the encouragement and sharing your story. I’m glad you able to get back on your meds. Glad you’re doing better!

Luna-blade profile image
Luna-blade in reply to sportsfan01

Thank you 🙏🏻

sportsfan01 profile image
sportsfan01

I agree. I’m just gonna keep praying and keep giving thanks

alexandraisobsessed profile image
alexandraisobsessedIOCDF Advocate

Hey sportsman!

ERP is definitely the gold standard OCD treatment. If you're able, I would encourage you to find a therapist who specializes in OCD to help you get through this. The IOCDF has a wonderful directory you can utilize in your search.

Fear of developing a different mental illness is a theme I hear a lot about. It's not one that I've experienced, but it's not an uncommon one at all. You're not alone at all.

Things can absolutely get better. I used to be paralyzed by fears and ruminations about various themes such as contamination, harm and taboo themes (just to name a few). I have had periods in my life where I was rock-bottom depressed, couldn't leave my home due to fear and showered upwards of 5 times a day. My OCD was debilitating to say the least. With ERP and hard work on my part I now lead a beautiful values-filled life and I bounce back from my bad days much more easily.

If I can do it I know you can! Sending you love today.

sportsfan01 profile image
sportsfan01

Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement

StandinStill profile image
StandinStill

Hi Sportsfan,

I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone . We are all hear for you , and so many of us can relate. That’s what makes this online community so great.

I’m not gonna lie, I’m struggling today quite bad. Today is not so much OCD as it’s my severe depression and sadness over recent losses of loved ones. I’m really struggling, but every time I come here, there is always someone here to lift us up .

I can’t even find an OCD specialist anywhere near me at all . But this site, and everyone here keeps me going. Keeps me knowing we have each other .

Please keep looking for that help with ERP and other treatments, but always know we are here for you .

Lots of prayers to you my friend, and always reach out.

All my best

sportsfan01 profile image
sportsfan01 in reply to StandinStill

Thank you so much! I really appreciate the support. I’m just holding on to my faith in Christ and find that as long as I focus my thoughts and feelings on him that I can weather any storm.

StandinStill profile image
StandinStill in reply to sportsfan01

That’s all we can do my friend. You’re very welcome 👍

F3ch profile image
F3ch

Hi. That's how I'm feeling. It is a terrible illness

Overthinker84 profile image
Overthinker84

I'm not a religious person but I can speak from experience. What you're going through is totally normal with OCD! You're not going crazy and you won't go crazy I promise. I've been dealing with mine for most of my life. Lots of counseling and medications. Long story short, I've had my ups and downs over the years and one thing that stayed consistent was you always get better....as long as you look for help. I relapse a lot because of alcohol. But I know if I didn't drink it wouldn't happen as often. We will have our struggles but at the end of the day you know who you are and what you want in life. That's your core. That's what I hold onto to help me.

JamesTaylorLover profile image
JamesTaylorLover

ERP is the proven treatment for OCD. Thus, I really feel like you would benefit from it, preferably with a therapist, but on your own using a good book such as Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by Jonathan Grayson. Remember that the goal is to accept uncertainty-you may have schizophrenia, you may go crazy. None of us can be sure it wont happen to us. I find talking back to OCD very useful. something like "yes OCD you may be right. I could have schizophenia. I cant know. I have to accept the risk that it may be true. I am here to tell you there is help. I have suffered from OCD since I was a child, but didnt have a name for it. I am in my early 60s now and did not have a proper diagnosis or treatment until 4 years ago. I felt like was in a deep dark pit with no possibility of anything being any different. But with treatment, and perhaps medication, it can get so much better. Hang in there-it is so worth it to get better.

LISAFOUR profile image
LISAFOUR in reply to JamesTaylorLover

I agree the man's book is great

LISAFOUR profile image
LISAFOUR

I'm praying for you and all who suffer . GOD BLESS YOU

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