New here / self sabotage?

[lavender9201]

Hi all! I’m new to this community. I’ve had OCD for all of my life (I now know). I had done traditional/psychoanalytical talk therapy for years, but i realized it really wasn’t helping much. I started ERP and I’m really seeing how it does work (even though it’s so so hard!). It’s made more of an impact in a short time than talk therapy did for years. At the same time, I think I’m worried that feeling better will lead to me sabotaging myself somehow, even though I know i don’t tend to have a self-sabotaging quality. How do others watch out for self-sabotage? Is it important to think about in others’ journeys towards coping with OCD? Or...perhaps is this secretly a sneaky OCD thought about OCD?

[Selesnya]

This seems like part of the slippery path toward being sure of the right way to treat OCD (and the start of another OCD obsession).

The best advice that I can offer is to be kind to yourself while you do ERP. It is undeniably difficult and you will do things wrong/suboptimally many times. This really doesn’t matter as long as you keep going and trying. What would you tell a family member or friend? If it is different than what you tell yourself, take a look and ask why you aren’t being kinder to yourself.

I try to keep this list in mind when approaching ERP:

iocdf.org/expert-opinions/2...

Maybe you’ll find it helpful as well.

[lavender9201 in reply to Selesnya]

Thank you so much for your reply. This list is very helpful! I discussed the idea with my ERP therapist and he said just about the same thing.

[Hidden]

I would like to welcome you the OCD Support Network.

We are here to support each other, through this difficult journey of living with OCD.

You can post about your feelings, symptoms, advices, sharing online articles on OCD,

treatment suggestions.

We basically give each other hope and courage.

[lavender9201 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you - it is so helpful!

[Mabelocd]

I have had to come to grips with the knowledge that, although OCD has been a torture and a ball and chain all my life, it is all I know. When ERP improves it, part of me gets frightened. Who will I be without OCD and how much more will I need to expect from myself?

[lavender9201]

I can sympathize with that. Best wishes and thoughts to you!