suffering from OCD, with no support. Narcissistic mother

[OCDlivrecovery]

hi everyone I’m not sure if I’m doing this right but I’m really looking for someone, anyone really to talk to about the OCD I’ve been suffering with. I’ve in silence in different ways my whole life but this time I need to talk to someone because it’s all too much. I think I suffer from pure O OCD, and Relationship ocd, and religious OCD. I grew up catholic with a covert narcissistic mother who couldn’t handle her feelings, which as a result cried a lot while I was growing up. My thoughts are so crippling i can be left sitting all day on past actions and if I did something wrong, something to feel guilty about. Does anyone have any tips because when I start to obsess about details it just gets worse.

[LuvSun]

Welcome OCDlivrecovery! May I ask have you seen anyone for your OCD?

[OCDlivrecovery in reply to LuvSun]

yes I took the Yale-brown obsessive compulsive scale and tested very high with my therapist. It’s also something i noticed I’ve had since I was little having to do things a certain numbers of times, spinning around and again to feel “just right”

[LuvSun in reply to OCDlivrecovery]

So are you currently in therapy with someone now? Just wondering if it has been helping you at all?

[OCDlivrecovery in reply to LuvSun]

yes but we she hasn’t helped much yet because I just started seeing her six months ago. But the obsessive thoughts are always there, and has been impacting everything

[LuvSun]

Well I and everyone else on this forum can relate to you. OCD is not fun but it doesn’t have to ruin your life. I think you will discover from reading other’s replies and doing a lot of research and reading about OCD that it can be controlled. From what I’ve learned is how you respond to the thoughts is how you don’t let it get the best of you. Basically you have to understand that it’s the OCD thoughts that keep popping in your mind and eventually you have to learn how to not listen to them and let them rule your life. Understood easier said then done 😔. I am a work in progress having dealt with my OCD over 40 yrs ( mostly on my own) but I am still able to carry on and enjoy life. There is plenty of help out there - you can get better.

[OCDlivrecovery in reply to LuvSun]

do you mind me asking what kind of ocd you have? And what are some good ways to redirect your thoughts when you feel like you need to go into details? I am on 20mg prozac now but doesn't seem to help much

[LuvSun in reply to OCDlivrecovery]

I have contamination, hyper responsibility issues. I have been taking Prozac for many years. At one point I was taking 80mg/day but now I take 40 mg/day. It seems to help a bit because I really seem worse when I haven’t been taking it. When the thoughts come I try to just dismiss them as OCD, but it’s not always easy.

[lml885]

I have similar issues. OCD and narcissism can be related it seems. My mother is the same way. It is almost like obsessive compulsive personality disorder. I mean my mom has her good points but she nitpicks and hoards and perseverates about stuff to the enth degree. She makes things about herself and triangulated between me and my siblings. EMDR therapy is helping me and it may help you. I suggest going low contact as family can sabotage therapy. Individuals like this rarely change significantly. EMDR and trauma therapy can help with forms of OCD. Meds help even opiates like tramadol but they can be addictive. REgular SSRI’s haven’t worked for me. Meditation also helps with OCD and ERp therapy

[SCC1 in reply to lml885]

I feel the same way about my mother. She has been this way all my life and nothing has changed, except that I think she has gotten worse over the yrs.

I had been away from home for 26 yrs, then had to unwillingly move back in w/ her. Its horrible. We fight all the time.

It's a very unhealthy relationship, and I can't wait til I get out of here.

I've read many times, that mothers lose their daughters/daughters don't want anything to do w/ their mothers, BC of the abuse the mother had inflicted on their daughter(s).

I sympathize w/ those who have had to endure this abuse. When I finally get a chance to move out again, I will limit my contact w/ my mother--I refer to her as a "mother" rather than "mom", BC to me moms are supportive and loving, etc. My "mother" is hardly any of those, at least not when she's in the mood to be.

Thank you for this post!

xx

[lml885 in reply to SCC1]

yeah this is the same situation I’m in. I had to move back with in with her several times (we are codependent) and some things have gotten worse while others did get better. It’s hard to assert boundaries when you’re living with your mom and she is like that but it’s what I’ve done. Life is so hard and it’s hard to find housing so we do what we have to do. I’m just working on recognizing my own patterns and issues so I don’t end up moving in with her again.

[gettingbetterihope]

Not sure what to say to help, but I've had OCD since my mother died when I was 11 (currently early 40s), and had a narcissistic parent that survived her. Dealt with abuse from that, and finally cut ties many years later. You can talk to me.

[OCDlivrecovery in reply to gettingbetterihope]

I am so sorry to hear that.. i would love to talk more. I had to cut my family off due to my mother and its really hard having no one to talk to

[Bridgetgal]

Dear OCDlivrecovery

I’m relatively new to the forum so apologies just getting up to speed with how it works, so a little late to the party with catching up on threads. I wanted you to know you are not alone.

It saddens me to learn of peoples struggles but it’s encouraging to hear the positive stories on here.

I have felt incredibly isolated having had OCD for over 20 years, now in my 40s I’ve lost many friends, including a 16 year relationship with the guy I thought I’d marry and had no option to move back in with my mother.

This has compounded my OCD significantly and led to a sharp decline in my well-being. I already rate as a 4 on the Yale OCD scale suffering with constant intrusion but the relationship with my mum has exacerbated things and despite my endeavours nothing I do is acceptable I’m constantly referred to as not normal and my family resent me for my illness. Any successes I make, despite how hard is met with criticism and ‘that’s what normal people do, get in the real world’. This then makes me feel hopeless. I’m so glad I found this forum. There’s lots more but I’d rather not go into right now but my point is I can resonate.

Take care and happy to of course chat 🙂