More To Life
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I'm crushed but it's time to stop.

We had a few of years having nice holidays and working hard before we started our treatment at Leeds fertility hospital. We self funded as we are a female couple and the consultant advised 3 rounds of iui and if that didn't work ivf would be available on the NHS. So we bought 3 lots of donor sperm and enough fsh to give us the best shot. 2 and a half years on and 3 bfn's and ivf is no longer available on the NHS and we've spent so much money. We've decided that we can no longer fund any more treatment. I don't know anyone else who's gone through this treatment. I feel like I've got nobody to talk to.

I'm sad. Everything we've hoped for has come to an end. I'm finding it difficult to find a new purpose for my life.

We discussed adoption but our ages go against us.

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Hey Korin

New here but I totally get what your saying about feeling sad. My circumstances are different but we cannot afford IVF and are also trying to come to terms with what our life purpose is. Just wanted to connect with you and let you know that although it feels that way, you are not alone.. unfortunately I do not have the answers but happy to listen if it helps xx

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Thank you. Xxxx

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Hi Korin,

Me and my husband went through self funding iui (x3) in Cambridge before we moved up to North Yorkshire and had ivf in Leeds. All un-successfull . This was 8 years ago but I have been there. You are not alone out there. Give yourself time to work things out, you both need to grief. Read through posts here for advice. We are for you. Tc .

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Thank you so much it's nice not to feel so alone. I don't think people who have children really understand. X

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I feel the same. What do people without children do? The only advise I've read is to grieve it. This is what I'm trying to do right now. Also talk to your partner & cry as much as you need to. I kept things bottled in for such a long time and it was so unhelpful. Our plan now is to go on lots of holidays and have lots of animals. Im also looking into a change of career. I hope you're feeling better soon x

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Thank you so much. I'm planning to do similar things. Xx

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Hi Korin...Welcome to our community. Sorry to hear your story and struggles. I am amazed they turn down couples for adoption based on age and illness/disability. I am not sure if this is different in areas around the country. What age are you to be told that it goes against you.

Xxx

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Hi thanks for your reply. It mainly due to my partner being 9 years older than myself and having arthritis. It's never been an option for her and as we're getting older the more she dislikes the process that you have to go through of adoption. Xx

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I am also with you.... And the clock is ticking faster than usual. I am nearing 50 and my partner 58. Our dreams of having children has alway ended on a sad not. I am so careful with all things around but unfortunately not able to hold the baby in my womb. Everytime he (baby) slips I am torn into pieces. I keep thinking why again and everytime its more painful than the previous. So after all this should I stop dreaming about a baby but I cannot.... So I am planning for surrogacy. Has anybody have any information which can be useful....

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Hi Lisababy.

I'm so sorry to hear that you are having a bad time. Unfortunately I don't have any information on surrogacy. My thoughts are with you. Xx

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