lost......

[miserables]

not been on here in a while.....was diagnosed with PND around november time but to be honest i have been depressed for about 8 years. The GP started me on citalopram....i have not took any of these. I smoke around £15.00 of cannabis a day.....i have no support....a young son at home....im lost....i dont know what to do or where to go from here. I do not know what i want from life anymore. I feel sometimes my son is a burden... if he wasnt here then i wouldnt have to be either...........even though i love him to pieces.

I dont know what to do anymore .... not even one friend who I can talk to )-;

[Suzie40]

Ok ....

Second hand smoke from marijuana is harmful to your son's respiratory system, can affect the nervous system and irritate the eyes. He is likely to develop depressive traits of his own and is at a higher risk of developing personality disorders.

You love him to pieces?

PND is crap. It sucks the life out of you. It stands like a wall between you and your child, and you're too weak to try and break it down. Been there, got the t-shirt. Twice.

Why haven't you taken the citalopram? If you've been depressed for eight years it will be several weeks before you start to feel even a little bit better. But you have to start somewhere. Your son needs you to feel better. He needs his Mum and when you start to turn the corner you will begin to enjoy him.

Start the tablets, please. The placebo affect will carry you through the first week or so while they begin to take effect.

Take care x

[miserables]

dont worry about smoke around my son he is never there when this happens....

I think the main reason i havent took the citalopram is because i smoke cannabis I wondered if it would have the same effect. today I made the decision to start my citalopram tomorrow....i cant go on like this. i plan to decrease the cannabis use slowly as I have been smoking heavily for a while now.

i love my son....i just feel lost......past experiences have made me the person I am today....i dont want to be that person....i want to be a strong independant woman..........i dont know where to start really other than starting these anti depressants and seeing where they take me ....

[Suzie40]

Cannabis will not have the same effect as citalopram.

The effect of happiness that cannabis usually causes to the user is not a lasting effect because even though a user smokes weed to get away from the troubles of his/her own life, they still have to face these problems after the effects of the drug wears-off. What you're experiencing is the comedown of the cannabis wearing off, and the natural reaction is to smoke more. It's a vicious cycle.

Citalopram works in a completely different way. It raises the levels of serotonin in the brain. This, in time, makes you feel better.

Do you have a plan in place to reduce how much you are smoking? It's a bit like a diet. I start one most Mondays but because I haven't actually thought it through, I don't have anything to replace the 11 o'clock sugar binge or the microwave meal for tea. If you are dependent on cannabis, you need to withdraw carefully and have alternatives in place.

You mentioned that your son is not around when you are smoking. That suggests to me that you have some sort of support network in place. Is this someone in whom you could confide?

I think you know that changes are needed. Visiting your doctor and being very honest on here about your lifestyle choices are brave moves. I really hope you continue to move in the right direction. Please continue to share on here. It would be lovely to know how you are getting on x

[miserables]

no plan as such but i will start to put one into place as your right, i should do this slowly and properly be prepared.

the person who looks after my son is a child minder so not someone i can really confide in.....i have a partner but he smokes with me....so he is no good to talk to about this either.

pre- diagnosis my bf would state that depression is 'controllable' by the person feeling it. so he is not a person i want to share my feelings with at the moment...he isnt hugely supportive tbh. and he isnt usually one to discuss his own feelings etc.

my counsellor even suggested couple therapy today but this isnt something he is interested in..........................................i hope to start my antidepressant tablets today.......

[Suzie40]

I've just noticed from a previous blog that you're a mental health nurse. Do you have any colleagues you could chat to about how you are feeling? Or do you prefer to kee the two aspects of your life seperate? X

[Photogeek]

I am glad you were honest, and It is hard to come on here and admit our failings etc. You know yourself that its time to change. Please start the medication and cut down your smoking too, its going to be hard to be in a relationship with a boyfriend who is smoking weed if you want to stop. Think about what you want for yourself and your son. Its no life for a child with both parents smoking weed. Weed is part of the problem not the solution to your problems. Be honest with your GP too, Let us know how your getting on.

Hannah

[Hidden]

Hi

I'm glad you have decided to start taking the meds and to wean off cannabis - do you have any support for that?

I wonder whether you have any support generally? It's hard having a young son and feeling so low - you need support. I'm wondering whether there's anywhere you might get it?

Hope things are settling a bit and that the meds aren't having too many side effects. Do try to get past them.

I'll be thinking of you. Give your son a hug from me,

Suexx

[coatpin]

You were prescribed citilapram, because your chemicals in your brain isnt working properly,, hense feeling this way, take the pills,,,, otherwise your condition will get worse. Come off the weed, it doesnt help!! and in fact sometimes you substitute this for depression, only when your off it, it makes you come down even further,,, thats why you need the support of the drugs,,,until your brain starts working properly again. Tell you honestly, I was put on the same drug,, and i have my life back, and I love my grand kids,, before I couldnt be in the same room as them. Day by day,, someone new was given back to me, and you get to appreciate small things at first and then time goes on and theres another thing, different.

So please try them, see what happens and if they dont work, try another,,,my brother smoked weed, and ended up being schizophrenia(cant spell it ), they have found a strong link. But that is what happens when you dont take your drugs, and the illness gets worse,, slowly but surely. I will be here,,, to talk if you want too x Linda

[jpars]

Hi

I was in a very similar situation to yours although I did take the tablets, anyway the solution for me, over time, was to ditch the partner and stop smoking at all. So if you take your cannabis with tobacco, think about nrt, and the support you can get for stopping cigarettes. I never told anyone I was stopping smoking cannabis. Just a thought.

J

x