On top of everything else. my girlfriend just left me.

[Robb1722]

My life is in self destruct mode, everything i touch falls to pieces. 2 failed marriages, part time father to 2 children of separate partnerships. A family that has more secrets than the BBC and all i was doing was coasting between my bouts of suicidal thoughts and actions. When my 2nd wife finished our relationship i swore that i would never let myself be belittled again, so i made a point of going back to college to study for the career everyone told me i could never have. Well 12 years later it has all come crashing down around my ears. After being Attacked twice and then run over in the last 2 years my company have seen fit to desert me. My family have never really understood my condition, I'm the psyco in the family, berated for having, a voice and refusing to be treated like a slave. I should put up and shut up. 'Just keep your mouth shut and be grateful you have a job'. Fed up and useless is how i feel most days. The undeniable mood swings that have and are pushing everyone i love away. When i think of the future it has to be tomorrow. I have trouble thinking of anything further.

[Hecter]

Dont self destruct -just wet the blue touch paper for now.If your future is just tomorrow it is still a future and the old saying goes take it a day at a time.No dont ever shut up - you must speak out for what you believe and what you need.Just keep on going - tomorrow is another day.From a friend

[reggie]

same here just like me even attempted suicide twice in the last 2 month and terminal and a ex partner that regularly told me of who she was bedding and a little boy that loves me now today a new home new area and the faint snores of a new partner from the next room hang on in there life changes a new door will arrive for you to walk through

[Hidden]

Hi

I'm sorry you are feeling so negatively about yourself but it is hardly suprising considering the way you feel your family view you! In your situation I would feel enraged. Are you angry? I wonder whether you are able to be assertive. Two failed marriages is not so very unusual these days, you might as well say two marriages which didn't work out which may be as much your partners faults as yours although it's useless apportioning blame in relationships. It must be disappointing for you that the marriages didn't work out. I'm glad you are able to still have contact with both children, but I guess you feel disappointed that you are not living with one or both within a happy family unit. You say your second wife belittled you and I wonder whether you learned within your family of origin to be a bit of a doormat? It does sound as if your self esteem needs a boost to more normal levels. You have done well to form two marriages, you must have had something for both women to have wanted to marry you, then you did well to go back to college and train for your career. It must have come as a bitter blow to find you were let down by your employer, then be a victim of attacks and then have the accident! It is no wonder you are struggling, you have had a lot to cope with. I wonder whether you have talked with anyone about the struggles within relationships? Marriage Guidance Council see people about relationship difficulties and you don't need to be in a relationship in order to see them, also there are other voluntary organisations that offer counselling, you can find them by googling or via the CAB possibly. The NHS seems to offer little other than medication which supresses feelings but does little to help with feelings that are a natural response to circumstances, or CBT which is so short term that many people find they are back where they started after a relatively short time. Talking offers the best possibility, assertiveness training may help but it sounds as though you have sufficient strength to follow your wishes e.g. by training! Can you find further work, or is that impossible? Suexxx