My wife left me

[Broke]

Hi I'm 38 going throw same as you 25 days a go my wife walke out on me after 3 years relationship and 19 Months marriage. Have no contact with her she block me from the phone, don't know what to do wher to go, she has destroyed all my dream I miss her so much, I can't eat or sleep please help

[Broke]

Now I don't know what to do no form of contact I don't know what to do I miss her so much I want her back don't know what to do please help

[Kev45]

I'm so sorry to hear that mate. I feel your pain. My heart was broken over Christmas and I know the anguish you're going through. It's hell. I'm afraid there's nothing anyone can say that will sound useful at this time. You'll get lots of well intended advice but I'm afraid that when it's raw it's really hard to take. But hang in there. Talk to people (either people you know and trust or on here to non judgemental strangers. Whoever you feel most comfortable talking with) and do your best to look after yourself. 

I'm sorry I don't have the answer you so desperately want. If I did I'd have used it myself.  But you're not alone with those feelings mate. 

Take care, Kev

[Hidden]

Why? Why did she leave? Most women won't leave a man who treats them well. It's painful to make a change like that in your life so she must find it harder to stay than to leave.I know you're hurting right now,but if you want her back you're going to have to ask yourself some hard questions. Are you good to her, does she know you love her Just saying it isn't enough, you have to show her as in helping her, being kind to her, being a friend before you're a lover. Write to her does she have dreams? I wish you well.

[Kev45 in reply to Hidden]

I treated my ex like a princess. Always put her feelings ahead of my own. Complimented her all the time, bought her flowers and took her out for nice meals. 

To say most women won't leave a man who treats them well is insulting and wrong. Every decent man has had someone leave them regardless of how well they treated them. My ex told me as she was ending our relationship that she'd never been treated better or more affectionately. There are many reasons why someone leaves another. Your immediate assumption that it must be the man's fault is a blinkered, wrong and completely abhorrent. 

[Hidden in reply to Kev45]

It wasn't my intention to insult you, only to suggest that there is something that is causing her to leave I can only make observations based on the information given.I also can misread situations I do apologize and I hope things work out for you When you post on these forms you're going to get a variety of opinion most of which is meant to be helpful. .

[Kev45 in reply to Hidden]

I understand that wasn't your intention but if it had been a woman would you have suggested she looked at herself and how she treated her man? Told her that most men won't leave a woman that treats them well? Maybe you would I don't know, but unless you know for sure that is the case I don't think putting the onus of blame onto the grieving partner is constructive. When someone leaves us we generally tend to blame ourselves and question ourselves mercilessly as it is, so really don't need to be told it was probably our fault!

As someone who has been going through the same as the man who posted this it struck a nerve. I tried so hard to make my partner happy and gave everything I could but her feelings changed, as is sadly the case in most relationship breakdowns. From experience and from what I know from friends both male and female It's rarely anyone's 'fault'. 

I wouldn't want the guy who posted this to feel worse than he already does. I know that wasn't your intention and I know you were trying to be helpful. Sorry if I sound harsh and sorry for the lecture. 

[makemepainfree in reply to Kev45]

I AGREE WITH KEV

[Kev45 in reply to makemepainfree]

Thank you  

[Adeledawn]

Kev,me and my x were best friends first then partners for 3 years we had an argument one night he went to his dad's to cool off,last time I heard he was on crack and he's now in jail I Carnot believe it I suffer with anxiety really bad,we had a really good life I haven't seen or heard of him in 2 years I still miss him and feel ill never find that happiness again drugs have a lot to answer for,🙁😞

[Kev45 in reply to Adeledawn]

Oh wow I don't know what to say to that except I'm sorry. I think you perfectly illustrate my point about ourselves blaming/questioning ourselves. You did nothing wrong Adeledawn. Hope deep down you know that.

[Hidden]

What caused the walk out, could you arrange with her to see Marriage Guidance together, I have been married now for over forty years and would at least discuss a problem before handing back the keys

BOB

[jackl]

I know how you feel. My soon to be ex walked out on me too. I don't understand it. I treated her like a queen, and gave her all of the love and affection that I could. I was faithful, attentive, I gave her everything she let me know she wanted. We renewed our marriage vows eight months before he left. It wasn't enough. I allowed her sister to move in our house after her husband died (BIG MISTAKE), the sister started picking arguments with me within two weeks, each one worse than the previous. She even went so far as coming downstairs showing herself to me. I called for my wife (who said nothing to her). The sister even tried to make me angry and strike her. When I didn't, she started yelling at the top of her lungs, coward, coward, coward. She wanted me to strike her, and I knew it. She was baiting me so I would get arrested, and not be allowed to go anywhere near the house and have to pay the mortgage. What I've learned: Don't feel sorry for ANYBODY. If she wants to go, let her go, if you cling onto her, you may not be as lucky as I was.