I'm not doing well mentally-this is a very long post

[Cat_cat44]

Hi everyone, I'm semi relived that I can tell my innermost feelings and thoughts on here, because I barely have support, and I don't want to burden my daughter with my issues anymore than I have. I tried to hold it in this morning but I couldn't, so i shared with her a little bit again. It may seem small to everyone but its a bigger picture behind it. So not only today marks one year that I lost my car that I worked so hard for due to my mental illness, which resulted in me losing my job that I had for over2 years, I recently found out that my sister had another car of her own all this time and not once did she offer for me to use it. I'm sure everyone is thinking that she is not obligated to let me use it, which is partly true, especially since we're not close, but damn. All this time I had no idea. And because I was already triggered by the fact that she has so much support and friends around her constantly, and I have none (well some but I have too many issues at the moment to get close to old friends), this new information really hurts. I feel like its a big f you, or karma because I don't come around (again, because of my issues and instability). My life is truly a mess, I can't get stable because im constantly losing jobs (i'm trying my best to get stable because I don't qualify for disability benefits), but my therapist advises me to keep trying to work again. Then I'm totally broke right now because I didn't comply with keeping my assistance cash.( I was going through a deep depression.) I felt slightly better so I went to the office to recomply but I keep not having the proper paperwork. So this week coming, I have to try hard to got to the office again. Also to get support, I will get online for weekly support on monday (i have been to the group in months), stay on top of my DBT homework, go to online class thursday, go to online bible study, complete my online schoolwork, and attend online therapy. I am quite busy, but when I get these thoughts, I want to curl up and not face the world or anyone in it. Most people in this world moves with it, and Im always not up to the speed.

[Vonus5591]

youtu.be/APsh9q1CNFo?si=k5D...(Not working as expected?)

[Samuel12345]

thank you for sharing, Cat_cat. I want to share that God, and God's love, grace and mercy may be upon you. you can overcome your current situation.