This is my second attempt I'm just not sure what I'm doing

I have suffered with depression for a very long time but I have managed I have children and they come first . But this year my mum passed away she lived with us for a long time she had been diagnosed with cancer the first time when I was only 19 in all she had cancer four times . This time last year we were told that this time they couldn't operate I took care of her up till the end up until she could no longer breathe my mum was my world and I miss her so much I'm dreading Christmas this year without her I'm trying to be strong but in side I feel lost .


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11 Replies

  • Hello Prior,

    I was so sad to read your post, my heart goes out to you, it really does. This time of year is painful for so many people but you'll get through it, you really will.



  • Thank you so much for your kind words .

  • Hi Prior,

    What an incredible person you are. You are obviously so selfless, but I think, especially at this time of year, you are going to need to be a bit selfish.

    This Christmas is just going to be me and my husband. His parents have passed away and my parents are having to go and look after my brother and his family on the other side of the world. I am determined that I am not going to feel sad at Christmas. Our collective families have shrunk dramatically over the past couple of years, but I need to live in the now.

    So, here is what I suggest, you make a plan to treat yourself and your kids every day over the Christmas period. Whether it be running yourself a bubble bath, having hot chocolate before bedtime, one extra biscuit.

    Light a candle for your Mum on Christmas Day, take a moment to miss her, and then be in the here and now with your kids. Most importantly, be kind to yourself.



  • Thank you unfortunately I have ms I try to just get on but some days the pain is unbelievable I have to take up to 23 tablet's a day just to cope and among all the sadness I have a very selfish partner we have been together for 16 years some days well most days he loses his temper he used to hit me a lot that's one of the reasons mum moved in but since she passed away his slowly go back to his old ways .yes I know we would all be better off with out him but it's not always that easy . I'm going to try to constraint on myself and the kid's thank you again to take the time to reply it means a lot .

  • Hi there I just want to say what a wonderful daughter! So lovely that she lived with you and that you cared for her. I am sure she loved being with your children and having your love and support.

    It's so sad for you all and you know we are allowed to be sad, but I'm sure your mum would not want you to be sad all the time over the next few weeks.

    Wishing you well

  • Thank you but I only did what any child would have done for their mum it was the last thing she was ever going to ask of me , she was a strong lady she brought 4 children up on her own as my dad died when I as 4 .mum was my light and she saved me more than once.

  • She sounds a wonderful mum, and you have great memories, I hope you are able to cope in the coming days.

  • I know what it's like to lose your mom. I'm so sorry, especially that she had to fight cancer as she did. Truthfully, she will never be far from you. My mom used to visit in dreams. I often had to explain to her that she had passed. It's been 28 years since she's gone and I still miss her, too, especially around holidays. However, lately, I find myself speaking, thinking, opionating, etc. Just like her!! It not only makes me feel like she's with me, but it has helped me to understand her better. Watch for your mother in your actions and how you relate to others, like your children. You'll see her there. In the meantime, you can tell us what you would say to her if that helps. Tell her Merry Christmas here or update her on your kids. Come to us for help, like, hey Ma, how many minutes a pound to cook a turkey? We're here for you. And I'll ask my mom to keep an eye out for yours & make her feel welcomed.

  • I talk to mum all the time and a always say good night it helps. Thank you for your kind words , this ti of year has always been a little sad because my dad died on the 27th of December I hope they have found each other .

  • I couldn't imagine what its like to lose your mother, I'm so sorry! I have lost a lot of people in my life though and its strange because everybody grieves differently, some people can celebrate peoples lives rather than mourn them, while others don't understand why they left. When I lost my granddad it was the first real death I dealt with and it was so strange because your whole world changes, the people around you change, its weird. But then something clicked a while later, I cant describe it but it was peace, I know it sounds crazy, I'm not even religious, but for the first time I could think about my granddad and not cry but smile at the memories he has left in my life, i would any day love and lost to never of loved at all, i know you wont believe me but you will have your click sweetie, and your mum will be happy memories! Hope you and your family have a lovely Christmas hun!xx

  • Thank you so much for your kind words mum was such a huge part of my life and my children ,my son who is 12 is finding it difficult as mum loved Christmas alot we would dress the tree together every year , it's the small things .

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