Medical & Mental Health plagued year!

[DPMom]

This year I have continued with weekly therapy sessions (10+ years) and consistent with meds. Over the last 20 years I have had at least 8 diagnosis, dozens of different med regiments. Still struggling mentally daily. NOW add medical issues this year - Celiac Disease, SIBO, with no eye issues ever I suddenly had to have 3 emergency eye surgeries and 2 cataract surgeries in 7 months. Legally blind all summer, and permanent affected eye sight for life - not completely healed yet either. I took out my anger on my therapist this week and don’t know how to undo it - how to face her again. I tried showing her how much I finally trusted her after 10 years and told her my deepest secret that I planned on dying with and now I can’t deal with it out there. I hate myself for being needy, mean and turning away everyone else in my life. I am figuring this spiral down will have to hit bottom sometime but not sure when and how much damage I will do to everyone around me. Any advice or good thoughts are appreciated.

[Vonus5591]

Have faith in yourself, you will triumph all obstacles and setbacks. Seek support and you will achieve the life you want. Please seek help from psychiatrist or counselling to make it bearable for yourself. Refuse to settle to nothing and fill your life as much as you can with support and help. You will get through this, believe.