Chronic pain and family

[pratyaya_23]

Family can be a life jacket in the stormy sea of life..!!..

Talking about our problems is at greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys…. famous quote by Rita schiano

I, personally agreed to this to some extent, but in case of chronic illness ( I read this in context to chronic pain patients articles ) I can’t agree to it. I, myself, a chronic pain patient and honestly I simply just cant buy this idea.

Chronic illness,if explained in layman language, any kind of disease which lasts more than 3 months come under chronic illness. And, I’m dealing with different health issues both at physical level and mental level since last 9-10 years,so according to definition i can say I’m an ancient chronic pain patient 😬😄😄..

Anyways, on serious note, neither definition nor any quotes can help to deal with chronic medical conditions, and its worst if one have medical conditions which are not curable, only manageable and nail in the coffin is ,conditions in which patient “don’t look sick”….

There are various issues one has to deal with his/ her chronic condition. Obviously, we need a team of medical practitioners who are understanding, good listeners, show faith in you, motivaters and work as a team with you to manage things.

Another important part is of family members, without their support, empathy its quite difficult to cope up with chronic pains/ illness. But, except few really lucky ones, most of us struggle with extra burden of non- understanding/supporting family or in some cases family is supporting and try to help but as time passes, it’s become difficult for them to deal with it.

And this is the most difficult part for chronic pain patients, as, after some time/ years, people associated with them start getting irritated or frustrated because of this prolonged illness….. its very natural, I’ve no doubts about it, but in addition to it may be they start doubting patient’s conditions, may be its difficult for them to understand that one can be sick for so long, it’s actually difficult to understand why no therapy, medication,strategy working on patient. So as time passes, they start getting impatient and their this behaviour intentionally or unintentionally makes the patient’s situation more tough.

Now next issue which I think all of us face at one point or another is the advice what to do, what not to, given by our near and dear one. Its get more difficult/tricky if he / she is your partner… obviously they won’t want any bad for you afterall they love you, they’re the ones who will be most affected by your condition so its very obvious for them that patient should do what they suggest them and things get bitter when you are blamed if you dont get relief from their advice,which obviously ,they think will definitely work because they think that way but they forget that most of the things they suggest are the things they heard from horses mouth .According to them, you’re not listening to them or the famous line: ” ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD”…..but like really….🤔🤔🤨🤨😏huh….

Now the question is what can be done to improve this situation?? because just keep cripping about this won’t serve any purpose.

I genuinely believe in the fact that it’s not fair to expect understanding everytime from the people around us, afterall they’re human beings too, with their own share of problems, challenges of life.

I feel few things can be done in this case: first is regular counselling of the carers/ immediate family members so they can get rid of the pressure, negativity, exhaustion of living with chronic pain patient.

Another important point is to make them understand that as a patient we need their love, care, acts of showing concern and EMPATHY and not SYMPATHY… personally its very important for me I don’t want sympathy ,like I don’t want that all the time everybody should only revolve around me but yes, I expect most of the times, not always as its bit difficult, my family show that we know you’re struggling and you’re trying to come out of it, keep trying we’re with you….In one line, little appreciation for my efforts

Another thing ,actually the most important is to educate carer / family member about the illness like what it is, what are the symptoms, how it can affect patient not only at physical level but also at mental level , its very important to understand physchological side of chronic disease/ illness… … take an example,most of the times just taking a shower needs energy approx. equal to energy a healthy person needs to say run 3 to 4 kms… it’s sad😔😔but its true for most of Chronic pain patients …..

People can avoid using terms in front of chronic pain patients like you’re being lazy or you have become comfortable in your present health condition, Stop talking all the time about your illness… I agree that it’s important to distract your mind, think positive, re-train your mind and so on but at the same time I understand by just distracting your mind or not talking about illness will not cure you.

So , after struggling with various chronic diseases since last 9-10 years, I come to point that with understanding of your disease, by properly educating family members and with the help of family support and under an environment of loving, caring, understanding and empathetic attitudes of carers, a chronic pain patient if not cured but atleast will be able to manage his medical conditions. Enough for now…..pratyaya Singh

#chronic #pain #help #awareness #family #support #love #empathy