Struggling badely

[Redcol5]

Hi All,

I’ve not been on for awhile.... well ...as not been suffering with depression until very recently, when it’s hit me really hard and for a few weeks now I’ve battled to go into work but I just couldn’t do it today.

I’ve told my boss I’ve had a breakdown which I feel I’m in the midst of and Im going to get a doctors appointment and take meds or whatever they feel is needed to get me out of this place...it may not save my job but I truly can’t go on like this anymore.

Just needed to say something to someone to tell someone my wife has supported me through this but she is disappointed I have given in to it and I know friends and family will be to.

Am I doing the right thing here? So scared and worried.

Col

[annakatarzyna]

The most important thing is to stop feeling guilty or a let down for taking a step to recover. If you feel like your close ones may feel disappointed, are you sure they really are or is it just you that feel that way? They obviously love you and worry about you and wish to see you happy, but that doesn't mean they disappointed in you. Hopefully everything go well with your job and there's no point in worrying about it now. The most important thing for you now is to talk to someone (your GP is a good start) and get help. And you will. And it will get better, easier.

[Redcol5 in reply to annakatarzyna]

I am downstairs listening to my wife talk on the phone to her sister and can hear them, both are of the opinion that tablets don’t solve the problem that made you anxious or depressed and that you need to keep battling through.

it’s so hard to explain that I’ve been doing that for weeks but I’m all battled out, hoping a break from work and give the tablets at least a chance to make me less anxious and maybe I can cope better with the demands of my job... or I’m just kidding myself... feeling so low and worthless, in a self pitying mood which does me no favours at all. I have a wonderful 5 year old son who I adore and I feel I’m letting him down too. There the self pity is back again.

[Redcol5 in reply to annakatarzyna]

Thank you for your reply, it’s the most supportive response I’ve had from anyone in a while. Much appreciated.

[Graft1983]

Hey mate,

I can relate to this post very much regarding you’re work situation. I’ve been unhappy in my work for at least two years, but it’s the only job I’ve ever done and I’m good at it so I kinda feel stuck. So got to the point that I had to do something, so I went to my boss and told him that I wanted to cut my hours down and not work away anymore. I had to think of myself, so hopefully this will make it better for me. Like you I have a son, who I want to enjoy my time with. But it’s hard when work gets on top of you and you’re just knackered all the time.

I hope things improve for you 👍

[Hidden]

It is important that you talk to your Doctor, He can arrange some talking Therapy to help you come to terms with your mentioned problems. I can understand how your Wife may feel, in my case I am registered disabled and my Wife looks after me and helps to keep me stable. She has telephone numbers to call if she needs support, when my condition and pain needs support. She also attends my GP appointments so she feels informed and has an understanding what is going wrong so she can help

You need help and CBT possibly to move on and understand your own needs and expectations. Life has been hard for many people and made worse because of Covid

BOB

[LegzRmine]

Hi Redcol5 ..it’s not your wife or her sister that are struggling...it’s YOU...it can be very hard for somebody to understand depression/ anxiety unless they’ve suffered from it themselves...Your wife wouldn’t bemoan the fact you needed insulin if you were a diabetic....the same for depression...there’s no need to suffer when there is medication available..Most cases of depression are due to an imbalance of brain chemicals.. I recall a chap coming up to me in a pub and profusely apologising to me...he explained that he knew of me via a mutual friend..and he knew that a few years previously I had suffered badly from depression..and at the time he thought I was a complete nutter! Well there he was now apologising to me for thinking so badly of me after he had then gone through depression himself...he said it was absolutely horrendous..I thought it was very commendable of him to come over and admit that to me.....just goes to show..it can happen to anyone.....

[Redcol5 in reply to LegzRmine]

Thank you, whilst I wouldn’t wish this horrible feeling on anyone, I think you are right until you have experienced it then its very difficult to understand just how awful it is.

[Redcol5]

Thank you all for your comments today, they have helped me realise I’m not mad or the only one that is struggling at the moment.

I have a phone call/ appointment booked with my GP tomorrow and I will see where go from there, I need to be clear that I can’t struggle on as I have been doing and I need some help to cope at this moment on time in whatever form that might be, counselling has really me in the past when I’ve had previous struggles following the deaths of my grandad and my mum.

[welly10]

You need to get help col.if you need time off to heal take it work can't just get rid of you.go to doctors have a chat with him if work try and get rid of you your doctor can put you under the mental health act 2010 low mood depression etc comes under this.you should get full pay depending on your job then you'll get ssp or go on job seekers but they cannot just get rid of you.i had 5 months off in 2014 3 months full pay then ssp/job seekers then back on phased return.long process but needed it.hope you get sorted.

[Redcol5]

I’ve been signed off for two weeks and put on meds, hopefully the meds will kick in soon and I will at least start feeling a bit better.

[Amimac22]

Hi. I hope you get the care you need to recover and take care of your mental state. I have bipolar disorder and don’t know any relatives or family friends that have it. That really understand what I am truly going through. I recently just joined this peer group a week ago and it makes me feel so much better knowing I am not alone and not the only one dealing with daily struggles due to a mental disorder. What has helped me when I get in a spell of depression and or manic episode is to have a plan of coping. I immediately make an appointment with my therapist. This has truly saved me. We discuss ways to deal with my current mental state and ways to recover in the future. Have you webt to a talking therapist or counselor before?

Just because I don’t have a physical scar on the outside like a bandage or a large cast doesn’t mean I am not struggling daily. It isn’t as easy as ohhhh your depressed just be happy your alive and You have family and friends blah blah blah. There are chemicals in my brain that are imbalanced like a sea-saw. Up and down back and forth. Most people just naturally have these chemicals and are just fine. I have been taking meds since I was 16 and I am 30 now. I have been able to some how keep a 9-5 job but it’s not that easy. I hope you can find a good plan for you to recover. Please take care of yourself. You are not alone.