I’m really struggling today

[Welshman41]

I’m at the stage now where I’m really struggling not to end things, over 3 weeks have past since me and the ex split up and it seems to be getting harder and I don’t know what to do, I keep looking at her twitter page and she is doing good and moving on but I can’t seem to do the same. I’ve tried to stop myself from looking at her twitter but I can’t seem to be able to, even though I know I got to cause it’s killing me!! Long story short she seems to be doing things purposely to hurt me and I can’t get my head around why she would do this to someone she was supposed to love?

[Alex79]

Hi welshman41. I just had a quick read of your previous posts here and would just like to say that you are an incredibly strong person, when I had depression for 6 months I struggled so much and you have battle through it for 10 years you really do inspire me. After all this are really going to give in over this, the reason you feel trapped in this cycle is because you are doing things the same day in day out. Make a change. Go on holiday. Go out meet some people. Anything to get you out, even if you dont want to you might find yourself getting lost in it and you forget the depression just for a bit and then you can see a way out.

Please hang in there

Alex

[Welshman41 in reply to Alex79]

Thanks for the reply and honestly I can’t even see how I can do things different, I have tried exercising in the house, but my problem is for the last 4 yrs I haven’t even signed on at the job centre so basically I have had no income for the past 4 yrs and I don’t have any money what so ever to go out and do things and even if I did have the money the last 3 years have been kinda the worse cause I’m at the stage now where I don’t even leave the house I feel like I have lost trust in all people ie: police, government, healthcare basically anything run by government or anything corporation or business like and even my so called best friend, so you could call that everything, and a lot of these feelings I know are from not going out enough and watching to much bad stuff on YouTube about how corrupt the police and government are etc but it’s not all to do with what I watched I have also had I my own bad experiences with all these and that’s probably why I started watching things like this on YouTube in the first place, even saying my feelings on here I feel bad for doing cause cause if there is one thing I have learnt over the years is to try and be positive and not spread negativity but I feel just saying what I have said is spreading negativity and even when I text something like, “I’m struggling today” I don’t like saying it cause I want to try and spread love and positivity but I just can’t seem to. I don’t really have any friends no more cause some have moved on and the others I stopped seeing cause with how I feel most the time down and unhappy I don’t want to be around them to bring them down cause that’s what I honestly think I am doing so I have stopped being around people altogether that’s why I’m struggling more niw with this relationship cause not only am I losing someone I’m losing the only person I would go outside with and losing the only person who does help me from time to time to cope. Again thanks for the reply and you don’t have to answer me back cause I already know I’m a handful and what you have text was more than I would expect from someone, I have so much respect for all of you people who respond to peoples posts....thank you so much!

[Alex79 in reply to Welshman41]

It's no problem. I feel like you expect too much of yourself. Stop looking at others and seeing your glass but accept the victories in life for example if you get out of bed one day reward yourself. You need to rediscover what makes you contempt with life my prayers are with you you my friend

[sfortne]

Social media is both a blessing and a curse. Sounds like she is playing games with you. You need to find an outlet such as a church group, a dance club or lessons, go hiking, get a puppy, anything to focus yourself in a positive direction and fill up the void in your life. If it were me, I would critically look at myself and say how can I improve myself so that even she will want to come crawling back to me. (Don't let her though because getting out of this depression you are in is bad enough one time. You don't need to repeat it.) Then I would focus all my energies on improving myself. (i.e. lose a few pounds, go to a body building class, enroll in classes to get a new degree or certificate in something you would like to do, get a new wardrobe, haircut, etc.) Have faith! This will pass. The focus of your new life should not be on her but on yourself. You are worth it! Take what I say next to heart. Cut negative people out of your life. Only surround yourself with positive people, thoughts, and activities. Soon, you will not feel the need to check her Twitter. Good luck and many blessings my friend. I am praying for you.

[Welshman41 in reply to sfortne]

Thank you so much, I’m not sure if you can see it, but someone else also responded to me and I’m a little beat at the moment with texting them back and I’m all out of texting, so if you can see that other guys post and mine have a read, and the thank you at the end, goes to you to.... I will take on some of what you said, there was some goods things there for me to think of.... thank you!!

[Stilltrying_]

Please please don't end things. You are just in a very very bad place but I have been there and I can tell you that there is always hope. It sounds like your ex is just being really horrible. Please don't look at her twitter anymore. Just stop doing that as it will make you worse. Try and eat well and just concentrate on surviving for now. That's all you need to do. Just survive until you are ready to take the next step which may be going outside of the house and breathing in the air. Be kind to yourself. You are hurting but I can tell you are a good person and I am very insightful. Gemma

[Welshman41 in reply to Stilltrying_]

Thank you!! And yes I’m not going to go on her twitter no more cause I managed to text her today to find out why she as done all this to me and although she ain’t given me an answer I’m happy with the conclusion of knowing she’s just an horrible person and now I have said my piece I actually feel like there’s a load off my mind and I can finally close the book. However I feel like the police might be knocking on my mams door soon looking for me cause I did say to her all the people you have lied to about me I will find out and tell them the truth, and she responded with are you threatening me? Which I wasn’t, I just think it’s unfair she as been talking to me to people and telling them lies about me which I have the prove of, but yes I will most definitely be leaving it now and try to look towards the future, thank you so much stilltrying and everyone for your responses, it means more to me and as helped me more than you all think xoxo

[Stilltrying_ in reply to Welshman41]

Yes I think you are right not to seek any kind of "revenge"; even if that is telling people the truth so it isn't revenge so to speak, it's more like seeking justice but sometimes it's best just to let it go as things can get out of hand which you don't want. Just know in yourself that's she's a bad person and that you are better than that. Well done for reaching this conclusion. It sounds like you are moving in the right direction.

[rachel913]

As hard as it is, BLOCK HER on social media. It is only going to delay your healing and we want you to heal as fast as possible! Trust me, from experience it has NEVER benefited me by keeping tabs on my ex through social media. Rip the bandaid off my friend and let go.. go out and enjoy yourself, hang out with your buddies, you deserve happiness too.

[Welshman41 in reply to rachel913]

Thank you rachel your words mean a lot to me, thank you!! Xoxo

[rachel913 in reply to Welshman41]

You'll get through this

[Brokenstrings]

How’re you doing today bud? Or should I say sut wyt ti?

I’ve been to that dark place where you are mate. It does feel like hell I know. I just wanted to give you some reassurance that things do get better, it might not seem like it at the minute ( I never thought things would improve in a million years ) but they really do.

This sounds a bit daft, but something that really helped me was waking up and making my bed straight away. Then the next day I’d wake up, make my bed, and do something else positive. The next day I’d do those things and add something else positive. I’ve been messy all my life but my house is bloody spotless nowadays haha.

I’ve recently started meditating too. In the past I’d have laughed at myself but it’s absolutely brilliant. Maybe worth a try? I’m not religious at all btw 😂

Anyway, I hope you’re doing good today. There’s always some good people on here if you want to talk through anything.

All the best

Dave.

[Welshman41]

Thank you for asking Dave. And yes I am doing a little better, I still can’t stop thinking negatively as of yet, but I am noticing bit by bit as the days go on that I am not having that really bad sinking feeling in my stomach as much and it is slightly getting better day by day, so fingers crossed it keeps going this way. And you saying do something new everyday day by day that is positive is a nice soothing thought and is something I will definitely try and do, thank you!!