Struggling with loneliness

[Bubbles018]

My mental health has been pretty bad over the last few months, I’m constantly overwhelmed with negative thoughts. I currently only have my boyfriend to talk to. My relationship with my friends was toxic so I removed myself from it. So now I have no friends. Whereas my boyfriend has loads and every time he goes out with them it makes me so jealous that I feel sick. I can’t help but be jealous that he’s out having fun and I’m sat at home alone just waiting for him to text me. I get so jealous that he has friends and I don’t, and it makes my mood so low that I end up taking it out on my boyfriend. I struggle to make friends and my anxiety wont allow me to try social groups. I’m just not sure what to do. Having no friends is really affecting me. I just can’t feel happy with he’s out having fun. I just don’t know what to do, any advice?

[Hidden]

My brother is a good talker and he is the most interesting person - but I do get jealous that he can talk so much and keep it up. I follow him and listen to the news, to have conversations. I listen to LBC, radio conversational radio otherwise I try to watch Morning because they talk a lot.

[Blueshirt]

I understand how you feel. My wife has loads of friends and family, like your boyfriend. She is at the moment away visiting her family for 3 weeks, leaving me to realise how lonely I am, like you. I am not working so have no colleague, my parents are dead, I have no family, and because many of my friends left me when I lost my job I am quite isolated. The only thing that has kept me going is going to the gym; so I would suggest you might try that too. I am no athlete, indeed at 64 years old I never will be now. But it has helped me. I occasionally meet people and go out with them, but usually my nerves cause me to drink too much an d I get depressed the next day, so then I stop wanting to meet new people.

I watch a lot to TV, but that doesn't help much other than to pass the time. I read but that is much the same as watching TV.

But the gym has helped, it makes me feel better and a part of a community. So I'd recommend you try it. Good luck

[Bubbles018 in reply to Blueshirt]

Thank you. I’m sorry that you are also feeling very lonely and isolated. I currently do go to gym, but it’s not somewhere I interact with people. I hope things get better for you.

[Blueshirt in reply to Bubbles018]

Than you

[Hidden]

Is there now way you can go out with his friends and their Partners. Generally what happens is mentioned and couples end up going out together, He will keep His friends and hopefully you will get on with partners of your Boyfriends Partners.

I ended in in a similar way with Hazels Sisters partners and it used to work well especially once you get over been called A Spy Lol

Do you both not have same interests, we found out quite early on what were our hobbies and activities, that is part of getting to know each other, yes there are things that interest one not the other. My interest did not match Hazels, like Ballroom, Latin and Old Time Dancing, swimming or Driving although we matched each other in Travel, History and Geography, Hazel is really keen on gardening, so she concentrates on that hobby.

It is fantastic if you have same interests, it seems to make the relationship a nice way to proceed.

BOB

[Bubbles018 in reply to Hidden]

We do plenty of things together. The main problem is I don’t have my own friends, Which makes me feel lonely. We have suggested going out with his friends and partners. I think we will try that. Thank you.

[Hidden in reply to Bubbles018]

Yes I imagine you do things together, you need to fulfill your needs and hobbies together, Have you considered interests other than going out, together diversions that bring you both together, a joining of similar things you enjoy and find an interest in.

I have my own collection of books, we both use and look up places we wish to go. We go out to historic houses, castles and places of interest, our collection reinforces the interests we both share. I am not saying buy a mass of books or similar, what I am saying is an interest say in gardening or sport can bring people both together especially if it is a co-joined interest, it gives something to talk about and explore.

BOB