Sometimes like today, I just don't want to be. People have different ideas about what 'being' is. I tried to BE an obedient child but got abused. I tried to BE a good mother but my illness got in the way. I tried to BE a good friend but my lack of boundaries caused me to be used. I tried to BE a good patient to mental health care professionals but got dumped before I could stand alone. Most of all I tried to BE a good student and I WAS! Top of my class wanted to be a therapist but everywhere I applied turned me down because I had been treated there. One place was going to hire me as an MHA. My own therapist called me and said the possibility might arise that he would have to supervise me and it would make him uncomfortable. I kept trying but never did land a job in the field. So, I put my degree in a drawer and went to work in a factory. Yes I a bitter ! I have called such events 'The Fly Swat Effect' .Seems to happen a lot for me. Now I just hide to keep bad things from happening. BEING hasn't worked. So why BE ? I guess I have ranted enough. It is going to be a tough day.
To be or not to be?: Sometimes like... - Mental Health Sup...
To be or not to be?
Thanks for your reply Luna. I know I come across as totally negative and I don't mean to bring others down. I haven't had a way to vent in a long time. I searched a very long time for ways to use my degree. I even tried volunteer options. Part of the problem is that I live in a small city. The biggest problem now is my age. I just can't let go of the bitterness and lost possibilities. Because I worked for low wages, I must live in government housing and that is hard at times. Thanks for listening.
I feel very similar. Im currently a custodian although I have much more talent and skills. But Ive come to realize that what I do doesnt have much bearing on Who I am. Im 46 and still self discovering things about the real me. My confidence is often shaken and my esteem dashed. A good portion of the time I seem to be existing more than living. I am working on that, just need more connection with likeminded people to keep me grounded, encouraged and persistent. Im here if you need someone to vent to or share with.
Hi DJ. I totally understand where you are coming from. Life's circumstances can
push us in directions we didn't want to go. Your comments led me consider how we might learn to separate who we are from what we are forced to do. It's not a simple thing to do is it? Thanks for replying and please continue searching for who you really are. I am here if you need to chat.
Very thought provoking consideration you proposed with the separation. No its not easy, many times just makes me feel empty. Same here I open anytime. Im just not that good at generalized talks to a whole group. Im the tyoe of personality who is reserved but once I find the right person. I love talking and listening really getting honest, vulnerable and deep. I believe thats were true healing begins
Being good or a fool?
Anxiety getting worse. I don’t know if I have something else but don’t know who to ask for a proper diagnosis.
A question I need to be answered please.
Right or wrong?
Experiences with CBT or MCBT?
