A question I need to be answered please.

[darkshadow]

Hi, everybody. After 3 weeks of no internet due to a lightning strike, I feel I must pop in to ask a question. I was invited to a class reunion which is being held tonight. I thought that I wanted to go so sent in my acceptance a couple of weeks ago. There were no signs that it would be too stressful for me until last night when I suddenly got the feeling that I didn't want to go. It was quite a strong feeling in spite of the fact that people I knew were going and that I had bought a new outfit for the occasion. This morning the intensity of that feeling caused me to contact the organisers and tell them I wouldn't be there. I feel nothing but relief. Is this the real me or the result of the fact that I have been off all medication for 3 weeks and the fact that it is 10 years to the day since my hubby passed away here in my kitchen before my very eyes? I'm confused. It may even just be physical lethargy. I feel I have let myself down somehow but I can't deny the relief at not going. Any thoughts from you would help me, I think.Myra.

[Olderal]

Don't worry about it Myra, what's done is done. What is most important is that you are making social commitments . That is very important.

Occasionally you'll feel you can't go through with one. That's OK , happens to everyone. Its good you feel you've let yourself down, it means you have the right attitude of regarding commitments as things to be kept but Hey, none of us are perfect and most break the odd commitment. At least you broke it the right way by letting the organisers know.

Keep making the commitments and don't break many otherwise it can become a habit and I'm sure you would n't want that,but the odd one now and again is OK.

Olderal

[Hidden]

Hi could it be fear that everyone else would be seem to have a happy successful life and you don't? x

[sweetiepye in reply to Hidden]

Ouch.

[Hidden]

Hi

Unfortunately he's still in my life! Not much, but enough that when I see him I still feel like a scared little girl. Even his voice ties me up into knots!

Ohh well, one day I'll be free of him.

Take care 😊

[sweetiepye]

I don't like class reunions, I don't see the point of them. I think they are a set up for failure. Those 4 years are probably the most stressful in your life. The friends you make at university are more likely to remain your friends for life, you obviously have more in common with them. Sometimes church groups become your social life, people you meet as an adult. I wouldn't feel guilty about not going. I bet if it were a group you really wanted to see you would have gone. Remember, it's what we do. not what we say that counts. By the way, I've never attended one . Wear that new outfit some where special. Pam

[Toci]

I have to agree with just2peachy because I also don't see the point. If the people attending are friends you have kept up with you will probably see them often and if not friends - who cares if you see them? I was quite successful in my chosen career and bumped into an old classmate who said to come along to the reunion she was organising and 'poke them in the eye' with my achievements. I asked what she meant and was told that's what reunions are for - so that the more successful can lord it over the less successful. I didn't go then and never have since. I need to know I am doing my best at being me, I don't need to measure me against others. Wear your outfit to go somewhere special and celebrate you. x

[Hidden]

Hi

I think that you were right to go with your gut feelings on this.

Hope you feel better soon.

Take care.

[BettyA]

I 100% agree with just2peachy!! You did what you FELT like doing!--and that is important. Don't waste ANY time trying to 'analyze' why you did or didn't go! MAN!!--we can be SO SO hard on ourselves! and usually its about piddle things...and as far as I'm concerned a class reunion IS piddle!! I totally dislike those things... for MANY reasons.... Usually they are 'set=ups' for Judgement day... and everybody frets and stews about 'what will others think of me' blah blah blah.... I also like Peachy's idea of wear that new dress someplace else... heck...even if you just go to the movies or a café ...and maybe even ask a friend to go along.... You are JUST FINE. This business of our obsessing on "Being Good Enough" has just got to go out the window. You take good care of yourself. If I were close by, I would invite you to a café and we would just yak away and have a good time. Sending you a biiiiiig hug!

BettyA

[darkshadow]

Thanks for all your replies. I don't feel I've missed anything important and I'm still glad I chose not to go.