Really Bad Wk: Mon, my husband & I had... - Mental Health Sup...

Mental Health Support

31,379 members17,127 posts

Really Bad Wk

4 Replies

Mon, my husband & I had a blazing row which ended up with me storming out of the flat taking nothing with me as I had 1 thing on my mind. I somehow managed to walk into town which is quite a distance from where we live & ended up by the river

But the tide was going out & there was people around, so I decided to sit on a bench & wait for noone to be around & the tide to change, not knowing how long I was gonna have to wait as I was gonna jump in & leave my stick on the side

But my anxiety got the better of me & somehow I ended up @ the Police Station crying my eyes out, scared stiff, so I told them all & that none of us was to blame, but that we've been under alot of pressure lately & things got heated

By going to them, hopefully support will be put into place for us both as my husband is my carer 24/7 with no xtra help

4 Replies
Tiggerakafidgity profile image
Tiggerakafidgity

Hi Hero

Well the true meaning of that is in your name.

Well done for taking positive action.

Well done for not taking your life

I was also in a similar position must be about 3 1/2 months ago when the police found me hanging of the edge of a bridge over a motor way.

All I’m gonna say is it takes some true boxxxxcks to jump or what ever takes your fancy.

I always think to my self am I making a big deal out of the situation that’s just happened or Is it a dry for help.

As you can hear from this I didn’t jump.i must have had the motor way closed of and what looked like 20 police cars.

I got down had a fag and you know a really nice chat like yu did.

We sat for half hour deciding what to do.i went to A@E Waited 5 hrs to see some,well I don’t know what his name was but his question was so how’s it going what would you like to do and that was it.unfortunality he was so wet behind the ears I felt let down after the 30 second or so chat.

He said calm the mental health team at such and such a place next morning.so I did there question oh yer we have an email not explaining a lot.let down again the last said we will be in touch and I didn’t receive a call for a whole week which was a total waste of time.

I’ve now got a phone call appointment on tue but I had to call the mental health team on Friday and really kick arse telling them how they had failed me.

So tell me how can the police do there job well for me then the guy at the hospital I found actually lied about sending the email and I had to kick his arse to please do his job right.

It seems there is a chain that easily breaks in the middle where either some one is over worked and doesn’t do his job properly baring in mind thus is some ones life.or he just doesn’t give a damn about ppl in which case go get a different job with out a badge of authority and less pay.

If I was suffering mental health to the extreme of causing me to sit in a corner and dribble and not fight for my own life or well being then where does that put them and how do they get the help they deserve.

I know the services are stretched and I appreciate totally what they do and they do a wonderful job but come on all work together as isn’t that unity in helping ppl that deserve help.

Ooops sorry went on a bit.raw nerve and that lot.

Please push and push and read and ask as many ppl as you can with which direction to get help yer

It’s important to you but not to them so you just make a big song and dance about wanting more help

What I would say is a big big THAN YOU for staying with us WELL DONE

I know it’s not easy but work hard and you WILL get rewarded even if it’s only a tiny slice at a time

You are a true hero xx

in reply to Tiggerakafidgity

Guess we're both survivors, if it wasn't for my anxiety I would have waited for the tide to turn & gone for it, but a voice told me not to, I believe it was God as I'm religious

I'm still waiting for the Street Triage team to get intouch with me & they said it'll be a couple of days, be a wk tomorrow, so I dunno if they'll ring or not, mind you Tues & Wed we had really bad storms & it affected our phone signals

Me walking into town like that may have caused a 2nd stroke or played a part towards it, so I've paid a price for doing it & the hospital weren't good about it!

My husband is my carer 24/7 with no support or help from others, plus he's got other things going on so it's no wonder that our tempers will be frayed @ times

Tiggerakafidgity profile image
Tiggerakafidgity in reply to

Hi Hero

I don’t want to pee on your flames but they most probably won’t call.

The way I do it is go to your mental health centre say you want to see the triage or mental health nurse and sit and sit and sit until they make a call for you to the relevant ppl.

I’ve sat for 4 hrs before it worked

I believe.

“Out of site out of mind”

Not always there fault,there just aren’t enough of them to deal with all the situations.

Wouldn’t it be good if they had a mental health plastering room.

Like when you break a bone,you get ushered in and with in 10 mins your plasterd and out again a little like a car wash lol

Little humour there to soften the blow.

I know how disappointed you may feel in them not calling you.

I think from what I read in the NICE guide lines if your in the uk which I think you are.if you call up for an emergency call back from mental health team it has to be 24 hrs

After that it’s basically breaking every rule in the book.

If I were you I would call them first and if no joy say politely if the relevant person is on the grounds I am going to come down and sit and wait.

Here i have copy and pasted a nice guideline of an unpaid career for a family member

You can use this ACT to remind them of the support you need

Carer's assessment

Anyone who is an unpaid carer for a family member or friend has the right to discuss their own needs with their local authority, separate to the needs of the person they care for. This is a statutory requirement under the Care Act 2014. Carers can discuss anything they think would help with their own health and wellbeing or with managing other aspects of their life, including their caring role. The local authority uses this information to decide what help it can offer.

I hope this helps

in reply to Tiggerakafidgity

The Police promised me in that going to them that they would contact me, but I doubt they will & it feels like a complete waste of time & yes I'm well & truly disappointed

My husband has now got Carers Allowance & is recognised as my carer, but I've got other health problems as well including having a 2nd stroke the day after

I last had mental health help back in 2016 & slipped through the net when I returned back to work, but I am unable to work now due to 2 strokes

There is a dropin centre for mental health problems that I can go to & once it reopens I'm gonna be going back to, but I dunno if they can offer further help, they do call once a wk, every wk to see how I'm doing

You may also like...

I had a really bad childhood and it keeps haunting me what should I do?

Is it bad?!!

i didn't know what to say and i said the first thing in my mind, it wasn't even a critic, it was...

I am really really scared

My husband is supposed to be my carer. I say supposed because he is on paper but not practically....

I’m really struggling today

stage now where I’m really struggling not to end things, over 3 weeks have past since me and the ex...

Why are the mornings so bad?

When I get up, I usually feel pretty bad - I often end up just stuck in front of the TV or sitting...