Bad News

[crazycara]

Hey guys, sorry I haven't kept everyone up to date for a while.

Turns out, I didn't get the job I've basically been dreaming off for a student still in University. 'Parcelforce' have lost my suitcase. I'm completely and utterly skint. And to top it all off arguments with my boyfriend. Plus an essay to do in now one day... I haven't even started it.

I'm feeling utter shit, literally keep on and off crying. I feel numb inside. Then hurt for ages. Can't sleep because of it all. So much anger and frustration. I've been looking for a job since October... And nothing. No one wants to hire me. I'm at my wits end. Feel like pulling my hair out. My weights at an all time high. I've got the doctors tomorrow to see what they say as 4 stone in 1 and a half years is NOT normal no matter if I'm not 'obese'. Why don't they tackle the problem now rather then push me away and wait for me to be that big?

If they push me away tomorrow, I'm actually scared of my reaction. I think I'm gonna explode and probably hit them. Feel helpless and useless. Been trying to keep positive but it's all proving too much. I'm having such bad anxiety it's unreal. I've never suffered that badly, just a bit but now it's like all over the place.

Just wish someone would hand me a job that I need desperately, then I can work steadily on other things.

[gardengnome]

can you ask for an extension for compassionate reasons? Are the consequences of not handing in the essay any worse than a fail?

Your last post mentioned an application for a travel adviser, exciting positions like that must have a lot of competition. might have to compromise and take up a more mundane job for the moment to fund your studies, but no reason why you can not also at the same time keep your eyes peeled for something better

[crazycara in reply to gardengnome]

I could do, but they would ask for evidence really and I don't have any? I mean what could I say? I didn't get the job I really wanted! lol I wish I could, but best to just knock it out if I can.

I have been looking at such low level jobs it's almost not worth it, that was the only high competition job i went for and I'm devastated I didn't get it.

Thanks though x

[Gambit62]

Good luck with the doctor - have you had a blood test to check that you don't have a thyroid problem - underactive thyroid can result in weight gain - but you'd also be expected to feel the cold a lot more.

Jobs after uni are always difficult, often because people want to employ someone who has some experience and generally people straight out of uni aren't in that position. Sometimes it feels like a catch 22 as a job gives you experience but you can't get the job without the experience ... so you need to find some other way of getting the experience. Volunteering might help if you can find the right organisation - and if it is travel industry you want to go to it may sound like it will be impossible but National Trust organise volunteer breaks for people and there are organisations out there that help with arranging breaks for the less well off and for people with disabilities - just an idea.

Hope the suitcase turns up soon and also that you manage to get the essay done - know it sounds like a tall order but lots of people seemed to thrive on doing essays at the last moment when I was at college.

[crazycara in reply to Gambit62]

I have always thought maybe a thyroid could be a problem, but I'm not too sure, I do have quite a bit of the symptoms though and may bring it up to the doctor. Unfortunately I didn't make it to the doctors this morning, annoyingly I'm gonna have to wait until after the weekend I guess. The only problem I have with bringing up the thyroid is that I'm terrified of needles and pain, and I know they'd send me to a blood test. But then I guess if I finally want to sort this weight out, I'm gonna have to do it.

Yes! I completely agree with the catch 22 bit, I always have said it's stupid how the system works, they expect you to work for nothing when you're fresh out of University and in mountains of debt -.-

x

[Gambit62 in reply to crazycara]

Does your doctor know that you have a phobia of needles - might be worth mentioning if not - one of my neighbours had CBT to help her over her phobia

[crazycara in reply to Gambit62]

its not really a phobia of needles, its more pain, i hate pain lol but I'll give it a mention x

[Gambit62 in reply to crazycara]

I don't mind injections but experience a lot of pain with some blood tests - can just feel the needle in there ... however my experience is also that the nurses who do a lot of blood tests are usually much better at getting the needle in so the pain is an awful lot less then when a doctor who doesn't do it very often 'has a stab'.

[Jamie186]

Hi crazycara,

Last tine we spoke you were waiting for the result of the interview, I'm so so sorry, you did not get it as it seemed the perfect answer to your problems. However there's lot's of competition out there. I't could have been someone with lots of experience that was successful. You don't seem to be very lucky lately having lost your suitcase, and your other problems.It's no wonder your feeling so down. My experience in life is when things seem at their worse, try and be positive not easy, but worth a try, your boyfriend will soon be back, then, big make up,, plenty of kisses. Your essay, can you get it deferred? on the truthful reason you've been ill. That only leaves the job, according to this mob in charge and job statistics, the job market is improving. I am a great believer in kismet, or fate just keep looking until you find what you want.

I am retired now but all through my life I have met obstacles and opportunities,including terrible depression I've gone around the obstacles, looked at the opportunities turned down some or taken other's. I've been very lucky and I'm going to send you some of my luck, so from now on, just watch your luck change for the better, you can keep it, as I've

enough for the two of us.

To be serious, I wish you all my very best wishes.

Jamie xxx

[crazycara in reply to Jamie186]

Haha I would love some good luck coming my way. I always seem to have bad luck, cloud hanging over my head and thats not just my depression talking. It's true. Unfortunately. So good luck is completely welcome!

Thank you, Hope you are ok?

x