I'm having a real bad day today. I'm tired, mentally and physically. My whole body aches and the thoughts in my head reflect that, I'm trying not to take notice but it's so hard.
I had a crap sleep last night, well lack of. My husband was working the night so I was on my own at home. After the kids went to bed, my anxiety went through the roof, it hasn't been that bad in months. Every tiny sound.. the boiler making a noise, the cat running around downstairs, everything made me even more anxious and made me feel like something bad was going to happen.
It started to rain at 12pm just as I was drifting off, 2 hours after I went to bed, and it scared the hell out of me. It shocked me back into consciousness, my heart sunk and I feared for the worst. That continued all night, I barely slept.
I don't feel anxious this morning, just drained. I have so much to do in the house, but I don't even have the energy to get off the sofa. I feel "absent" in my mind, I find myself just staring into nothing, thinking about nothing. I have so much self doubt at the moment, it feels like I'll never be able to pull myself out of this.
I don't really know what I want out of this post, I just really needed to vent and get it out there instead of bottling it up.
Hope everyone is having a much better day than I am.
Written by
JWalk27
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Hi sorry you are feeling so bad. You don't say whether you have seen your doctor and if not then make an appointment and tell them what is going on. There is help out there and you have just got to access it. x
It sounds like you are having a bit of a tough time of at the moment. Are you getting any help from your doctor or mental health team? If you have not seen them for a while maybe it's time to have a review with them about how you are doing, your medications, and any strategies or therapies you could access. Maybe drawing up a crisis plan with them might be helpful.
Check out more information about EUPD here, and ways to care for yourself:
Have you discussed your Anxiety with your GP, it is important you are at peace with yourself. You can try MINDFULNESS Relaxation Technique, you can get a book from Amazon for £7;00. Breathing Techniques may also help as well.
If you are alone I find listening to music is a good idea, on You Tube, they have a fantastic selection of all different types, eventually they begin to know your likes then they group the music you prefer as a program of likes. I have about five likes now and I generally listen to one after eleven to twelve, before bed, it does seem to help me.
Sometimes in the past I would read a few pages before sleep normally escapist reading. Now with my Chronic Memory Disorder I have picture books of where we have been over the years. Looking at nice photographs helps me sleep with happy memories I have lost
My GP is fully aware of all of my troubles, I'm lucky to have such an understanding and empathetic Doctor.
I've been in touch with Mental Health services, which have done me great good in the past. I attended a RELAY (Regulating Emotions & Looking After Yourself) Group last year, and it was brilliant, I still use particular methods now. Unfortunately I moved in Aug '18 into a new County, and there isn't much here.
I had an episode just before Christmas, I was severely depressed and unfortunately self harmed. I was rushed to Hospital as I needed urgent care and stitches all down my wrist. I had a Mental Health assessment in A&E, they said that I would benefit from talking to their team and that someone from them would be in touch in the following weeks... I still haven't heard anything.
I have Spotify and have a mass amount of playlists on there. I bought a new mattress last week, and it was delivered yesterday. I have to say I slept better last night than what I have in months, so maybe that was part of the problem.
JWalk
Pleased you are taking those actions that help yourself, I am very much the same although at this time going through a Crisis not of my own making. That has knocked me back However the problem . I need to make further positive changes that I will be sad to do.
Pathways dictated to others should be not followed, if the pathway is destructive. I need to now feel I am in control of my own Life. That of course stands for everyone who suffers from Mental Health concerns
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