The first time I met my partner's mother (we'll call her HR) it was really weird. I see things that aren't there sometimes, and was having flare ups at that time. She asked me what I saw, and started going into how my aura is very jagged and how she's never seen that before. HR continued to ask about my mental health and what growing up was like. I was hesitate but answered her questions, I always straight-forward questions honestly, but it was still weird.
HR was friendly with me for a while. She always goes on about how honest and open she is. However, that couldn't be less true. I'm a lesbian, and my partner is non-binary pansexual. And my partner's sibling is also non-binary. The both of them are annoyed as hell with their mother for being transphobic. HR is constantly making rude comments and making them both feel like shit.
I've confronted HR about one of her comments about my partner and my home one day. I've added the message to this post. I don't remember the exact date, but it was late October. I was so angry I deleted the other messages, and luckily found this one. I know it doesn't look bad, and I didn't think it was either at the time.
Ever since then she hasn't talked to me unless my partner needs her to. Even now when HR is helping find a new place to live (which I appreciate) she is telling my partner to not tell me anything about the homes they are both seeing together. But then asks my partner to ask me questions about if my parents can help, etc.
Every time I confront HR or even ask my partner to ask HR a question for me, if it annoys HR, she takes it out on my partner. HR will send angry emails, text messages, or meet up with them to belittle them. I just want to know why I can't talk to HR and figure out why she doesn't like me. HR confronts everyone about everything, but if I do it to her, she blows up on everyone around her.
I don't want to make things worse, but HR is stressing my partner and their sibling out to the max. My partner had their first stage performance drag race last night (THEY DID AMAZINGGGG) and started crying afterwards because they invited their mother, but HR started making excuses and chose not to come. There was mothers of the other drag kings/queens and were supporting them so much, but it made my partner realize more that their mother doesn't support them. They've known that for a long time, but when something they are super proud of happens and their mother won't come, it definitely hurts them a lot.
I want to meet up with HR and talk to her, not start an argument, but ask her why she is treating me this way. But I don't want my partner to get yelled at for it again. I'm not sure what to do. I've always been the person to confront someone being rude/mean, and doing it by not arguing or being petty. But when I try, someone else gets an ear-full. HR won't talk to me about it, so I want to ask to meet up with her. My partner's sibling tells me how their mother is constantly complaining about me, and moaning about how I'm to defensive over my partner.
Does anyone have any ideas? Please let me know. My health is getting much worse, and its taking a toll on my partner and I immensely. I just want to do anything to get the stress out that I can.