Anxiety by proxy?

[Blondie2311]

Hello! It’s been a while since I posted and in theory I guess I could say things are better but I’m not 100% this is true. The issues surrounding me and my personal circumstances are ticking along as well as can be expected but my anxiety has majorly flared up due to other members of my family and their circumstances and how much I want to help them but can’t because they either won’t let me or think they can’t.

In short my sibling is going through a pretty messy time, separating from their partner, trying to coparent their children, renovating a new home and now they gone and found out they are expecting another child which was not planned and everything they have said makes me think they don’t want the child. I don’t know how to help them but want to so much I know how much this will affect their mental health and this is giving me anxiety. I feel like a terrible sister for wanting them to get rid of the baby or losing the baby but only because I know/think this is what they want.

See what I mean by anxiety by proxy??

Just feeling like a terrible person for wishing this for them and the anxiety is really effecting me as I want to help them but don’t know how.

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I give my brother a rest, by cooking for him and talking. Our relationship is based on me and he makes showy efforts and not caring effort. You have to take things as they are and cannot do more than that, even though you want something more caring for instance. They take advantage of you but do you get a return, is my meaning, probably not. You should not put all your burdens on another shoulder especially as they are the type that don't cope with this, just see them make some decisions all by themselves, is necessary in the relationship.