Guilty Pleasure

[matt_mardock]

Have anyone done imagine yourself in unreal scenario just to feel better by laying on bed afterward not wanting to do things that one is suppose to do and then feeling guilt about whole but next day do exactly the same again.....apparently if not then that makes me unique.Can be seen as guilty pleasure as at the moment of weakness as best thing to do but deep down know it's not. If someone dealt with this in past plz give tips to overcome this .....

[Hidden]

Sounds like depression n using distraction to me.i do that daily...its coping with what u have the best way u can...then its guilt ur not a normal productive citizen.

[matt_mardock in reply to Hidden]

but i been in state of depression for long time so i have no problem dealing it with is past but suddenly im not able to do that anymore......so i kind off need some reset to get back to before.....so i any advice

[Hidden in reply to matt_mardock]

Different distraction techniques..change it up..otherwise i know i fall deeper in the hole .Fake it till ya make it.

Me..im all about humor..more sarcastic,raunchier,nuttier distracts me n helps enormously.

Laughter is the best meds.

[c-mac in reply to matt_mardock]

If I can force myself outside, literally dragging one step after the other, and maybe walk in the park, maybe try to buy an apple at the grocery, whatever can get you into the role of someone who is out and about. Talking to people who I don't want to know I'm depressed helps me, because I act more like I'm not depressed, and then ... fake it til you make it!

BUT ... what you're describing about lying on the bed and feeling guilty, but also kind of comfortable, is what led me to start taking medicine. Way too much of my time was spent on that bed. On medicine I can still get depressed, but if I see it coming I can go on that walk, or watch that comedian, and head it off.

[wallflower_fairy]

Hi Matt,

I think it's really brave that you spoke out about this.

What you describe sounds like Maladaptive Daydreaming. From what I know, it's more common than people think.

Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder (MDD) isn't in any diagnostic manual (yet) but people are talking about it. You're not alone. Essentially, people lose a lot of their day lost in a daydream - to some people it can be reallly vivid - and not manage to get stuff done as a result.

I would imagine it would turn into a cycle, because it would appear to be linked to wanting, for whatever reason, to escape reality. Maybe the guiltier you feel, the more you find yourself daydreaming to escape the guilt, making the guilt itself even worse.

Furthermore, as the everything you haven't managed to get done builds up, the harder it is to face, so you may feel even more of a pull to daydream. It's hard.

But you've recognised and acknowledged this, and you're reaching out which can only be a positive.

I wonder what it is you may be avoiding, whether you've been under any stress recently that may have triggered the beginning of this and/or whether there's another underlying mental health issue, like Depression. I say Depression because lying on your bed a lot could be linked to a lack of motivation, which is part of Depression, as is the feeling of guilt.

When people become Depressed, they lose interest in activities they used to enjoy, so excessive daydreaming could be activating the reward system in your brain that you're not otherwise able to get in normal to day to day activities.

I would suggest seeing your GP (primary care doctor) and telling them how you're feeling. They may need to do a blood test to rule out anything physical which could mimic Depression (like an under active thyroid).

Assuming you get a diagnosis of Depression, they then may discuss anti-depressant medication with you, which might give you the motivation you need to start getting yourself back on track, and maybe some talking therapy to help you manage whatever may be going for you in your life.

But you're definitely not alone. We all daydream a bit. It might not be exactly the same as what you experience, but I personally find I lose a lot of time in the bath or shower imagining a future script for a TV series I've been (slightly binge) watching (on box set), or imagining myself as a character in it.

My (now ex) boyfriend ghosted me in the New Year (i.e. stopped replying to me) and it's knocked my confidence and trust in people and I feel lonely (especially now as it's Valentine's Day tomorrow). I've just noticed I haven't wanted to interact with people. I don't want to say the wrong thing by accident and cause them to reject me. I don't want to get close to anyone new in case they leave me and I get hurt again. I've been let down before this.

...So I found solace in this show. I could focus all my admiration on the main character (as well as identify with them) who could never hurt me because they're fictional.

It started off by helping a lot and made me feel better as I wasn't thinking about how hurt I felt by my ex - I was completely absorbed in this other world. It was the perfect painkiller. (The hurt over my ex isn't the only thing I'm finding difficult at the moment but it's definitely a factor.) My comfort blanket. It made me go all warm and gooey, just fantasizing about it or watching it. I had something to look forward to every night. I just didn't - and in a way still don't - want to leave this fantasy world.

However, now I think I might be taking it too far. I don't want to give up watching the show altogether because I enjoy it, but I've been noticing that I'm resenting anything that's taking me away from the fantasy, including uni. And that's not me at all - I usually, and underneath still do, love my course. And, obviously, I have to focus on studying as not doing so will impact my future negatively.

Even with this fictional book I'm reading that I've been enjoying, occasionally I'll find my mind wandering away from the plot of the book and back into my fantasy of the TV programme (which has nothing to do with the book I'm reading right now - and is actually really frustrating).

I guess I'm just sharing my story so both of us feel less alone.

I think when anything initially pleasurable starts to become a guilty pleasure that it becomes an issue. I think when you lose interest in anything other than that one thing then it's also an issue. And I think when one is using it to escape reality it's an issue too.

I know I need to find the strength to face up to reality and regain balance in my life, but it's really hard. I feel like everytime I try, I keep getting knocked down. So I get it. I really do.

I did get a bit tearful today for the first time about my ex, so maybe that's a sign I'm ready to grieve and I'm on the road to recovery.

But I've been feeling really emotional and easily irritated which is making it harder to cope day to day. I feel demotivated and lethargic. I don't want to face anyone, I just want to be left alone to watch my programme. But this isn't healthy, and the guilt is starting to outweigh the pleasure, so I have to try.

I'm thinking of going to my GP and maybe asking her to up my medication a little, just to keep me on an even keel to get through this semester of uni...

We don't have to cope with this on our own, we can get support.

Please speak to someone about what's bothering you... you may not know and that's okay, but please speak to someone about how you've been feeling. I'm sure whatever it is, it isn't insurmountable, especially with support. And that you're stronger than you think.

I hope soon we can both find a way to start enjoying real life again. Thankyou for sharing and giving me the courage to share.

Xx

[matt_mardock in reply to wallflower_fairy]

Wow!!! U are just amazing .......Let me just start by saying this whoever the guy was he was stupid for ghosting someone like u from what i can get out from reading the post is u are someone who is 'caring and thoughtful 'and most importantly who is very 'strong' i think that is the quality in people that other should also appreciate more and more.

Now this MDD thing i looked into(Thnx to your spot on observation skils) it also and it somewhat similar to situation im currently facing which is awesome!!!!.......Don't get me wring here, i saying it is awesome because now that it know disorder that makes thing easier in the sense that all i have to beat this......And now a know that it not some vague condition but something people suffer from(I feel bad for them)which implies that im same boat as many other out there and now i can take step in direction beating it.

My story is pretty straightforward, it is just i have to take step in direction of self improvement but not able, in the past able was able to do get things with ease and whenever it face this MDD i just take time off my daily routine and deal with it just by watching stuff and by playing games i.e entry mode of deep slumber and eventually this MDD things goes away but those where different circumstances, now i don't have that same amt of time as i used in past. Sad but what that is life is things getting replaced by more important things.

I m kind off person that strive under pressure but sometimes that pressure just become too much but rather than going under it, i always think the best way to face the overwhelming pressure i to get things is taking baby steps however bad the situation is, 'Key is not to break under the pressure'.

I also daydream from time to time during the day thinking of some fantasy world where I m most power character, I know this is lame but this makes me feel important .....I don't how many can relate with this but i sometimes think i need to do some sort of amazing stuff in order to help as many lives possible this way i will fulfill my life purpose rather than my current lame life of doing things the way everyone is doing.. It just an escape which is i took.

From which i snap lot of easily when something important comes or by talking to friends .......about some stuff or itself.

But this MDD stuff i just can't snap out of whatever i do, there is point when i hit it, it just like point of no return of black holes. If i reach it i just get sucked deep into it and without realizing i already wasted my day and all tasks are just left.

Right is doing online counseling to figure out ways to stop reaching 'The point' so i get stuff done and also reason of for MDD which is mostly due to unhappiness and loneliness which might have morphed into depression. I m pretty sure i have but staying in state of denial might also be way of dealing with depression. So I hope i don't have Depression.......

This feeling of being wanted to be left alone i sometimes also want this but deep down i know it bad but i guess we want what we want no matter the consequences. I also get knocked by life on daily basis but i think i have reached a point from where things can't get worse after so many things happened so now i try to solve as one problem at a time and think after some time i might be able to see light on the other side of the this dark tunnel.

Atleast i Hope so ................So i guess what i want to convey is don't give up start with very smalls things like getting early in morning even if u sleep more than 10hrs but try to get up then freshen up and go for stroll ........I think key is getting up early because it paves path for all other things as u have much more time if u wake up later the day.After that make a TODO list which may be as basic as basic it can but try to complete it.From personally experience i think it work i can safely say I have get past the point of not wanting to do anything. Now things are starting are also looking up. I think key is Not to give up..............But also so happens after half of day i hit the 'point of no return' and rest of day goes to shit which i think is okay!!!But still get up daily with same hope of making the day without reaching that point.

I still haven't reached the back to usual routine but i keep it up, i might.

Try this if u want and also do share result if this can helps other it will make me feel good which is pretty selfish but still.

It also happen so i also grad student so i also know sometime it get difficult to get through sem.

I also have same hope as u that we can get back to enjoying life again.

One last think, i never been in relationship my whole life so i don't know what so special about valentine,being single is not still not that bad ........if it makes u feel good.

Keeping somewhere back in mind that it will be much more special when we meet someone special.

If u still don't want to feel alone today feel free to drop message. I do have day planned with my single friends .....going to concert and party all night. And making as many couples uncomfortable by guys starring the guy and girl starring girl and giving them signals.......We have see how that goes.

[c-mac in reply to matt_mardock]

That MDD is really interesting. I've had Bipolar II for 30 years, and for the first 10 the depression felt terrible and sad and anxious, but after starting to take medicine, if my medicine isn't right, it's like I'm just in a somewhat comfortable (!) haze of inaction. I get into something not useful, and don't do a thorough job of it anyway, but I stay in the apartment and stay preoccupied. It's basically a daydream, and I'm entirely unmotivated, neglect family and meals, etc.