Sick of down playing how I feel

[StevenB22]

I’m seeing my CPN next week and honestly I’ve had enough. I’m sick of not saying how I feel about my whole situation. I’ve been dealing with my problems since I was 13 years old. Now tell me what child deserves to be depressed / suicidal at 13? It’s been 5 years now and it’s only gotten worse. I’ve had therapy and now have to wait until February for some more, but honestly I don’t think I’ll make it until then. I’m going to explain to my CPN the morbid reality of my thought process and situation. The truth is, if I do not get help, medication or a diagnoses soon, I will kill myself. People may see that as a threat and for attention but I’ve missed my childhood and parts of my future due to this demon in my head. I refused to drink or do drugs so I’m suffering sober despite how many times I’ve considered them. I can’t work, I can’t gain weight, I can’t socialise and not because I don’t try, I put myself in those situation but the paranoia and anxiety out ways the benefits.

[Missy_D]

Honesty is always the best plan, especially with CPN / Psychiatrist / Psychologist. Are you prepared for all potential outcomes? If you are the UK then make sure you have the numbers for your CRISIS Team, SPoA (Single Point of Access for Mental Health Team), and both office and out of office numbers for the mental health team. Don't forget that there are many charities that have telephone support for when you are feeling really bad. The Samaritans and Mind are 2 that are not geographically specific. Really hope you get the help you clearly so desperately need x

[StevenB22 in reply to Missy_D]

Yeah I am prepared for all outcomes, nothings really left for me, to be honest I’m only staying alive so everyone else can be at ease and happy, just feels like I’m on auto pilot and just existing because I have too. Thank you for your reply. x

[Missy_D in reply to StevenB22]

Existing is hard (I also just exist) but I have learnt that is is in preference to dying x

[kenster1]

hi steven be open be honest and don't hold back and don't play it down your openness and honesty with your cpn is the first steps in your recovery.

[tombouy46]

Steve. When you go in to see your cpn. Sitdown and tell him or her exactly how you feel. Why you holding it back. But please do it in a calm way. And if it were me. I wouldn't leave the office unless you felt you truly got somewhere. See new doc. See another therapist, Remember. You can always go to the Emergengy room if you feel your not getting anywhere. Alot of times. They are the best people to set you up with the right people. Please spill all your feelings next week. Just to get all that shit out of your belly, your brain. You will feel better. Let me know how you make out. Please. Ok. Good luck steve

[StevenB22 in reply to tombouy46]

Thank you very much

[Russty]

Hi as others have said , it can be emotionally difficult but be as open and honest as you can to the medical professionals assisting you. The more open honest you are the better able and hopefully quicker they will be to assist you towards a better quality of health. It took me a bit of time to realise that there is nothing I can say , that an experienced therapist has not heard before , and more well done for not doing drugs and being aware you require some assistance . Deserve yourself a pat on the back and some self kindness :). Perhaps think about some personal interests and hobbies you might like to pursue to improve your personal enjoyment in life and help ease overcome anxiety . And maybe discuss these ideas with your councillors for their assistance. Goodluck Steve

[StevenB22 in reply to Russty]

Thank you very much, this reply means a lot

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Steven

If you are not telling your CPN how you feel and what has caused your mental health Concern how are they supposed to help you move on by approaching your concerns.

You need to talk out and explain your fears and concerns. I do not know if you are on medications or if a further treatment plan has been drawn out, the problem is CBT is fast becoming rationed and if the first tranche of treatment is over you will end up going on a long list for treatments once more.

We can help, although your problem now is to grasp your worries and work out how to correct your negative thoughts.

In my case after my last Therapist, I was shown how to address my concerns by talking about them, and working out what my needs were. Consider your needs and hopefully you will move on

All I can suggest is Relaxation Technique, Mindfulness, that may calm your mood. You can purchase a book on Amazon for about £7;00 STG

You can also learn how to approach and correct your worries and concerns. Try isolating your problems in one section. Break up each section into small bites and try and correct each bite of that problem, when you get stuck move onto the next concern, small bites and carry on correcting. Now when you feel you can sort out an earlier section bite return there when you know how to correct it. Eventually you will gain confidence and your problems will become smaller and smaller until most are sorted

BOB