What I learn from Journaling

[Coolsfancy]

I’m going to preface this post by stating that I’m not here to say I’m all that, I’m not, however 20 years ago I had my first and only psychotic episode.

It changed my life. It involved me during my psychosis to commit a first degree felony and I was indicted for a period of 10 years.

I went to trial and the judge found me Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity or other NGRI.

So with that history in mind I just want to tell you what helps me. I’m an English major so what I have found is I journal. Some days it might be a sentence, others it might be an entire page or pages.

I have lost my entire immediate family and then my boyfriend of 13 years I lost this January to brain cancer. There’s been a lot of journaling going on. When I write even to this day it helps when I go back and read and see how far I’ve come.

This is not to say that I don’t take meds, I do.

And I have the same Forensic psychiatrist I’ve had since my trial.

But I have to put in the work too. Otherwise to think my meds and my psychiatrist is going to be all I have to do is not only not taking responsibility for myself but it’s reckless.

Again I’m just talking about me, I’m not lecturing. But I’ve learned what helps me and what doesn’t.

I’ve been fortunate enough to get 3 accreditation’s for the National Alliance for Mental Illness, or NAMI for short. So I volunteer my time. It’s been rough with Covid because I’m not doing that right now.

But telling my story to the police or other first response has really helped me get over any shame I’ve had about being Bipolar.

So just to end, I know my circumstances are only mine and not yours, but don’t be so hard on yourself and believe in yourself no matter what anyone else thinks about you.

[Coolsfancy]

Thanks for the hugs I appreciate your response

[Coolsfancy]

Thank You for the opportunity to talk. I’m still to some degree grieving over the loss of my boyfriend but I’ve had so much loss, my entire immediate family passed away in a 4 year period. My sister especially I don’t know if I’ll ever get over. She had a seizure disorder and she woke up on a Wednesday had a seizure and fell and hit her head. Lights out!!!That was it.

My most special cat I had for 14 years and she outlived my family and my boyfriend. I had to put her down in August of this year. She was the total embodiment of everybody I loved.

I recently got a brand new 5 month old kitten. I decided I had grieved enough and needed a new chapter in my life.

I went to the shelter with a certain cat in mind but she didn’t pick me so I ended up with my kitten and named him Tigger.

So all is not lost.

Covid has stricken everyone in some way or another.

Particularly the way I volunteer I really miss.

I’m sorry I just needed to talk, so thank You again and feel free to talk to me if you so desire.

[Hidden in reply to Coolsfancy]

Welcome Coolheart,

I come on this site to put something back for all the treatment I have had throughout My Life. My problem is I am getting older and that causes me to restrict access to some sites that I used to visit, also Health Service Think Tanks. It is also important that we all work at our interests that gives us all the feeling we are doing some good. Hopefully if you contribute here it will make you feel more whole in your outlook and move on to a happier place in your Life

BOB

[Hidden in reply to Coolsfancy]

You have really been put through the ringer, I am sorry for your losses, it can take some time to recover from family deaths. Pets are dearly missed when they pass over, My past dog was a Pat Dog in Mental Health Day centres and when He died it was a great upset to the members and family alike.

We have another dog now He has been with us ten years. This dog is a Collie, has a different attitude than our terrier Pip. Named Pax, a Collie

he is more an individual and very bright.

I hope Tigger will help you come around from your Mental Health worries and concerns. Pets are a great comfort, they divert our thoughts and fears to a more positive place

BOB

[Coolsfancy in reply to Hidden]

Thank You for your kind words .

[Mammamia2]

Wow, you have really been through so much, bless you. My heart goes out to you. I'm interested in your journaling. I used to do it when I was having a bad day, just wondering about getting back into it. I'm very lonely and don't really have many people to talk to so maybe this may help me too. Sending you hugs x

[Coolsfancy in reply to Mammamia2]

Just my opinion but if you want to get back into journaling try first buying a spinal bound book. It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money but try to find one that visually you find appealing. Some of my favorite books have come from TJ Max or Homegoods.If you’re not close to one of those, I’ve recently bought one from Walgreens.

And I would just start writing ✍️ not necessarily think it out, but just write whatever comes to mind.

I don’t know about your living situation as far as privacy but I have a mindset about my journal that it’s mine and I feel free to write about whatever or whoever I want. In treating it that way I have the upmost respect for it since it contains my innermost thoughts and feelings.

I hope this helps. It’s just what I have found that keeps me writing and for me to keep going forward in good times and bad.😎

[Natalie10]

Journaling is wonderful thing today. I been Journal on and off for years but since lockdown I have continue with it.