I’m going to preface this post by stating that I’m not here to say I’m all that, I’m not, however 20 years ago I had my first and only psychotic episode.
It changed my life. It involved me during my psychosis to commit a first degree felony and I was indicted for a period of 10 years.
I went to trial and the judge found me Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity or other NGRI.
So with that history in mind I just want to tell you what helps me. I’m an English major so what I have found is I journal. Some days it might be a sentence, others it might be an entire page or pages.
I have lost my entire immediate family and then my boyfriend of 13 years I lost this January to brain cancer. There’s been a lot of journaling going on. When I write even to this day it helps when I go back and read and see how far I’ve come.
This is not to say that I don’t take meds, I do.
And I have the same Forensic psychiatrist I’ve had since my trial.
But I have to put in the work too. Otherwise to think my meds and my psychiatrist is going to be all I have to do is not only not taking responsibility for myself but it’s reckless.
Again I’m just talking about me, I’m not lecturing. But I’ve learned what helps me and what doesn’t.
I’ve been fortunate enough to get 3 accreditation’s for the National Alliance for Mental Illness, or NAMI for short. So I volunteer my time. It’s been rough with Covid because I’m not doing that right now.
But telling my story to the police or other first response has really helped me get over any shame I’ve had about being Bipolar.
So just to end, I know my circumstances are only mine and not yours, but don’t be so hard on yourself and believe in yourself no matter what anyone else thinks about you.