So, I feel my partner is playing with my emotions and I can’t cope! One minute we are ok and even giggling and having fun, then he can be totally different and completely off with me. I’m currently having CBT and I warned him I was told it will get worse before it gets better. Yet the slightest thing I do or say, get wrong, Miss-hear etc etc he jumps down my throat! I’ve told him I’m really anxious and down at the moment yet it seems like he just doesn’t care.
All of this is only worsening how I’m feeling right now, it makes me feel even more in secure, more doubtful of my decisions, scared to open my mouth and just keep losing saying I’m fine.. I could go on but I’m sure you get the idea lol, I just don’t know what to do. He really frustrates me, nothing I say seems to make any difference so I feel like I’m just getting everything worth. To say it’s frustrating is an understatement 😢
Written by
Lynzhoppy1
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Hello, It's possible your partner might be feeling a little defensive right now. He might be imagining you and your therapist placing blame on him. Maybe you shouldn't discuss your sessions with him and if he asks just say you have early issues you aren't ready to share.. Later he might be more receptive to the idea, but I've always kept my sessions to myself. Pam
I don’t discuss my therapy with him as he just doesn’t ask! There’s nothing he doesn’t know about me so knows why I’m having therapy, I do believe he is quite insecure himself so makes me wonder if that’s having an impact at the moment.. I don’t know though, I just can’t figure him out
You say he is defensive and argumentative. You might be right about him being insecure. Sounds like a defense mechanism.
I thought women were the hard ones to figure out. 😊
Sorry this is happening.
Can you discuss with your cbt therapist.
If you are having cbt and your relationship is affecting you I would think your therapist would benefit from having an insight on what is going on..
Relationships can be complex things , people have many different reasons for why they act as they do .., which can be very indivual to them, that require working on by both parties possibly.
Yes I will discuss it with her, we have previously discussed him and our relationship.
If he’d open up to me a bit instead of just being so defensive and argumentative I might understand a bit more, but as it stands at the moment I can’t see that happening.
I feel like by hearing this does your partner have issues too? Because it sounds like it maybe anger issues because I feel with my anxiety sometimes I can just flip and it’s totally unreasonable and sometimes I can’t justify my actions unfortunately this sounds like him too, he should definitely be more understanding off you and your problems even more so because of what I sense are his too xx
Hello Lynz
Just because you have a mental health problem does not mean you will get worse before getting better.
Considering what I understand of Mental Health sufferers and Partners, sometimes Partners can in some ways feel overwhelmed by your health problem. What I would suggest is try and be a little more positive. If techniques to help you are explained make sure you learn and partake. CBT is a learning period where you will hopefully begin to understand ways of controlling this Health Concern. Control is possible given time and understanding
When it comes to Mental Health people we know see Mental Health Concerns as a sign of weakness, sometimes their outlook towards this problem can show as a lack of education or understanding so they are unable to relate to the situation they find themselves in. They become frightened, their doubts make them over react. This can be a learned problem from their Parents or past, distant experience.
hi & thanks yes I really hope to work through this and heal the issues going on!! Hope same for you! my boyfriend also seems very defensive and argumentative- he understands I have anxiety depression and all!! So I feel you!! I have read some of responses here & some good/ interesting points made it does seem like it can be complex-they could be scared overwhelmed tired dealing with own issues that need healing I guess? Anyway hope we can learn on here and help eachother out in some way-wish you best cause although I don't fully know your situation or health issue and all I do know what it's like having depression/anxiety and trying to make a relationship work well it's tough!!!!!😖
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Should I have been given Zyban/bupropion to treat my anxiety/depression?
Emotional Isolation *Possible Trigger 
Sick of down playing how I feel
My Gf of 6 years left me for another man
My sad, pathetic story
