Help for emotional unstable personality disorder and ocd

[Xxbexx]

Hello, has anyone had any treatment for EUPD? I have this and OCD and panic disorder and I just feel horrible every day. I don’t sleep and cannot eat as I’m struggling with my emotions. I’m having obsessive thoughts over my boyfriend cheating on me and have been really mean to him , I love him so much and I’m just so scared he’s going to do this. I see images of our breakup and it causes me distress. He wants to marry me and I know he loves me but I just cannot get the thoughts out of my head . Last night I went to a bridge as I didn’t want to live anymore but my sister FaceTimed me and I became calm. This morning I woke up in the best mood ever but it became really bad by lunch time with these thoughts, I know this is my EUPD but my emotions are so scary atm I can not control them . I feel trapped and hopeless . I have 3 children that need me to be strong during these hard times but I just feel like a failure . I also have really bad paranoia that a nuclear bomb is going to go off in my town I keep hearing it in my head...I need help ... I’m aware I’m not well atm which I think is a good thing because it gives me a little bit of control . Can anyone suggest anything please

[Kaytee1981]

I've been recently diagnosed with EUPD (dont agree with it but that's not the point here) I've been recommended structured clinical management (SCM) so I'm on the waiting list for that. That was decided after my CPN had consults with the personality disorder team, she wanted me to have DBT but clearly they disagree...I dont know where I stand!!

It does sound like your struggling at the moment and possibly in crisis, do you have someone who can help, professional as well as personal?? Its interesting for me to hear others stories of life with EUPD as I can identify with certain traits but most definitely not with most, your behaviour sounds very much like something I'd do.

Sorry not much help but watching your story with interest x

[Xxbexx in reply to Kaytee1981]

I find it really difficult to be honest, the swings of emotions , literally up and down like a yo-yo. My cpn has started me on sertraline a few weeks ago but I think I need talk based therapy . I’ve always managed it to be honest pretty well for many years but the last few weeks it’s gone bad. Do u wake up depressed and then extremely happy a few hours later? I keep a diary during the day and have a look at the end of the day and it’s frightening tbh how up and down I am. It’s weird. I cling on to my boyfriend one minute then a few hours later I’m wondering if we should go out separate ways. Poor guy 😔. I’ve never heard of SCM I will have a look into it. Thankyou for replying to me it’s good to know I’m not alone x

[Kaytee1981 in reply to Xxbexx]

I dont get those ups and downs which I find weird considering it's one of the main factors in EUPD. I seem to be constantly down since my last suicide attempt 4/5weeks ago.

I'm on a lot of meds, my CPN doesnt agree with them all, I get the impression, but when I saw the psychiatrist last she just increased my pregabalin for my anxiety. I HATE taking the meds.. every day I look at them and detest taking them, if the withdrawal side effects weren't so bad I'd consider not taking them.

My relationship with my husband is hanging on by a thread. His angry at me for the suicide attempts and the affect its had on my children. He hates how I've changed but I just dont even know who I am!

My CPN goes on about change, i can't commit to that when I don't know what needs changing and what I want to be - who I am - I have no sense of self.

I guess its difficult for those around us. When are you seeing your CPN next?

[Kaytee1981]

What makes you say that?

[Kaytee1981]

Do you not think everyone need this in life anyway regardless of personality or personality disorder?? For me I dont generally have a problem with relationships - I've been married for 15yrs for example, I do react a bit oddly at the thought of abandonment. I dont have friends I have acquaintances and work colleagues - everyone I come across isn't mean to me, in fact quite the opposite. I dont see my personality disorder as the result of or because of others behaviour. I guess it's all a personal opinion.

[Kaytee1981]

You dont need to apologise, its healthy for everyone to have their own thoughts and opinions on these topics - they are emotive, personal and we must be open to others ideas - I like to hear what others have to say 😊

[Paula-38]

I have profound contamination OCD and when exposed to my worst fear(s) I then suffer from panic attacks but I avoid those situations in the first place.

[Missy_D]

I was diagnosed with EUPD in December 2015, and although medication can help, it cannot cure. I take both anti depressant and anti psychotic medication.

When I was first diagnosed, my psychiatrist told me that just seeing him would not be beneficial and I should have input from psychology as well as learning for myself.

I had CBT, which helped, but the real breakthrough was completing STEPPS. I learnt so much about my triggers, my thought distortions, my coping strategies and how to manage all of this.

mentalhelp.net/blogs/stepps... and although this is an American site it explains about STEPPS. I strongly suggest you speak to your GP or Mental Health Team about being referred for this programme.

After completing STEPPS I started group therapy, which isn't running due to current circumstances, but I find having the support of others who are also living with mental health illnesses is also beneficial as it proves you are not along. If you are in the UK you might find a suitable group in your area by contacting Mind (they run mine).

Good luck on your EUPD journey, and it is a journey which can have a positive outcome xxx

[Xxbexx]

I need constant reassurance, but it’s not fair on the people around me and I feel like a broken record . I seek the reassurance and feel amazing and loved but only for about an hour, I’m then paranoid and watched everyone’s every reaction and facial expression and if I think they are mad at me or don’t like me it can take me days to get over that upsetting feeling. I feel like I need to get a grip . My OCD thoughts go on for hours at night but it’s not about cleaning or certain rituals it’s more the same thought over and over again I only feel at peace when I am asleep

[Xxbexx]

Thankyou for ur reply and thankyou for the link provided I am going to have a look into it this evening as I’m willing to try anything to change the way I think x

[Annonononon]

I was recently diagnosed with eupd, I suffer bi polar also, the best thing for eupd is cbt and for anxiety Escitalopram and buspirone, symptoms of eupd are anger fear of being alone, trying to latch on to people so they don’t leave, threatening suicide if they do, I feel empty most of the time but I’m getting married and have two kids and have my dream job, things can work out but I have had a relapse recently with a major panic attac. I thought I was dying it was that bad, we all need to talk and help each other get through what we suffer