I've felt very alone my whole life, is this normal ?

[Young_wolf]

I have family, a very close family actually. That for the most part we get along pretty good. I had some friends through school and partied alot in my late teens early 20s. But from a very young age, im talking like 4 years old, iv always felt very alone. I had an older sibling growing up and we are pretty close even though he did beat me up more than much else. Like i said i had friends but i never felt anyone understood me. In my teens i always had this feeling but didnt quite understand what it meant. Now i dont have any friends and if you've seen my previous posts you'll understand why. I also ALWAYS get into the wrong relationships romantic or friend. I always seek out the injured birds, as my mum calls them. I feel like the just gravitate towards me though. I always felt that these types of relationships always left after they found what the needed in me, but yet they all speak so highly of me but never want to be around me much. I find myself these days not really liking anyone enough to form a friendship with, i feel like they just arent my kind of people and it just fizzles out. I suppose i feel like there is no one out there who truly gets me as a person and as i said iv always felt that way. I think this is why i do hold on to bad relationships because any glimmer of them being someone i can relate happens so far and few between i hold on to them for dear life. I've always had a sense that im going to be alone my whole life, you know that deep down pit of your stomack of just knowing, it feels like a devastating truth. Am i not worthy ?

[Hidden]

If you are good at talking, you make more friends - I've noticed my brother has lots and he talks so much!

[Young_wolf in reply to Hidden]

Yeah i am quite a chatty person, i think its just the stuff i chat about that people find boring 🤷‍♀️ i duno. But thanks for your reply.

[Moon_B]

Let me ask you your question: Do you think you are worthy? My guess is that you have a low self-esteem otherwise you wouldn’t doubt your worthiness.

You are worthy and you need to believe it yourself first. I know it’s hard because I was like you once. Sill doubt sometimes but you are not destined of a life of pure loneliness and condemned to be misunderstood forever.

Things do not have to be this way. I don’t know much about your personality but I will guess that you must be someone introverted and very able to,do introspection about yourself and others. It’s a quality but it can also mean that you have higher expectations for yourself. Don’t be hard on yourself and don’t try to please a particular kind of person. Have genuine fun and don’t try to make connections too hard. You will meet meaningful people only when you are ready to let yourself simply be.

Say yes to things you wouldn’t say yes too normally and don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t question your worthiness because you are worthy and the right people will see it. For now, it is a matter to let it go and get out there with the conviction that you are as good as anybody else.

Be kind to yourself and proactive and the right people will gravitate towards you.

The feeling you have down the pit of your stomach isn’t your faith it’s your fear. You decide of your faith and you are not predisposed to be lonely if you don’t want to.

Don’t give up! You are worthy of much more!

[Young_wolf in reply to Moon_B]

No i dont, my mums had this conversation with me before about me having low self esteem. You have really hit the nail on the head but i never put two and two together. You peoples on here are so smart ! 😁❤.

How do you find your worth though ? I know im extremely hard on myself and when things start to go wrong in my life i see it as im failing. Me and my older brother have a 6 year age gap and i rememeber he would get so annoyed at me for not being mature enough to understand how to pay any games with him. He used to call me stupid a lot and fall out with me if i couldn't play. He hit me alot too and my parents just ignored it. I wonder if thats where my self esteem issues started. I was never good enough for him.

And yes your correct again, i am more introverted now than iv ever been and i see alot of things in people that they do not, meaning i can help when asked. A bit like yourself just now lol. I have been saying yes to alot more, however i think i have been trying too hard to get people to like me and you guessed it, its backfiring. I wish i could just be me, i dont know where i lost her and im finding it hard to get her back.

I know i also need to learn how to be kind to myself.... i dont know how you do that either but i think ill make a start there first 😂.

Again i never look at that feeling as just fear ! Wow thank you so much for your response. You've really grounded me again and gave me a focus in my confusion.

[hypercat54 in reply to Young_wolf]

Hi I find it helps when chatting with others to concentrate on putting them at ease then your focus is on them and not yourself. As for your brother he just sounds like a big bully! x

[JEG325]

YOU ARE WORTHY! Listen, I have several close friends and a fiance. But, there is plenty of time I feel alone.

Alone is a feeling buried deep down in your heart. I can be alone in a room with 30 people in it!

The type of alone you feel is rooted in the fact that you don't love yourself. You will never feel safe and secure if you don't love yourself!

It's difficult for other people to understand you if you don't understand you.

Those people who don't love themselves spend their whole lives trying to seek out other people to love them as sort of a bandaid to cover their own lack of self love up.

Often once they find it doesn't work they look for someone new to help in the eternal quest to find love. It's like a druggie looking for their next fix....

[JEG325]

Anyway, I suspect you are really okay and you just need to love yourself more. Once you do you will feel better and not crave other people's love, approval and support as much.

But, I am 58 and I still have flashes of aloneness. I can help you with yours anytime you need someone to talk to.

We can talk this through until you understand what's going on. Okay? Feel free to pm me at anytime. I will listen and I will understand.....

JEG325