I've been so depressed lately about my life and my love life.

Why do every person I care about always leave me...I've only had 1 real relationship in my life before. The very first one last almost 3 years. We broke up after I moved back home, but after we broke up I've been having bad luck in the romance department ever since. Any sort of romantic relationship I attempt to have with anyone I'm interested in always fails. They always leave me heartbroken. This plays on me mentally and emotionally. I would think I'm a great girl (Beautiful, In shape, Smart, Caring, Easy going, Ambitious etc..) I'm not perfect, but I'm sure of myself. A guy will like me the first 2-3 months; we'll date and everything seems fine. Then something always happens and they disappear, and I'm left feeling regretful and confused. Usually they'll cut me off without a word, I'll find out about another woman, I'll learn about their insincere intentions. Why no one would want to commit to me? Maybe it's me, maybe I'm too naive, because I'm a girl who is serious when it comes to things like this. I feel hopeless like I'll always be alone. Is there something wrong with me? Even in High School I never dated and I went to prom without a date. Am I too desperate? I've been single a year now. I'm in my 20's I still live with my parents in their living room. I've been sleeping on the couch a while now. I can't pick myself up and stay up no matter how hard I try. I feel so hopeless. I can barely keep a job, because of the economy in my country. (I live on an island) Things are really hard here. (It's a 3rd world country) I have no money to move anywhere, I'm so broke I don't even own a cell phone. And I'm barely getting by. I just stopped working recently. I don't have anymore friends or a social life. I'm always alone. I feel like I'm not truly wanted by anyone who I happen to care for. My body always breaks down, like I'm always sick with something. (I was born with a immune condition) Ugh I'm just so tired of all this and I've been this way for so long. I have nothing to offer anyone, nothing to give. I'm a failure, it's like I wanna pursue all these goals and I have all these dreams, but I have no way of even trying to achieve them. I lost all motivation and confidence in myself.

[wallflower_fairy]

Hi

I'm sure you make someone a lovely partner but maybe you're just taking relationships a little bit too fast (you say yourself that take these things very seriously). Maybe you just need to calm down a bit, and not try so hard. I think you shouldn't accept a relationship without going on a few dates first, that's the opportunity to for getting to know the other person, getting a 'feel' for them, and seeing what common interests you have so you have an idea of whether the relationship will work or not - without starting the relationship and getting hurt when it doesn't work out. A year isn't that long to be single, sometimes these things take a while - I'VE been single forever (literally as I've never had a boyfriend, and I'm not particularly bothered these days. They say you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. You're really not the only girl in her 20s who feel like this about relationships loads do. Although maybe this isn't just about not having a partner - you're certainly worrying about a combination of things - I think you're feeling lonely in general for other reasons and thinking it's because you don't have a partner.

I'm sorry things are so difficult financially at the moment. Can you and your parents not club together, move somewhere better and start a new life somewhere else? Being ill mustn't help either. Have you been to see a doctor about this - maybe they could help?

I get the feeling this response hasn't been all that helpful, I don't always have the answers on here as everyone's situation is different. But you're not alone here as there will always be someone who will answer and understand. Even if we can't always help.

Gentle hugs,

wanderingwallflower xx

[CarolineLondon]

Hi

Im so sorry you feel like this, you need to take care of yourself now . Take everything one moment at a time, dont think about the future or the past until you feel a bit better, say to yourself I can afford to lose one day and today is just going to be about me feeling calmer, eating what I want, listening to music, reading, watching a film. Baby steps. Then try and realise ALOT of people have been where you are now with relationship problems, work issues etc and some of those people are famous and successful in loving relationships (so you can look them up online, see how they did it), so no need to give up just yet. But please dont try and run before you can walk, take each day as it comes, then give yourself a week a week to recover. If you'd been in a car crash in hospital with minor injuries you'd lose a week in hospital so at least you haven't had the crash but you can afford a week. In that week resolve to do NOTHING...just feel a little better and feel calmer, indulge in your hobby, drawing, singing, reading whatever it is. Right now you cant do anything, you need to get back to who you are. The wonderful talented person you are. If your in a 3rd world country I dont know what help is available but maybe you can go to your doctors and see if there is any free councelling so you can talk to someone or find a local support group, believe me you wont be the only one. Then when you feel a little better and you will, think about learning something new, something you want to learn it will boost your confidence and sense of self esteem. If you can, look online in You Tube for 'TED talks', these are inspirational short talks given by ordinary people like you and me who have found a way to make things work for them or even inspire you. When you feel a little better have a routine, wake, maybe write a list of what you'd like or what you love, write a list of what your grateful for, if you can, meditate, enjoy a breakfast and say today Kawaii I am on holiday and pretend you are, find something nice in your day. You're soooo young I can promise you, you will meet more men and find love. However you don't need to do that this red hot minute right now you need to feel better about you, enjoy your life. Then when your ready the next man will stay because you'll be in a better place mentally. There is NO rush, baby steps, new classes, new friends, new hobbies more fun, new job through new friends, new BF through new job/friends and someone who values you because you have now realised you have a lot to offer and life can be fun.

BABY STEPS...for today just take it one minute at a time, try and feel a little ease. Things I can promise you will get better.

[coatpin]

Right now I dont think you should be looking for someone, as if your down no one but you can fix things, a relationship, will not help.

Work on yourself, maybe see a counsellor in order to get your head sorted. At least to talk to someone outside the circle. Maybe you could work with the counsellor to help you get to where you want to be.

Maybe your depressed?? go see your gp

[quah]

Well you are not alone and yes it is very difficult. I do sympathise with you. I found that I really needed to change myself and my thought processes. I still need to love myself. Once I do I strongly feel my relationship patterns will improve. It's not a straight road though. There will be ups and downs. Please hang in there. Quah x

[Thatboidavis23]

Wow I literally feel the exact same way it's been like this since January..everything is going wrong for me and it just seems out of my control... I lost the only girl I care for in the world and I don't even know how to get her back..hell tomorrow would be our 6 year anniversary and it kills me ..I don't even know what to expect anymore my life seems to be imploding and I just can't stop it.