Every thing is changing ! I still feel the same 😪

[Poohbear76]

Hi all I am so low at the moment feel like I just want to be able to make my children little again. My eldest boy is moving around 400 miles away to star a new job. My other son is going away to university in the same day next week. I am a mum of five and love my family dearly. It seems that with my disabilities I am going to be unable to travel 400 miles. It seems impossible and so sad that he will be so far away. I still have a little one at home, but feel like I am empty inside thinking of two of my children not been near me. I have cPTSD and a chronic pain condition for which I take morphine Naproxen and Paroxetine daily. Unfortunately I had a crap childhood and both my parents are dead. My children are my work I know I can't keep them with me and they have to grow up. I did not know it would hurt as much as this !

I feel redundant will I always feel this way ? Will the feeling fade as time passes?

[FRreedman]

I know, when my son went to uni, I actually cried. After the first term when he came home, I couldn't wait for him to leave and go back. Guess what, about a week after he returned to uni, I wished he was back home. It lasted about two weeks. He is now married with one child and one on the way, and we speak four or five times a week on the phone. When he comes to us we have a great time, and also when we visit him (not so often, because I can't travel a lot) and stay over for one or two days, it is great. It does get easier, but don't overly crowd them, they've got to find their own two feet, and then they will still keep coming home or at least remain in contact as much as they can.

Meanwhile, don't forget the ones that have stayed at home, don't make them think if I went away then she would want me like that, and not keep pushing me away. Look after the ones that are still in need of your mothering and help, so that they too, will want to return to the nest or close by when their time comes.

[Poohbear76 in reply to FRreedman]

Thank you for you reply. I try not to overly crowd them.

My other two live in there own houses, and work, in the same city as me. I only visit if I am asked and they usually call me a few times a week.

My little one was born eleven years after the first four so he is a little spoilt. I enjoy spending time with him especially playing with Lego 🙄

I know that I will still see them it's just that 400 miles is so far. I will put on smile on my face as I wave them both off.

Your right they do have to learn to stand on there own two feet. I know I am lucky that they are doing what they want to do and have the confidence to do it.

[Dolphin14]

It is tough when that part of our life comes to a close. For me I felt I lost my sense of purpose.

It does get easier. 400 miles seems like a lot but it isn't really.

However, even if they were an hour away they still have their own busy lives now. That's what we helped them prepare for.

We just have to find new things to keep us busy. Believe me I'm not saying it's easy. But, in time it just becomes the new normal way of life.