is there any one who can advise me how to best deal with a situation where a family member has had health proplems for 15+ years however shows signs of hypercondria.
For as long as I can remember my mother has had one problem after another. As a result, she has been on pain medication for many years which I fear she may have developed an addiction and is now causing long-term side effects and real problems. She shows signs of being a hypercondriac and has done for many years now i've researched it. but will bite you head off at the suggestion.
It's got to the point where myself and other family members find it hard to interact with her as every topic of conversation will lead to her talking about herself or health.
I've reached out to have an appointment with my gp as I'm emotionally drained from her and need to speak to someone on how to address these issues.
Written by
PeterG1990
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Hello.. wow.. that's a hard one, BUT.. I would just say...be there for ur mom.Whether its hypochondria or etc... she still needs u . Others in the family can make there choice. Being alone with family that doesn't care hurts..this is from personal experience talking. .Remember..sometimes we are dealt stuff in life we cant control BUT maybe down the line she will be able to. Definitely get the help u need to be able to deal with ur mom, BUT just remember..even with all she may have gone through and is still going through..she raised u and u seem to have turned out well.
Welcome to our community. I can understand your concern for your mother and how difficult it is for you and your family to cope with her situation. Speaking to yours and her GP may be helpful, at least in supporting your own needs. However, trying to suggest that your mother has health anxieties, which may or may not be founded in past or present problems, is tricky and not surprisingly has made her upset and resistant to the suggestion. If she has health anxieties she would need to be aware of them and want to seek help herself. No one can impose their perceptions on another person. If she wanted help then psychological therapies such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) could be a way forward. If she has been on long-term pain medication, this would have been I presume for genuine reasons and should be being monitored by her GP anyway, and have a medication an annual review. Many people who have not experienced chronic pain find it hard to understand and may assume wrongly that the pain isn't entirely genuine. But the pain is real and the mechanisms involved are very complex both physically and psychologically, and the person living with chronic pain needs empathy and understanding. There are NHS Pain Management Programmes (PMP) which teach self-management strategies to turn down the pain amplifier and not just relying on analgesia. Maybe discussing these options with her GP may be helpful. Check out these links below for more information.
I would definitely go ahead and get some help for yourself, first...if you are afraid that it will upset your mom, then feel free to keep it to yourself, for a bit...
Your mom could have a true condition that's been badly mis diagnosed, for all of these years...any chance of updated testing and a second opinion? She may still need the physical diagnosis, as well as an emotional evaluation...although, you may have to sympathetically spin it, so that it is a total wellness evaluation...
If you can ask your gp if they know of someone your mother could consult on her own, that may take a lot of the emotional anguish off of you and family members for a bit. Good luck and let us know how things go...
Hi peter, Our situations seem pretty similar, my mother too was full of health issues for years which seemed to be like problem after problem. I was young and had to take on the role of the responsible parent, Which totally drained me. This December will be five years since my mother passed and looking back on it now I wish I had done things a little differently. I helped her any way I could but there’s only so much you can do for a parent that’s not well off.
My suggestion is you get her into see her gp and have them assess her every problem. Start at possibly getting her into see a psychiatrist and a therapist regularly. Not sure where your from but where I live the county has social workers that can help with planning and maintaining a persons health. They can guide you to different programs that help take some of the stress off of you.
Get your mom signed up with basically a new life like new things to do and people to talk to. She probably focuses too much on her health problems because that’s all she can think about. Have her keep a daily journal and have her bring that to her appointments with her therapist. I know it’s overwhelming. Hang in there!
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Newbie here Looking for advice , thanks in advance x
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